Home Business Email Hell… One More Time With Feeling!

by Naomi Dunford

Friday, May 16th, 2008

My email is back to trying to kill me again. If you have something that’s urgent, please send it to naomi DOT dunford AT rogers DOT com or call me at 519-204-1398.

Otherwise, we’re redirecting the @ittybiz.com over to gmail over the weekend so if it’s not urgent you can safely email the normal address on Monday and I’ll get it just dandy.

Payments go through my personal email, so for those of you who have sent payments in the last couple days, thank you, and I got them.

Thank you for your patience, and for those of you who are so inclined there’s plenty of space in the comments to say “I told you so”.

The Bad Pun as Good Home Business Tagline

by Naomi Dunford

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
***
In a Podiatrist’s office:
Time Wounds All Heels.

***
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals–on Wheels
***
At a Proctologist’s door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.
***
On a Plumber’s truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed
***
On another Plumber’s truck:
Don’t sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!
***
On a Church’s Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.
***
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.
***
At a Towing company:
We don’t charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.
***
On an Electrician’s truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts
***
In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
***
On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!
***
At an Optometrist’s Office:
If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
***
On a Taxidermist’s window:
We really know our stuff.
***
On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!
***
At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.
***
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.
***
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
***
In a Restaurant window:
Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.
***
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We’ll wait…
***
At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.
***
At a radiator shop:
Best place in town to take a leak
***
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION – This Truck is Full of Political Promises

Too Big For Twitter, Too Small For a Blog Post

by Naomi Dunford

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Re: Home Business Branding

You wanna talk about branding? Check out this chick. Diane and Walter, who I’m going to assume are husband and wife, run a business called Novel Website Design. That link goes to their services page. Check out the names of their packages. Get it? Emulate this. This is fucking brilliant.

Re: Seasonal Marketing

There is a bar in this city with bad food, reasonable drinks, and the best patio in the history of patios. Nobody older than 23 would actually sit on that patio most of the time because it’s chock full of students being, well, students. On their little sign out front today it says:

“110 Days Until The Students Return. Come To Our Patio While You Still Can.”

Never would have crossed my mind. Now what am I going to do tonight? I’m going to this bar. Fucking brilliant, once again.

Jamie’s Two Cents

by Jamie Dunford

Sunday, May 11th, 2008

In Which Jamie Welcomes the Lurkers, and Lays the Smacketh Downeth in a Nice Way

OK, first things first. Naomi had a post a few days ago, and we saw the lurkers (and I use this term nicely, it is not meant to be derogatory) come out of the woodwork. Sometimes we get so used to seeing the same names on the comments on different posts that we forget that there are other people reading these posts whom we have never met. While it is always awesome to see our regular commentators show up and put in their two cents, it was especially awesome to see so many new names in the comment section.

Who’s The Asshole Now?

by Naomi Dunford

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

First off, thank you everyone for stopping by with your thoughts on yesterday’s No Asshole Rule post. Big supersized lilac colored thank yous to the lurkers — commenting here is not for the faint of heart, and I’m grateful. Hi, everyone. It’s nice to meet you.

Jamie is off thinking of a comment policy that is suitably funny and appropriately vulgar for this little home business blog — we might end up using something from How To Avoid Running Your Mouth Off Online — and I am thinking. I don’t have a lot of time to think lately, so sorry about that. It tends to get ugly because I’m so out of practice.

I read a comment by Milena Thomas of Quiet The Thunder, and she points to a link on her blog about comment rage. I was not a reader of hers before but I sure as hell am now. I’m not even going to bother to try and express what she expressed because I’d be useless at it, so just read it yourself when you have some time.

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