Some things that have worked for us:
* We have slightly different sleep schedules, which means I’m up around 6:00am and checking emails etc. I ‘officially’ start billable work around 8:00am (10:00am in my client’s time zone). He doesn’t usually rise until around 8:30am and by then I’m well and truly ‘at work’. I’ve usually finished at least one conference call by then. I work through until 4:00 or 5:00pm, and then I stop my billable work unless there’s something urgent that HAS to be attended to (rare). I find that having set work hours works really well for me, for my client (they know when I’m on deck and when I’m not), and for my husband.
* He respects my ‘work time’ and rarely talks to me throughout the day even though we sit about four feet apart all day. He also knows not to ask me house and life things while I’m working. There’s an unwritten post-it note that says “I’m not ignoring you – I’m working right now!”
* He rarely turns on any music until 3:00pm, which is the latest I would have my last client call. This must be hard for him as he’s spending his retirement researching a BIG music project, but if he really needs to listen to something, he’ll put on his headphones. He always asks if it’s OK to turn on the music, and checks if the volume level is OK for what I’m doing at the time.
* He picks up a lot about my work just listening to my side of the conversations I have with clients, and has gained a huge appreciation for my knowledge and for what I do. This is A Good Thing(TM), and he’s been much more encouraging of my speaking at overseas conferences than when he and I both worked in cubicle nation at quite different jobs.
* I take a little time out each day to have lunch and pop into our small country town to get groceries, pick up mail from the Post Office etc. While my husband could do it, I enjoy getting out of the office and away from the computer for a short time each day. When the weather is good, I also have lunch outside in the fresh air looking out over the fruit trees and native birds in our backyard. That recharges my batteries.

The hardest people to ‘train’ have been my parents, though they are much better now. We only live some 75 minutes away (it used to be 3 hours away), and initially they wanted to ‘drop in’ any day or suggested we meet them half way for lunch. I had to be firm and tell them that certain days and times were my work days, and that I was NOT available on those days – ever. It took a while; they’re good with it now.

Ultimately, it’s all about respect for the other person and what they do.

Great post! I’m not married, but I sure do hope to attract a great guy someday who would love to chat up my business and understand what I do.

I want to be properly ready and also don’t like people who talk about things and then never go through with them, so don’t want to be seen in this light if things take longer than they might do.

If I could get her to read this post then…yeah right. She doesn’t listen to me even if I am screaming the house is on fire. Ahhhh, don’t you love relationships.

I’m thinking about doing it again so a link to your post is on its way to her.

Oh, and btw- there IS something about dishes, Naomi does them in our house. I absolutely refuse. You have to have standards.

Not that it doesn’t have its place, but having a partner stop racing the other rats and start pacing the kitchen on their billion-dollar-idea phone call is its own animal, and you covered it nicely. Briefly, but nicely.

I’ve just forwarded the link to this column across the room to wife at her compy and told her I was going to comment with “I told her she had to do the dishes or go out and get a job… she starts work on Monday.” HaHA!

I’m loving being Mr. Mom, for the record, it’s just the dishes that I hate.