When my husband was young — like young enough for his parents to still buy his clothes for him — he didn’t have a lot of interest in fashion. Most 12-year-old boys don’t.

His mother, because she was a nice mother who thought children should have input in these things, used to ask him what he wanted. My husband, like most boys his age, didn’t know. She asked what he liked. He didn’t know. She asked what other boys his age wore. He didn’t know.

She, quite sensibly, suggested that since he saw these boys at school FIVE DAYS OUT OF SEVEN, that maybe he should have at least a clue what other kids are wearing. My husband, never the most observant when it comes to things like this, confessed that he did not.

One day, though, he knew. There was a new fashion, and he wanted in on it. He wanted a buzz cut. Read More

First, some tragic and distressing news. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll have heard that I was bragging a few weeks back that SEO School hadn’t been returned once. Considering that some digital products have return rates of up to 80%, that’s quite impressive.

Well, it WAS quite impressive, back when it was true. I’m sad to say that SEO School had its first return today, from a nice gentleman I don’t know.

Ask me why he returned it. Go on, ask me. OK, fine. I’ll just tell you. Read More

If you have been hanging around here for any length of time, you know that the lovely James Chartrand and I have been fighting near epic battles over taglines since our blogs were in diapers. I like funny. He does not. (This probably reflects our mutual views on life more than he would care to admit, but that’s neither here nor there.)

One such previous example can be found on the stupid tagline post. (While you’re there, also note the awesomeness of the taglines my readers came up with, and marvel that I am ranked number one IN THE ENTIRE WORLD for the phrase “stupid tagline”.)

Anyway, sit down and have a paper bag handy. I’m about to take his side. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Read More

Still in an undisclosed location doing dramatic things. In the absence of a real explanation, please assume I am on a deserted island with my Colombian lover.

I’m on a bit of a “sell more stuff” kick lately in case you haven’t noticed. (The other day’s comeback post was about offering too many choices as part of your marketing strategy.) Today, I’m on scarcity.

For newbies, scarcity is a big time marketing strategy. Short version: “Buy now ’cause they’re almost gone!”

Scarcity in marketing is a tough nut. On one hand, it’s arguably the best way on earth to sell your shit. On the other hand, done improperly — and it’s almost always done improperly — it’s as dirty as a Tijuana lady of negotiable affection. Read More

IttyBiz is live, if not on location. Today we’re going to talk about choices. Well, I’m going to talk about choices. You can talk about whatever the hell you like.

During the family drama that shall remain nameless and detailless and that is still in a full-fledged frenzy, I found myself in the gift shop of a major Canadian tourist attraction. (Sorry. That was a lie. I found myself in ONE OF THE GIFT SHOPS of a major Canadian tourist attraction. As in, there are more than one. For the same attraction.)

The gift shop in which I found myself was focused almost entirely on sweets. Candy, candy floss, fudge, pick ‘n’ mix, gobstoppers and jawbreakers, that sort of thing. If my nine-year-old were to die, this would be his heaven.

There’s a new kind of candy floating around in places like this called Pucker Powder. (Aside: I can’t tell you how much it kills me not to call it Puker Powder. You know what? Fuck it, I’m calling it Puker Powder. It’s my blog and I can call it what I want.) Read More