It would appear that I am completely incapable of just staying away and keeping my mouth shut.

There was an excellent guest post on Copyblogger about social media skepticism by Bob Hoffman. As we are pretty big fans of skepticism here at IttyBiz HQ, I figured I’d come on out and open my pie hole.

The premise of the post is that from a marketing standpoint, social media and the internet in general are not as interactive and social as we’re making them out to be.

“But for the vast majority of internet users – the ones who don’t have blogs and don’t have their own websites – it is mostly another passive medium. And it’s getting passiver.” (Anybody who uses a word like “passiver” is welcome to stop by for a beer any time they like.)

As people with something to sell, we really, really, really want to believe that it’s this oh-so-interactive place but sadly, we’re wrong.

“It is my contention that web interactivity is continuing to grow for most every function except marketing. It is my further contention that marketing on the web is evolving very much as marketing on TV evolved – people with stuff yelling at people with money.” Cue big ass red text.

People with stuff yelling at people with money.

Many will talk shit about this article. Several already have. But I think it’s dead on and I’ll tell you why.

Go find a blog. Any blog. This one will do. Read some of the comments. (Maybe not the ones on the Stompernet review, but any other post is fine.) See who’s there.

The people who are commenting — interacting — are other bloggers. Some of them are my competitors, some of them are nearly competitors, some of them will be competitors when they’re able to quit their day job and start their own home business. Some of them just like to come here and hang out because home business on the internet is a fucking lonely business.

They are never going to buy what I sell.

The people who buy what I have to sell are generally people I wouldn’t know if they wrote their name on a frying pan and hit me in the face with it.

They will come, they will buy, they will have their problem solved. I am very lucky in that many of my clients have become friends, but they didn’t start out that way.

(From a commentator, Aura Mae: “At this point it seems more like a circle-jerk than an effective method of interacting with potential clients.”)

“…the average consumer simply does not have the time or the inclination to have conversations with marketers. Most of them, wisely, don’t have conversations with their husbands. Why in the world would they want to have conversations with us?”

Do you want to sit around and have a beer with Dell? Smirnoff? Apple? (OK, maybe Apple.) Did you wake up this morning and say, “You know, I haven’t really connected with the people who are trying to sell me shit lately. Maybe I should start a conversation. A really deep and meaningful one”?

No. You’re going to buy your fucking vodka and go home and get drunk with your real friends.

Interacting is a social activity. Buying is a commercial activity.

People in interaction mode don’t like being sold to. People looking to buy something don’t want to sit around and chat. They do not want you to be their friend.

They want you to solve their problem.

From Graham Strong:

“The Internet has the capability of increasing that communication level. Although you don’t always hear a voice, you can play a game of chess a lot easier with your friend, watch a YouTube video, etc. Do all this *while* on the phone, and you increase your interactivity even more.”

Absolutely. Extremely interactive and cool. But when I’m playing chess with my blog pack, I’m not whipping out my credit card to buy whatever the banner ads are selling. I’m busy hanging out playing chess with my friends.

From Rick-with-no-url:

“Just because you can’t figure out a way to market to those audiences doesn’t mean they’re not interacting. It just means that maybe they don’t want to interact with someone trying to sell or pitch something to them, instead of honestly contributing to their conversation.”

From Hayes Thompson:

“The number of ‘harnessing the marketing power of social networks’ articles I read last year. Not one could say how. We all love passing around this viral or that link. But are they shifting product? I saw a Vodafone web page streaker the other day. Funny for 2 seconds but it did nothing to stop me signing another 18 month contract with my current network.”

Dead on. If I hear one more thing about harnessing the power of social media… well, I won’t say that in print.

The take-away point and the real way to make money online:

Theoretically, socializing and buying can go hand in hand. Practically, they don’t. Your real market doesn’t have a clue who you are. They don’t know you, let alone like you. They are not your friends. They are busy and stressed out and in need of a product or service and they don’t have time to sit around and talk to you. Stop trying to “harness the power of social media” and start solving problems. Solve real problems and you have a license to print money.

By Naomi Dunford - May 30, 2008 in Home Business Marketing - 46 Comments
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Hello, y’all. I know I said I’d be taking the week off from blogging but I have something very important to say.

Over the next little while, your favorite home business website will be rolling out some affiliate links. (For those of you who aren’t hip to the internet marketing jive, affiliate is code for commission.)

I won’t be whoring out anything I don’t already own. Hell, I won’t be whoring out anything I couldn’t give you a tutorial on. But the kids need Shiraz just as much as we do, and they’re reaching an age where we can’t water down the booze anymore.

If you ever buy anything through an affiliate link here and it sucks, send me an email and I will strongly consider giving you your money back myself.

My point is, I think it’s important to be objective when you’re reviewing stuff. I generally won’t post outright negative reviews because if I think it sucks I’m not going to waste my time and yours by writing about it.

However. (That’s a really big however.)

I read The Rich Jerk the other day. If you’re in my industry, you’ve heard of it. If you’re not in my industry, someone who IS in my industry will try to sell it to you at one point or another. It’s about making money online. I’d like to give you my review.

The Rich Jerk Ultimatum

If you buy The Rich Jerk after reading this review, you can’t come to my site anymore.

(If you’ve already bought it, you may stay. It’s hardly your fault it took me this long to read it.)

It’s not that it’s bad. I can handle bad. Everybody and their mama is writing info products these days, and statistically speaking, most of them suck. It’s that it’s evil. And wrong. And dirty.

Half the shit in that book will get your site banned from Google forever. The other half your kid could’ve figured out through Googling “make money online”.

For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, don’t buy this book.

There. Now when I say nice shit about stuff you’ll be more inclined to believe me and click my links.

By Naomi Dunford - May 28, 2008 in Home Business Product Reviews - 23 Comments
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This is a guest post by the charming and handsome Nick Cernis. He forms the lesser-hinged half of Goburo. He writes at Put Things Off, the laid-back productivity blog.

“You’re fucking mental.”

I’ve just told my best friend that I’m quitting my cushy day job to start a home business, pimping me and my partner out as a graphic design and web development duo. My partner’s ditching her job too.

“You’re both fucking mental.”

I inhale the vapour from my bittersweet hot chocolate and seek solace in the silky oblivion where full-fat cream and rich, Venezuelan Cacao become one with the crushed chilli I’ve laced into the devilish mixture.

Two thoughts slap me harder than a fat balding man with a cold wet fish:

1) I dearly love my friend
2) She’s absolutely right

So I’m crazy. I couldn’t wish for a more wonderful compliment. You see, when your loved ones tell you that you’re madder than a sack full of badgers for going it alone, what they never follow up with is this:

In home business, insanity is your biggest asset.

From this day forth, let your craziness be your secret weapon. Not only does it give you the impetus to take that swan dive into the unknown, but it insulates you from criticism, allows you to see problems differently, and helps you to gain insight into people and markets that others lack.

If you’re not convinced, don’t panic. Perhaps you’re still wondering if your friends are right to mentally bind you in a straight jacket, cast worrying glances, and tootle their horns of concern (“so, how’s business?”). Relax. You’ll be fine. Insanity always trumps normality in the end. It’s why the brilliant people in life float to the top.

One day your home business will make you rich. Or incarcerated.

Let’s not get too silly here. We’re not playing games with our mental welfare. There’s a fine line between courting entrepreneurial brilliance and finding yourself on a date with Billy Bonkers in his tree-top crazy house.

The difference is this: if you know you’re insane, chances are high that you’re not. You’re probably a WOMBLE instead:

1) Wonderfully brave

2) Outrageously smart

3) Marvelously inventive

4) Brilliantly ambitious

5) Lucky as hell

6) Egotistical (Sometimes it’s just best to be honest.)

A nutter’s guide to silencing the voices

So why do your friends call you crazy instead of one of the more ego-stroking adjectives? Naomi has a list of good reasons your loved ones want your home business to fail. Another one is this: your mates probably wish they were as brave, smart, inventive, ambitious or lucky as you are. Secretly, they want to be Wombles too.

So what do you do? How do you crush those negative vibes? When struggling to convince friends and family about your new raison d’être, consider these tips:

1) Shut up about it.

I’m an ideas person. For almost five years I waffled on about my many schemes. The problem wasn’t that I had lots of them. It was that I never committed to one. My reward? A reputation for being a dreamer and not a doer. My business practically was the beer mat.

It took me five years. Don’t make the same mistake. These days, we never commit to a new business idea if it can’t be launched in one month. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be out there, testing the market and ringing the till.

Your goal should be the same: shut up about it and just launch something one month from now. (Editor’s Note: Very Exciting And Top Secret Stuff from IttyBiz to help, coming soon.) Then you’ll have a live project to talk about, results you can demonstrate and, if you’re lucky, some cash in the bank to silence the naysayers. It also makes it easier to leave your current job faster, if that’s something that appeals.

2) Have an answer for everything.

Your goal should be to launch soon, but you need a skeleton plan. It’s not rocket surgery. (Rocket science? Brain surgery?) You can write one in 10 minutes. It won’t win you venture capital funding, but that’s not your goal — the goal is to answer all the hard questions your mates ask like “How will you get the word out?” and “Who the hell’s going to buy that?”

If you’ve already launched your business without a 10 minute plan and you’re still meeting with resistance from friends or family (and even if you’re not), just sit down and draft one today. It’s no fun flying blind, and you’ll start winning those arguments.

3) Use the Puppy Dog Close.

My favorite sales technique, the Puppy Dog Close offers a way to reverse a decision that few will ultimately take: “Why not take the puppy home? You can always bring him back if you change your mind.“

Of course, few are cruel enough to return the puppy, regardless of how often it craps on their new carpets. This works with any argument. In your situation you might say “Why don’t we just go for it? If we’re struggling with the bills in 12 months we can always get jobs again.” That’s what I did. Two years later, we’ve still got the puppy.

What to take away from this madness

When someone you love and respect tells you you’re bonkers, for goodness sake, smile and thank them for the compliment. Unless, of course, you’ve just announced your plan for a solo transatlantic water crossing in a cuckoo clock made of cheese.

Like I said, it’s a fine line.

Photo credit: I’m Your Pusher

By Naomi Dunford - May 27, 2008 in Guest Post - 38 Comments
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Hi everybody! Just a quick update to let you know that as of June 1st, IttyBiz prices are going up.

The IttyBitty package — two hours of phone consultation in one big chunk or as many little chunks as you need to get your ass kicked into marketing high gear — will be $199.

The Retainer — the same two hours of phone consults plus email support and general badgering throughout the month — will be $300.

The Press Release — and holy moly, is it just me or does everybody and their beagle want a press release these days? — will be $199.

If you want to lock in the May prices ($129, $200, and $129, respectively) you’re not totally screwed. You can pay now (by Sunday) and we’ll hook you up with a later slot. We’re booked until most of the way through June at the moment but there are a few slots left if you’re not picky on time of day.

You can email me if you want to get into project details and stuff or you can just pay directly through PayPal to naomi.dunford@rogers.com with something like “I’m locking in my price” in the blurb and my personal assistant husband will get you sorted out.

***

Since that’s probably going to get kinda crazy, I’m taking the week off from the blog. Lined up for tomorrow we have a wicked awesome guest post from the handsome and charming Nick Cernis. Then on Monday there are Very Exciting And Top Secret Things happening at IttyBiz HQ and all (OK, most) will be revealed.

By Naomi Dunford - May 27, 2008 in Home Business Marketing - 11 Comments
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First, if you haven’t already read it, go read Is StomperNet a Scam? A Home Business Cautionary Tale. Second, I haven’t had any coffee yet. If I’m not lucid, you know why.

After taking a little more of a look around StomperNet last night — because why spend time with your family or read a good book when you can obsess about your home business? — I made an interesting discovery.

Turns out, there are actually 117 videos — really core and valuable concepts — that they mail you on DVD at the beginning. If you don’t want to wait for them, you can get them all online, now and forever, for free. These videos are pretty necessary before the premium content will even make sense.

After taking a gander (I’ve always wanted to say that), it occurred to me that THOSE videos you couldn’t get through in a month. Or two months. The premium content stuff, while still sneaky and weird, was not as bad as it first seemed.

There are home business lessons to be learned here, people.

1. Too much buzz gets people hyper.

When we joined, they sent a “read this first” document. They mentioned something about sending DVDs. Was I paying attention? NO. I was hyped. I was stoked. I wanted to get to the meat. I had just gone through days of waiting and hyping, and I didn’t want anything to do with boring ass “How to use this program” documentation. (EDITED TO ADD: I’ve read the documentation now, and it still doesn’t say anything about premium content OR credits.)

I got to what I thought was the meat and it said I had to pay. I went from zero to livid in 1.2 seconds. My very first experience as a customer was one of feeling screwed. Was I being screwed? Not as badly as I’d thought. But this shouldn’t have been allowed to happen.

Did I jump to conclusions? YES. Should I have investigated every conceivable angle before I posted about this to a bunch of home business owners on my blog? Maybe. Should they have tested this shit with the dumbest people they could get their hands on before releasing it to the public? Hell, yes.

Marketing is about psychology. As good marketers — and damn, are they ever good marketers — they should have realized that this much buzz and urgency would put people into a non-rational state. When you’re dealing with a bunch of people who are hyped and irrational, it’s good to make things REALLY FUCKING CLEAR.

2. Too much buzz gets people dubious.

“Too good to be true” bells were ringing in my head. I was already looking for the way they were going to screw me. At the first whiff of screwedness, I was already pissed. I was primed for a fight. Again, basic human psychology says this will be an automatic reaction. Mitigate it, for God’s sake.

3. Pay attention to your copy.

One line would have fixed this. It could have been “to prevent sneaky fuckers trying to game the system, we’re capping certain downloads.” Or “if you’re new to StomperNet, these videos aren’t really suitable for you. Watch the 117 videos first…”

Considering the amount of money they must have spent on this launch, SOMEBODY should have caught this. Remember when we said “think of the stupidest person in the world. That person is your customer”? If they thought to add “If I haven’t logged in for a month, do I still have to pay?” to their FAQ, they should have thought to add something here. If 90% of the blogs out there have a little icon that says “What is RSS?”, these guys should have something that says “What is premium content?”

4. Your readers have a right to do what you don’t want them to do.

As an honest user, I wasn’t aware there was a system to game. Let’s say I was only going to stay for a month, get everything I could out of it, and leave. Would there be anything wrong with that? Would it be against the Terms of Service?

If they wanted to kick out the gamers, they should’ve said “We’re doing this to kick out the gamers.” Then I, as a non-gamer, might have been more sympathetic. Instead, I felt like they were accusing me.

At this price point, there are probably a lot of people who used their last damn dime, figuring they’d go in, sponge as much information as they possibly could, learn from it, and maybe come back for the full year next year. There might be some crazy polyphasic sleeper out there figuring they’ll watch videos for 20 hours a day. That is their right.

5. The internet amplifies all of your screw ups.

Would this have happened 15 years ago? I can be blogging about this in minutes. Yes, I can post something well reasoned and rational the next day, but what about my drive by traffic? What about the people who found this on SU, read it, and will never be seen again?

Maybe articles like this increase the buzz around an already overbuzzed product. But out of the couple thousand people reading this blog, I’d venture to say that 1700 of them hadn’t even heard of StomperNet until yesterday. Now the first thing they hear is bad. If you’re going to do business online, you have to be aware of this and do everything you can to prevent it.

6. Don’t be cheap.

The primary feeling I had coming out of this was that they were being cheap. I’m spending a lot of money, and they’re nickel and diming me on premium content? Um, no. You got me, okay? I’m sold. I’m in. Don’t keep hyping me. I’m loyal now. Don’t screw it up by trying to capitalize on your hype. Just don’t. It’s not nice.

7. Plan for this.

Some people will game your system. Some people will take all of your content and slap it up on torrent sites. It’s going to happen. Do not penalize the good guys in an attempt to stop the bad guys.

If you must do this — and really, you shouldn’t, but if you must — WARN THEM. If you’re going to put cameras in the change rooms, put a fucking sign up that says you’re doing it to prevent shoplifting. Do not think people will come to this conclusion on their own. They won’t.

By Naomi Dunford - May 23, 2008 in Home Business Marketing - 44 Comments
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Anybody who is anybody in internet marketing is talking about StomperNet today. Well, I joined this $800 a month internet marketing extravaganza, and I have a lot to say. Read on, folks.

First, some backstory…

Recently, a very good friend of mine and I decided to start a little home business venture. We figured that although we had a very high level of combined knowledge of many relevant facets of our business model, we should look into coaching or membership sites to make sure we were sharp as tacks when it came to our ittybiz.

In Came StomperNet

For those of you not in the know, StomperNet is the most hyped product launch I’ve ever seen. Remember here that hype is my bread and butter. Hype is going to put my kids through college, but this hype was unheard of. New Coke and the original 1984 Apple computer had nothing on this shit. We were bombarded, y’all.

There was a series of incredibly informative videos, one released each day coming up to the launch.

There was no documentation or product brochure made available online until today, the day we could join.

They did not disclose how many members they would be accepting, but we knew there wouldn’t be many.

They did not disclose how long membership would be open. (There were rumors that they would only be accepting members for anywhere from 6 hours to 72 hours.)

Today was the first day they would be accepting new members since LAST MAY.

It costs $797 a month and half of the industry was scrambling to pull together the cash to get in on this craziness.

The idea is, as part of StomperNet, you would have access to 600 videos about everything from SEO to conversion techniques to niche sites to domain flipping to Adwords and more. All from established and agreed-upon experts in each area. The best of the best, doing what they do best.

You would have access to an incredible member’s only forum and get the same experts and more looking at your site, your blog, your business and helping you personally.

Four times a year free member’s only conferences.

“Faculty hours” where you could ask the best of the best anything you wanted, for free and in private.

If you know anything about internet marketing — and don’t worry, nobody expects you to — you’d realize this was the steal of a lifetime. It was everywhere. The newly re-Canadian Yaro was promoting it and while I do not agree with everything he says, he generally knows his shit.

So my partner and I get in line. We wait with our screens held on their countdown page. We hold our breath, knowing the whole “Whoops, we’re so busy that our server crashed” thing was both bullshit and very likely. Didn’t matter, it was worth it.

We sign up. We get every sign up bonus. We are very happy.

Long story short, we log in, we look around, all is cool. Then we see something that is no doubt copywritten so I’ll paraphrase it here:

“This is premium content. It will cost 10 credits.”

What the fuck?

(See how mad I am? I’m breaking the iron clad no-F-word-in-header-text rule.)

Again, long story short, it would seem that with each month of membership, you get 375 “credits”. This means you can watch 37 of the premium videos — of which it appears there are several hundred — that seem to be around 20 minutes each.

Um, no. Fuck that.

Is StomperNet a Liar?

No. They did not lie.

They said we would have access to every video.

Yup, we do. Just not in the same month.

They said we would have access to every part of StomperNet.

Yup, we do. Just not in the same month.

They never said UNLIMITED access. Just access to everything.

What your Home Business Can Learn From This

Do I think StomperNet is worth the money? Yes.

Do I think any sensible person could make their money back at least two-fold? Yes.

Am I staying a member? No.

Here’s the thing. I have dropped EIGHT HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS for access to this. That is more than my rent. And now I feel like I got fucked.

Lesson to Home Business Owners:

If you’re using manipulative sales and conversion tactics, if you’re doing something people in your industry think is pretty dirty but they’re going along with it anyway, if you already have people nervous as shit about their investment, you better fucking follow up with the best goddamn program ever.

When you start like that, you have ZERO room for screw ups. You have ZERO room for users with a bad taste in their mouth. You have ZERO room for me to feel like you fucked me.

Do not lie. (Which, to their credit, StomperNet did not.)

Do not almost lie.

Do not bend the truth.

Most importantly, and this won’t apply to you but it does apply to them, do not use what are, by your own admission, the best sales tactics in the business on me and then follow it up with shit. I already don’t trust you. I’m already wary.

If you use these tactics you have one option and one option only… blow my fucking mind.

Again, to their credit… StomperNet appears to have a rock solid refund policy. They appear to have an extremely good product. I do not think they’ve taken MORE THAN MY RENT just to fondle one extra high priced hooker at lunch. But learn the lesson. Don’t ever do this.

By Naomi Dunford - May 22, 2008 in Home Business Marketing - 40 Comments
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(This is a guest post from the lovely David and of Postcard Perfect. One of his taglines is “Because frankly, ecards are kind of lame.” You can see why he fits in well with IttyBiz.)

Want me to swear under my breath? Ask me the following question:

“How’s PostcardPerfect coming along?”

I suppose I should explain. PostcardPerfect, my one year old home business start-up (unofficial slogan: “bringing sexy back, one postcard at a time”), went from an exciting initial launch to a flat-line of progress. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. For the last six months I’ve been answering said question with some variation of: “Umm..you know….it’s coming,” which, of course, is just code for: “Nothing’s changed, get off my back.”

The animosity, however, is not because the business is doomed. It’s not because people aren’t interested in the product. At the end of the day, it’s because I have done very little recently to move things forward.

Why? It’s not because I’m “just lazy” (I made it this far, right?), and it’s not because I don’t know how to proceed. No, I think it’s something else entirely.

I think it all boils down to a lack of urgency.

The problem is that I’m surviving. Every day I go to work (day job in the corporate world), and every month I pay my mortgage. There’s no urgency. You could work for yourself and be in the same boat.

If your basic needs aren’t being threatened, you probably lack urgency.

Contrast that with home business owners that have to fight to keep food on the table. There’s no contest. Things I casually avoid (cold calls, for example), they make themselves do. What I perpetually push off to “next week”, they accomplish today. While I rationalize time spent reading blogs as “working” (professional development?), they are getting results. Know why?

Cause they have no choice.

They’re in a position that requires going full steam just to survive. They have urgency. So, how do I get back on track?

The catch is that you can’t really fake urgency. Either you’re down to the last package of ramen, or you’re not. So, short of putting yourself in a overly risky position (for me it’d be quitting my day job), the only way around it is to play mind games with yourself. Here are some tactics that I’ve used in the past:

1) Create external deadlines

The trick is to set events in motion that will create consequences if you fail to to do something by a set date. For example, when trying to secure retail space in San Francisco, I needed to talk store managers. Cold calling gift shops and trying to pitch a brand new concept wasn’t exactly something I looked forward to. Consequently, I kept avoiding it. Finally, I just booked a flight (I’m in Chicago) a couple weeks out. For fear of having nothing to do when my plane landed, I had no choice but to pick up the phone and start setting up appointments.

2) Put things you’re avoiding on your calender

As we learned in tactic one, I’m not big on cold calls. Unfortunately, at this stage in the game, they’re required. Another way I’ve forced progress is by booking a conference room at work for 30 minutes mid-day (I’m salary…believe me, I make it up). When the time comes it’s just me, a phone, and my list. No distractions. No excuses. The calls get made. This has proved much more effective then hoping I get the urge on my lunch break.

3) Set short-term resolutions

I started using new month resolutions a few months ago and have found them to work fairly well. Essentially, they are new years’ resolutions with a light at the end of the tunnel. Telling yourself that you’re 26 days from reaching your goal is much more encouraging than 11 months and 26 days.

Another thing I’ve found is that they work better as action, rather than outcome, goals. Meaning, I’m better off committing to 30 minutes of cold calls per day than I am to closing five deals in a month. Essentially, it removes excuses in advance. I can control the time I spend. I can’t as well control the end result.

So that’s it — three simple tactics I plan to use to motivate myself to near-urgency levels. I’ve seen them work before, and I’m pretty sure that if I make an effort they’ll work again. So give me a couple weeks, and then feel free to ask me “How’s PostardPerfect coming along?” With any luck, I’ll be glad to tell you.

PS. What did I miss? What methods have worked for you?

[Editor's Note: It would be really cool if you could stumble this post and give David some love.]

By Naomi Dunford - May 21, 2008 in Guest Post - 26 Comments
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Somebody I know who has a highly cool blog and home business in-the-making emailed me with a totally heartbreaking question. They emailed in response to When Your Loved Ones Want You To Fail. I thought the question (and hopefully answer) would help you guys, and the sender graciously allowed me to use the question anonymously in Ask IttyBiz.

“In short: it’s not about my little blog, it’s about the home business. You wrote a post about it - how to deal with uncooperative “loved ones”. But it is SO hard. I need help from people, b/c it’s a new biz, but sometimes it feels like strangers are a lot more helpful than friends are. Some people, whom I considered as friends, tend to disappear as soon as I ask them for something, even though I would have helped them if they had asked me for help.

My business partner tells me not to take it personally. That a big part of starting any biz is to receive a lot of “no’s” from people whom you expected a “yes”. My spouse tells me not to take it personally. To just re-categorize these people as “acquaintances” and move on. But I DO take it personally. How do you deal with it? Do you just re-categorize and move on? Do you remove these people from your life? How do you avoid feeling disappointed and hurt?”

My woefully inadequate answer:

“Oh, you poor thing. That sucks. It sucks rocks. I have been there. (To a degree I’m still there but I’m making enough money that I can console myself somewhat.)

My story, if it helps at all, is this one. Both of my parents (long divorced and hate each other) have always known I’d do great. No problem there. Total and unlimited source of support. My husbands (I’m on number 2), not as much. Jamie’s great now but there were times in the beginning when he thought I was totally mental. My in-laws were BRUTAL. And my friends? Don’t even get me started. I had to fire my friends and get new ones.

Here’s my theory:

The world of human relationships operates on a pecking order principal. Like dogs in packs. Somebody’s on top, somebody’s next, and so on. Except we’re more complex than dogs, so we have dozens and hundreds and thousands of arenas in which we subconsciously compete.

(The media example is where one sister is the “pretty” one and the other is the “smart” one. When one of the sisters upsets the balance of who is pretty and who is smart, you’ve got a shit storm on your hands.)

Both of my husbands, and both of their sets of parents, have deep down operated with the mindset that the man makes the real money. Yes, the woman is expected to contribute financially, but the man is the real earner. The thing is, I have a skill that pays me three figures an hour in some cases. You just can’t make that kind of money where I live. It throws people off and people hate what they don’t know. It fucks them up.

The real truth of the matter is that the vast majority of the people on this planet are incredibly cynical. In your case (or my case, or the case of pretty much any IttyBiz owner) is that they very strongly think you will fail. They probably don’t WANT you to fail, but deep down, they think you will.

What does that do to them? It makes THEM look like an idiot if they “went along with it”. If they were involved in the process, they were involved in a FAILING process. That is bad for their ego, so they don’t bother.

The what-to-do-about-it part of the email:

If they’re really unhelpful, recategorize as acquaintances and never do them a favor again. If asked why, your answer is that you’re too busy with your business.

If they’re only mildly uncooperative, just don’t ask for help.

Especially when it comes to online biz, they don’t get it. They think of it as a slightly dirtier version of Amway.

As far as how I dealt with the hurt, frankly, I wasn’t hurt. I took the abject failure route through life, so everyone thought I was a complete fuck up. Dropped out of high school, married someone inappropriate, pregnant by 17. If I worked at McDonald’s people would have been impressed. It was no real surprise that they thought I’d fuck this up too. I just don’t talk to them about it any more. I’m also buying a Mercedes to shut them all up (no joke), but that’s just the revenge talking.

Get as much as you can out of your online peeps, and don’t discuss a damn word about your biz with offline peeps unless they ask. If they ask, your answer is, “It’s going great!” You may substitute “awesome” or “never better” if you wish.

Put in 20 hour days if you have to but do not put yourself in the position where you could get hurt any more than absolutely necessary. Sometimes it’s necessary. Most times it isn’t. It’s exhausting and scary and you’ll think you’ll never sleep again, but it’s worth it in the end.”

Do you guys have any advice?

If you’ve got any advice or commiseration to share, bring it on! If you don’t want to identify yourself, just go with “Anonymous” in the comments so you don’t have to publicly mention that your wife was a total bitch and wouldn’t help you with a damn thing.

By Naomi Dunford - May 20, 2008 in Ask IttyBiz - 49 Comments
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Every now and again in the blogosphere, you see a post about the lessons learned from blogging so far. As in, “my blog is X number of months old and here’s what I’ve learned”. I planned to do one of these last month when IttyBiz turned 0.5 but I was, like, working and I didn’t feel like it. (Frankly, I still don’t feel like it, but I’m going to retain the option to do it later when I have nothing more entertaining to discuss.)

Anyway, I’ve been doing some fun things with SEO recently and I ended up going through every post on this blog. I ran across some fun stuff that a lot of you might not have read, so I figured I’d fire some home business and blogging posts your way. It’s Monday and you’re surfing the internet to avoid work anyway — you may as well do it here and up my page views as anybody else’s. (In my case it’s Monday and I’m avoiding work because it’s a holiday in Canada. I figured I’d go really crazy and spend some time with my family.)

6 Types of Blog Commentators: Do you know them?

When You Feel Like a Raging Failure

Moral of the Story: Violent Snuggling Edition

How To Tell The Truth, Part One and the follow-up Honesty and the Fine Art of the Redirect

Getting More Jobs: Are You Cocky or Do You Have Balls?

What Are You Really Selling?

12 Stupid Search Terms and One Very Important Lesson

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By Naomi Dunford - May 19, 2008 in Home Based Business - 6 Comments
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Recently, my husband was emailing with a reader and he received a refreshingly honest email that included this line:

“She claims that she is an excellent copywriter, yet nothing on the IttyBiz site seems to showcase this talent.”

I give the writer of this email credit for his honesty. Once your blog reaches a certain point everybody just sucks up to you because they want you to whore them out. Good for this dude.

My mother always said to me that when it comes to big business, if one person writes to you with an opinion, ten thousand people share that opinion but say nothing. Same thing applies to home business, just on a smaller scale. I have a feeling there aren’t ten thousand of you out there thinking what this guy thinks, but I’ll venture to guess he’s not the only one. I’d like to address that.

The definition of good copywriting:

Good copywriting compels your reader to do what you want them to do.

That’s it.

If you’re doing what I want you to do because of what I’ve been writing, my copy is good. If your readers are doing what you want them to do because of what you’ve been writing, your copy is good. That’s it.

What is compelling to one demographic is repulsive to others. If you know your demographic well and effectively target your copy to them, your product or service has to suck pretty badly before you’ll fail.

The objective of all copywriting is conversion.

Conversion means different things to different business models. Conversion for you might mean a new subscriber, the capture of an email address, a lead on a sale, an actual sale, whatever. What conversion means to the individual business is irrelevant.

Your copy is good if it converts. That’s it.

Not all copy is created equal.

Let’s take a look at a couple of my new clients as examples…

Tim Brownson is a Florida life coach. He does funky things like neuro-linguistic programming and hypnotherapy. He’s been known to write a book or two in his time and he sells those books on his site.

Pron Wear makes shirts. Really offensive shirts. These shirts are glorious in their vulgarity. (Gee, I wonder why they hired me.)

Now imagine they both have “Buy Now” buttons on their sites.

One button says, “Buy a fucking [insert product here] already.”

The other button says, “A better life is one click away.”

Now I haven’t exactly invested a lot of thought in these two lines of copy, but I have a pretty good feeling one would convert reasonably well on Tim Brownson’s site and the other on Pron Wear. If you were to switch them, they would convert badly. Reasonably good conversions indicate reasonably good copy. Bad conversions indicate bad copy.

The copy doesn’t change. The context and demographic are the differentiating factors.

Not all conversions are created equal.

IttyBiz is moving in a new direction. All you need to know right now is that information products will be involved.

Standard sales and copywriting wisdom indicates that long sales pages convert better than short sales pages. The longer you make it, the more shit you throw into the deal, the more yellow text you use, the more people buy. In this context, the “buy” is the conversion.

Even though we would very much like you to buy our stuff, we will not be running long sales pages. We’ll probably do a few scrollbars worth of stuff for the newbies, but the sales page will probably be about one quarter of the length of the traditional high conversion page.

If the long page converts better, why aren’t we going with it?

Because we define conversion differently.

If you read my extremely persuasive sales letter that borders on bullying and you buy, I gain $50. If you read my non-persuasive and non-bullying sales letter, I may or may not gain your $50 but I will definitely gain your respect. Keep in mind, I will be selling more information products in the future.

Your respect does me a hell of a lot more good than your $50.

If you are selling a product through faceless affiliates to people you will never know the names of, the sale is your conversion. If you’re selling to people you know and like and want to sell stuff to again, the respect is the conversion.

Take-Away Point

Inherently, there is nothing wrong with either type of copy, but using the wrong copy on the wrong demographic is the fastest way to pack up your shingle and go back to your old boss begging for your cube back.

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By Naomi Dunford - May 16, 2008 in Marketing School - 32 Comments
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