12 Stupid Search Terms and 1 Very Important Lesson
First of all, you’ll be happy to know that the top search term entered into Google which results in an IttyBiz visit is “naked firemen”. Not home business. Not small business. Not entrepreneurship. More people enter naked firemen and arrive here than those who enter IttyBiz and Itty Biz combined. Oh, the glorious power of Page Rank.
Other search engine highlights:
“At what point do you think you can be an entrepreneurship”
When I was in high school, there was a grade eleven course called Entrepreneurship — which, for the record, I did not take — and the teacher had a running joke that if you could spell “entrepreneur”, you would pass. Let’s make a new rule, shall we? If you don’t know that “being an entrepreneurship” is not the correct word usage, you’re not ready.
Where they ended up:
Entrepreneurship — What To Do When You’re Scared Shitless
“Big pootang”
I have a feeling that IttyBiz was somewhat of a disappointment for this particular reader, don’t you?
Where they ended up:
Go Big Or Suck: A Guide To Being Unforgettable
“Breasts like mangoes”
If you knew me in person, you’d know exactly how disappointed this poor bastard was.
Where they ended up:
Duct-Taped Breasts, Hairy Mangoes, and New Kids On The Block
“Cattle branding kids”
What the fuck was this person searching for? Yes, we all think of doing it, but who searches for it in Google?
Where they ended up:
Brand Vs. Image: What’s The Difference, Anyway?
“Does my ass look good in a thong?”
Honey, if you’re asking, the answer ain’t yes.
Where they ended up:
Bikini Vs. Thong: My Response To The Challenge
“Had to pee in the sink desperate”
Has Google become a confessional? Is it no longer for searching but for admitting stuff? Is it just one big ass PostSecret?
Where they ended up:
Moral of the Story: Violent Snuggling Edition
“Im brand new at my job and i fucken get the flu”
See previous entry. Um, sorry?
Where they ended up:
What To Do When You Hate Your Job
“Morals in marketing”
Honey, there are no morals in marketing.
Where they ended up:
Moral of the Story: Marketing to Alcoholics Edition
“How can I be the ultimate starfucker?”
Somebody, there is an ebook begging to be written here.
Where they ended up:
The 6 Types Of Blog Commentors — Do You Know Them?
“What does Gen Y eat for breakfast?”
Gen X, baby. Gen X.
Where they ended up:
Penelope Trunk Says I Am Older Than My Mother
“Women Painted To Look Like Tigers”
I liked this one so much I Googled it myself. Not nearly as interesting as you’d think.
Where they ended up:
What Tiger Woods Can Teach You About Marketing
Now for the lesson. Seriously, this is important.
Somebody reached my blog using this search term:
“How do I know my mummy and daddy love eachother?”
All joking aside, some poor kid out there is up in his room, searching for this in Google. Remember this when you’re bitching at your spouse for not cleaning up the toothpaste. Do you want that to be your kid?
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