Oct
01
An Itemized List Of All The Shit You Don’t Know
Yesterday, Jamie and I went to the drugstore. Among other shockingly overpriced items, we bought razor blades. I’m in cosmetics and Jamie’s in razors and he crosses the store to find me.
“Did you get them?” says I.
“I did. Guess how much they cost,” says he.
I pause to consider the factors. We’re in a rich neighbourhood, it’s a boutique drugstore, and we’re buying the new Gillette five-blade extravaganzas.
“Twenty-one dollars.” I shoot high, smug in the knowledge that he will be a little bit sad, having tried to shock me but failing.
“You are so wrong. Wanna guess again?” The smugness torch has been passed.
“No.” I say.
“Fine. Thirty-three.”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I say.
“Jesus fucking Cwist!” says Jack.
Upon our return to Canada this summer, Jamie and I both decided to try these new razors. (In Canada, there’s this crazy thing called sunshine, which you don’t find in England. That made shaving my legs seem like something clever to do, instead of the adult woman’s version of a 14-year-old hiding a Trojan in his wallet, just in case. And yes, in my opinion, the five blade extravaganzas are much better, even than the Mach 3.)
Luckily, Jamie is now the only person in this house who buys razor blades. I have finally come to the realization that so much hair grows on my body that continuing to shave would be ecologically unsound. Our $33 will last about four months for him.
My father, on the other hand, shaves with a generic single-blade disposable. He has been clean-shaven since I was a kid, and he always looks good. I don’t remember ever seeing him with a nick. When I have tried to use my father’s razors, my legs look like they’ve been through the rough edge of a grater. It’s hideous. And painful. And hideous. And painful.
I look at my father’s razor blades and think, “For God’s sake, man, love yourself.”
My father looks at my razor blades and thinks, “I have never seen such a waste of money in my life.”
Who’s right? Neither.
His blades work for him. My blades work for me.
And here comes… the point!
You don’t know what people want until you ask them. Lots of them. Lots and lots and lots of them.
Saying, “Nobody would pay $33 for razor blades” is stupid and narrow-minded.
Saying, “Nobody uses single-blades anymore” is also stupid and narrow-minded.
Bonus point:
Don’t say, “Jesus fucking Christ” in front of your kid in public.
Bonus bonus point:
Don’t say, “Jesus fucking Christ” in front of your kid private, ’cause you can bet he’ll try it out in public.
@ Drew — Yes, but then we could loudly blame someone else.
I had a discussion with a guy recently where he was really upset about how much counseling services cost. His impression was that therapists made $250K/year, and I was like “on what planet are they doing that, and how can I hitch a ride there?”
Doing what works is definitely part of the theme here. If spending the money works, and you find value (like with the Ittybiz Speakeasy for example) then its totally worth it. If saving money works, even if you work a little harder for it, if you find value there, then so be it.
You just have to be there to give people what works when they need it.
Once, my mom and I were play-fighting in a crowded grocery store. Dru, about 3 years old, pipes up from the cart, “If you hurt Mommy, I’m gonna KICK YOUR ASS!” at the top of his very young lungs.
Everyone in the store gave me the you-are-a-horrible-mother look. At least, Mom said they did. I was too busy laughing to notice. (;
You’ll be happy to know that the good razors cost that much over here too and in my opinion they’re worth every cent. And my hubby buys the single blades, 32 in a pack, for around $10. Lasts him six months or more.
It comes down to horses for courses. We tend to think that our clients want the same as we do – and they don’t. What we like/need/use they may hate.
Ha ha ha Kyeli! Go Dru.
I get the razor blades that have shaving cream already attached to them, because there is no end to my decadence.
Gillette and Shick have a total monopoly on razors in Canada. I know it’s not the point of the post, but man it pisses me off. :p
You’re right that you don’t know until you ask, but also charging a ridiculous sum will scare of certain really cautious shoppers like. . .me. I’m the person who stands in front of the razors and asks over and over does the cost outweigh the benefits. How many razors per pack? Which razor has more aloe? Why do I need aloe? ad infinitum. . .
Think of different price points for cautious people like me who need to step into the big thing slowly.
Don’t say “Jesus Fucking Christ” in front of your kid in public….
Unless it’s ‘International Blasphemy Day!’ Woohoo! You were celebrating it, and didn’t even know it – kudos to you! Mwahahaha!
http://www.blasphemyday.com/
@ Martin — OMG, how did I not know about that? Isn’t that what I pay Megan for? To tell me about things like this? Duly tweeted, albeit late.
I’m going to abbreviate it to JFC. Kind of like KFC, but with 100% added blasphemy.
I loved this whole post, but especially; “You are so wrong. Wanna guess again?” The smugness torch has been passed.
Every time I try to pass the smugness torch, I get burned – usually by my teenagers.
Hi Naomi. That’s a really good point. I think the deciding factor in whether an otherwise ordinary person can just kick ass, is their ability taking these otherwise ordinary experiences and turning them into something that makes sense and maybe helps some people get a little closer to whatever it is what they’re trying to accomplish. Yeah, it’s probably stupid to pay $33 for some razors, and it really sucks when you realize that’s your only choice since you decided to buy the best damn razor made… but instead of turning that into just a moment of suck-fest, or just shrugging it off as another expense, you take the opportunity to make it something relevant – to more than just yourself.
Now, excuse me, cause i’m probably about to go spend 100 bucks on your marketing school that i should probably spend on some jewelry for my GF, who’s gone neglected for a bit…. i trust it’ll amount to something bigger than myself – something that helps me help other people achieve more of whatever it is they’re trying to achieve… cheers