EDITED FEBRUARY 1ST: Due to the alarming generosity and understanding of Mr. Dave Navarro, How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook is also on half price. Details are below.

I recently received an email asking if I would ever use a semicolon under any circumstances. (For why this email came, read the topless post.) In answer to that question, I have put one in the title of this post. I’m fairly certain I have used it incorrectly, which is good because that is all the evil and morally vacant semicolon deserves.

Moving on, it’s Jamie’s and my five year anniversary. Customarily, you should be giving me a gift of wood. With the cost of shipping rising prohibitively, we can pretend that you really wanted to and you’ll give me some next time you see me.

In the meantime, we’re having a really big sale.

There are a lot of companies that don’t believe in sales. They believe that sales diminish the value of the products and that they are more trouble than they’re worth. Clearly, we’re not one of those companies.

From now until February 5th, everything we have is on sale. Yes, even OBS.

Brainstorming/Consulting is $150 instead of $250.

SEO School is $19 instead of $39. (Use the coupon code “wood”, without the quotes.)

Marketing 101 is $94 instead of $188.

Online Business School is $197 instead of $397. (Use the coupon code “wood”, without the quotes.)

How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook (my newest sexy project with launch coach extraordinaire Dave Navarro) is $47 instead of $97. (The price on the page still says $97, but when you go to buy it, the updated price is reflected at checkout.)

Yup. That’s a whole buncha half off.

Your Rights And Responsibilities:

You have the right to really cheap stuff. You have the right to tell all your friends. You have the right to not tell all your friends so you can gloat later.

You have the responsibility to not email me complaining that we don’t yet have a cart function where you can buy everything all at once.

It is my anniversary, for God’s sake. I don’t have time. I should be having sex in a pile of dirty money right now.

Anyway, happy anniversary to us. Our relationship has now lasted two thirds the lifespan of the average refrigerator. Hurray!

Oh, and one more thing. If you were on the top secret and exclusive Advance Discount List, you’d already know about this. Just saying.