Oct
20
(Sorta) Live From Las Vegas, Part Two: The 7-Word Elevator Speech
If you’re staying anywhere on the Strip in Vegas, you won’t be able to avoid them. Several dozen of them on each side of the street. All of them silent and personally non-descript. Between 50 and 100 Hispanic men and women, all handing out pamphlets for prostitutes.
Because, well, hey. If you’re going to be in Vegas anyway…
Being a call girl in Vegas is different from being one anywhere else in America. For one, you’re not breaking the law, which is nice. (Edited to add: I’m told by the comments and Wikipedia that prostitution is in fact illegal in Las Vegas. Somehow, it makes this even cooler. Weirder, but cooler.) But you also have a shit ton more competition. (I guess they’re not breaking the law either, which lowers the barrier to entry a bit.)
In Toronto or Philadelphia or Flint, call girls have to be really, really quiet about what they do. But in Vegas, they can shout it from the rooftops. (And often do. Although billboards on the backs of pickup trucks seem to be more popular than actual shouting.)
Anyway, the pamphlet people. They stand there, COMPLETELY silent in a city where nothing is silent, and they smack their hands and wrists with their little stacks of pamphlets. All you can hear is the pamphlets and it sounds like video game gunfire. Three to five smacks at a time. SMACKSMACKSMACK, and then they stick it out in front for you to take.
They come so close to you that it borders on assault, and you wonder, “What in God’s name would possess anybody to take one of these pamphlets?” You think that if one wanted a hooker so badly, one could check the phone book. Or Google. Or the nearest F-150.
But people do take these pamphlets. Lots and lots and lots of people take them. And I have a theory as to why.
Every one of these pamphlet people is wearing a (shockingly) bright t-shirt. Red, yellow, blue, purple, green, pink. Bright beyond bright, and in Vegas, that’s saying something. And on each of their shirts are the same words in the same huge text:
Girls Direct To You In 20 Minutes
Now, this is the kind of blog where we could have a LOT to say about that particular little ditty, but we’re going to have a little bit of taste for once and not get into that side of things. Basically, we will concede that it’s the perfect USP and leave it at that.
But why are hundreds of people taking pamphlets that, statistically speaking, they’re unlikely to want, from the skeeziest looking human beings in an already skeezy looking state? It’s not like your average housewife from Cincinnati (hi Fabeku!) is interested in the services of a 20 minute call girl. Why is she taking the pamphlet?
You could argue that it’s because she’s had it thrust in her face.
You could argue that it’s easier to take it and keep walking than trying and dodge out of the way.
You could argue that she didn’t know what she was taking, even.
Good reasons. But the BIG reason she took it is that she’s not confused.
We might find prostitution reprehensible or disgusting or dirty or maybe-before-the-kids-were-born or giggly-gosh-gee-not-for-me, but we get it. We understand it. The concept of selling sex is one that we comprehend at such a fundamental level that it doesn’t need explaining.
In seven words, these guys have explained to every literate person on the Strip exactly what you get and how. When asked what they sell, they don’t say, “it’s complicated” or “oh, a little bit of this and a little bit of that” or “it’s so hard to explain what I do because I do SO MANY THINGS for SO MANY PEOPLE!”
(I don’t care who you are, you don’t do more shit for more people than a hooker in Vegas, honey.)
Far below the conscious level, we are about a trillion and a half times more receptive to things that we understand. As soon as we’re confused, you’ve lost us. That split second “huh?” is all it takes to lose us FOREVER.
Not always, sure. But enough people are walking away from your business saying “I don’t get it” that you can’t afford to hire 100 Mexicans to hand out flyers for you on the Strip.
Now go find seven words that explain exactly what you do and why it’s better than what everybody else does.
My geeky side says that someone needs to make a collectible card game (like Magic: The Gathering) based entirely on hooker trading cards.
Great post as usual, Naomi. :-)
I love that your marketing lessons involve alcohol, tattoos, homeless guys, and hookers.
Every time I see somebody with pamphlets or fliers, I think of the old Mitch Hedberg one-liner:
“When someone tries to hand me out a flier, it’s kinda like they’re saying, ‘Here, you throw this away.’”
The seven-word-elevator pitch does have me thinking, though…I’ll let you know when I’ve got one!
This reminds me of the $6 Haircuts story.
Father & son run a barber shop, then the $6 chain moves into town. Slowly but surely all their regular customers migrate to the chain. The dad’s flipping out, about to lose this business he’s built his whole life. More story stuff in the middle, then the son comes up with how they can compete with an ultra-cheap chain with national backing:
“We fix six-dollar haircuts.”
Can’t remember where I read that; my 6 words are the tagline of my site.
You got me to feel embarrassed about my pitch. I am impregnated (embarrasado) with thought, but perhaps I need some help with this task because I have tried so many times before without much success. Fresh perspective is required.
Damn, just when I thought this usp stuff was getting easier. Only 7 words? Can I cheat and make it 8 or 9 or 20?
You can have a pass for being awesome. It is non-transferable, though.
Before you run out and become a Vegas sex worker – it’s NOT legal in Las Vegas. It’s not legal in Clark County – it IS legal in most of the rest of the Nevada.
Well Lee already mentioned it, but I’ve got a great follow-up to that.
My first time in Vegas, when I checked into the hotel there was a pamphlet on the bed. No, *not* one of “those” pamphlets. This one was a public service from the hotel.
It explained that while yes, prostitution is legal in Nevada, it is *not* legal in Clark County. So if you go to what appears to be a brothel within the county, it’s a scam. You will sit at the bar, chat with the girls, buy a (very expensive) drink for the one you like, and she’ll ask if you want to go “in back”.
She’ll walk you down the hall, open a door, and you’ll be outside. And if you try to get back *inside* there will be a bouncer there to explain the facts of life. You bought a girl a ($100) drink. That’s it. What, you thought you were getting sex? Hey, that’s illegal here, do you want me to call the cops?
Nice racket, if you don’t mind being evil.
And seven words is for losers. I got mine in six. On both my sites. Boo-yah.
@Michelle, that Hedberg line went through my mind 1 million times in Las Vegas last week. And not even from the hooker t-shirt people, who skeeve me mightily.
Prostitution is said to be the oldest profession in the world – no wonder there’s a lesson or two to be learned about marketing from these good, hard working people:)
Great post. From now on I’ll be calling it the “Hooker Speech” instead of the “Elevator Speech” :-)
Oh Lordy, am I behind or what? It is pretty sad that this is the first time I even thought of having an “elevator (hooker) speach”. Someone needs to light a fire under my ass!
I frequent Las Vegas twice a year. And the one thing that I can’t stand is those pamphlet handlers – both the people who hand it out and their pamphlets. I keep thinking that if I were mayor or in some authority in Vegas, that’d be the first thing I’d clean the hell out. It destroys the notion of class, style, and really messes with my free space as I am walking. Prostitution can exist for all I care, but not in my face, and God, maybe in a little more style. However, point well taken – clarity, brevity, and intention make for a good elevator pitch! And we sure as heck like to deliver we bloggers add more value than say a hooker, but it’s in the eyes of the beholder, I suppose :)!
The pamphlet “hander-outers” are like headlines to me – hard to ignore when they get in your face. And the last time I was in LV they would walk right up to you and stand in your path.
They remind me of the daytime TV talk shows – people watch them because what comes out of the guests’ mouths are headlines. For some stupid reason it seems harder to turn off the TV when drama is happening.
Amazingly enough, I actually now”get” what a USP is. This was a perfect example. Thanks!
Dang-It Naomi! You just put a WHOLE BUNCH of perspective into my marketing knowledge! Very good comparison. Now I have to figure out a good slogan. I guess I’ll be playing with seven word streams now! Thanks!
Isn’t it funny how the universe works? I read your post and what does the newspaper come wrapped in this morning? An ad for Oakton Community College in the Chicago suburbs.
“Stay close. Go far.”
Indeed.
Even though my USP is 9 words, it speaks volumes about the work I do as a Virtual Assistant.
“You can do anything, you just can’t do everything”
Thanks Naomi.
Genius, genius post.
Naomi – I think you’re on to something, but you’re missing another point. I’d argue the main reason people take the hooker trading cards is less the elevator pitch and more out of human nature (and not the kind you are thinking).
Why do they wear the bright t-shirts and flick the cards? To get your attention. You are walking down the strip thinking about whatever and you hear that sound. You look to see where it came from and bang, they’ve broke your pattern and you’ve made eye contact. Not only that, you’ve made eye contact with someone who probably looks less fortunate than you who is now handing you something.
You’re embarrassed. “Oh my god, I’m looking at a homeless bum… No wait… Oh my god, this has something to do with hookers and they’ve sucked me into this situation. Make this stop!”
I think this pattern break is so powerful that we’ll do whatever to make it go away. “They’re handing me something, maybe if I take I can go back to my own business. Everyone else is taking one, they must be safe and they stopped bothering that person.”
So Jane from Des Moines takes it and two steps later is starting at Candi’s Star Tits.
Yes their USP is good, but I don’t think even 25% of the people that take the cards with the thought “20mins? Damn, that’s fast!”
BTW – I’m with Farnoosh – I don’t know why they let these people keep doing it, if for anything the fact that most people throw the cards on the ground five steps later.
I wonder if they have a guarantee like pizza hut … if the hooker isn’t delivered within 20 minutes, the nookie is free. That kind of thing.
nail on the head!
Clearest statement of truth, ever:
(I don’t care who you are, you don’t do more shit for more people than a hooker in Vegas, honey.)
Oh Naomi – I love those pamphlets. I collect them like baseball cards and have to say that the ’07 lineup was particularly strong. I hate baseball but I have a soft spot for hookers. They’re professionals, they work hard and they know how to play the game. The only thing I don’t really want to know is their stats.
Maybe it’s sleazy and intrusive to some, but it does get the message out. And isn’t that the goal of every marketer (minus the sleazy for a very few)?
P.S. I guarantee you that a woman stopping and asking to compare cards makes the handers more uncomfortable than they could ever make the average housewife from Des Moines feel.
Dang, Naomi, you have such high standards! I’ve been telling people for years that if they can’t tell me what their business is, in 25 words or less, it won’t succeed. Seven? Harsh, lady, harsh!
Seriously, thanks for reminding me in such an entertaining way that I need to rework my homepage. Again.
“The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.” – German proverb
Damn, that was a great post, Naomi! I’ll take you up on that 7-word challenge too!
I sell timeshare access to my business brain.
(And at pricepoints to fit every budget from $0 to $500K — depending on how much square footage you need heheh!)
Why would anyone want to buy that? (It’s a fair question for sure!)
Because consulting with me opens your eyes to ideas and business opportunities you don’t already have, because I’ll share critical insights and perspectives you can’t see, and because you’ll experience results you otherwise wouldn’t produce and possibly don’t even know you’re capable of. (You will, in fact, amaze yourself with what you can do and how far you can go!)
I have the best job in the world. Been doing this work for 30 years now. Never a boring moment! I am humbled and grateful for every opportunity I’ve been give to serve.
Now, if only I could write as engagingly as you do, Naomi! What bliss. Clearly I need more practice in that area… thanks for inspiring me to up my game in that department!
7 words? Hokay.
“Web Zero to Web Hero in 1 Weekend”
Hmmmm… “I paint children’s faces at parties!”
6 words and it IS what I do. Is it marketing-worthy?