Jan
22
Ask IttyBiz: Buzz Cuts, England, Comments and Ducks
Every now and again, when I’m feeling too cocky about being The Greatest And Funniest Marketer In Christendom, I like to read some of my emails to make me realize exactly how badly I communicate with my blog readers. If you are an aspiring marketing consultant or world famous blogger, I recommend this on a regular basis.
Therefore, some questions from my inbox. I only include ones I’ve received more than once.
Havi has a duck. Why don’t you have a duck?
First of all, I have publicly stated that Havi’s duck is a whore. You can tell by the look on her face. I can’t speak for Havi, but I’m not the type of girl to have a whore for a sidekick. If anybody in this business is going to be a whore, it’s going to be me.
Secondly, I don’t need a duck. I have a shaved head. Which leads us to…
Why do you have a shaved head? It’s weird/ugly/pretty/brazen/sexy!
My public answer: because I’m really fucking lazy.
My actual answer: I have Buddhist tendencies. Not only do I sort of think that if I zen out enough I can be Pema Chodron, but I also think it’s not healthy to obsess over your hair. And I spent a lot of my life thinking about whether I should cut it or dye it or grow it out or get a perm or whatever. Finally I decided that if I spent as much time thinking about my business as I did about my hair, I’d be a far richer woman.
Plus, I’m really fucking lazy.
Why did you move to England?
My mother lives in England. I suffer from depression which worsens in winter. It’s easier and cheaper to travel. (Well, other than traveling to places like Manitoba and Detroit.) My husband was born here. Those are all good and true reasons, but there was another more personal one.
Throughout my very young life — I say, at all of 27 and yes, I see the irony — I told myself that I wouldn’t buy a house unless I could afford to buy it in cash. (This is a very convenient way to avoid thinking about settling down and buying a house and I recommend it to anyone.) This was all well and good when I was poor.
But then our financial situation changed and I realized I was in a position where I could actually start seriously thinking about buying a house in cash. And I looked around and said, “Holy shit! I don’t want to pay two hundred grand to live here for the rest of my life!”
So we moved to England where nobody can afford to buy a house. Now I don’t have to think about it anymore.
Why don’t you have comments on your blog?
You can read this post for the initial explanation in all its ranty, furious, pissed off glory, but I’m guessing you’re looking for more? (My initial reasoning still stands, by the way.)
At the time of that writing, comments here were getting ridiculous. It was not uncommon to get more than 75 comments per post, and for a long time I was writing five days a week. It was almost completely unmanageable.
A lot of people were really angry about that post. People saw “meaningless conversations” and they thought I was talking about them as an individual. Unfortunately, the fifty people leaving awesome comments were drowned out by the five hundred people leaving shitty ones. So it goes, sometimes.
Several other bloggers wrote about this, and there were a lot of comments from people with very small blogs — ones with no business attached, and run by either students or unemployed people — saying that they cherished and responded to every single comment and that I was basically a big, fat, disgusting sell-out.
I run a pretty big little business here. At that time, I did not have staff. I was absolutely drowning in work. I was going to bed crying, only to get up and go back to work four hours later. I would go days without seeing my kid. Something had to give, and it was comments.
In the intervening period, I’ve hired some staff and things aren’t so crazy anymore. (Transatlantic move notwithstanding.) And I’ve given a lot of thought to the idea of reinstating comments. People ask me to do it a lot. But then there’s the other reason, one that nobody really needs to know but I’ll tell you anyway.
When you’re used to huge amounts of validation from strangers in your comments, it’s easy to get addicted to that. It’s easy to get your self-esteem from it. And it’s easy to feel really shitty when you only get sixty comments. (Yes, I’m well aware how ridiculous that sentence was to type. I’m trying to be honest here.) And I was going into my comments every time I wrote something I thought was good, over and over, thinking, “Did James come? Bob? Havi? Brian? What about Michael?” And it was really fucking unhealthy.
When you start basing your worth as a person on what people say in your blog comments, something’s got to change.
So yes. I will open up comments every now and again — like on this post — when it’s relevant or helpful or if I’m feeling like shooting the shit. But as it stands right now, no. I’m not opening them back up on a regular basis.
Why do you charge what you charge?
When I started consulting in small chunks — at the beginning it was two hours at a time — I thought that I was doing a favour for the little guy. Make it super cheap, I thought, and all the broke people will be able to hire me and I will win the Socialist Business Owner of the Year award. But the people who were hiring me at $50 an hour were not IttyBiz’s that couldn’t afford higher rates. They were high end professionals who liked scoring a deal.
People looking for a deal are NEVER happy. Never. Brand this into your brain.
I had web designers and wedding photographers and e-commerce store owners clearing more than ten thousand American dollars a month telling me they didn’t get their fifty bucks worth. Fuck that.
Plus it cuts down on the wait list.
Are you really going to be topless in Marketing 101?
If I told you that, you wouldn’t sign up. Jesus — do you think people are here for my brain?
When is SEO School going back on the market?
It’s been back on the market since September. In my efforts not to pimp it out so much, I tried to not make TOO big a deal about it. In so doing, it would appear that half the people reading this blog have no idea it’s available. Go here if you’re interested. Or click through to the site and click on the ninja.
Why is there no price on the SEO School page?
Because I forgot. It’s $39, by the way.
Can you charge in Canadian dollars/Australian dollars/pounds/euros?
No. As long as 80% of my customers are American, I’m charging in American dollars.
Are you really homeschooling your kid?
Yes. I reserve the right to change my mind when he turns four and starts asking questions neither Jamie nor I can answer.
Is your other kid really a Mormon who lives with your ex’s parents?
I couldn’t make that shit up if I tried, people.
Anyway, that’s me done. If you have questions or just want to hang out and chat, feel free to jump in. I’ll be around pretty much all day.
Fracking hilarious as always…
The two best things for me – the hair, I tell you, I’ve been tempted to do that once in a while, and at the same time grow a beard because I hate shaving (wouldn’t that look lovely, a shaved head and a full beard?) – and moving to England, now not having to worry about buying a house… perfect.
(That’s what I’ve said to my wife about a move to New Zealand, she says “but we’ll never be able to afford to buy a house” – good! That means we can move if we want to move without having to sell the damned thing…)
PS – that boy is just so happy – good job Mom.
@ Brett — Equity is so highly over-rated. How are your hundreds of children, by the way?
Oh, and he’s happy because I get him high. It’s very simple, really. :)
Re: “People looking for a deal are NEVER happy. Never. Brand this into your brain.”
Kinda true. Just sayin’…
Alright…I’m off to grab me some coffee. I’ll check in in a bit.
Naomi, the hair thing is so, so true! I was just telling my husband the other day that I use 5 different products on my hair each morning (shampoo, conditioner, gel, putty, and spray). Isn’t that just crazy? Of course, he thought it was even more crazy because he is bald.
Thanks too for the great info on pricing. I’m slowly upping my rates so that I am attracting the right kind of clients. Good stuff to keep in mind.
The thing is, you give people a deal and then they just want more. And they’re passionate in their pursuit to the point that it becomes abusive and you end up working for free if you give in.
“Free” isn’t exactly the kinda salary you make a comfortable living off of. :-)
@Naomi,
Oh, I agree 1000 percent (as a homeowner in a small Ontario town who’s trying to sell the place before the market totally tanks…)
The gang is great! All are in school now, and I’m also teaching them life-skills (right now they’re learning to raid rich old people’s homes at night with pointed sticks…) but seriously I’m just keeping them smiling the way you do :)
With persistence we’ll be happy renters ourselves in a much warmer climate in the not too distant future – I’ve seen far too many winters…
That kid is awesome. He looks like a little stinker. (a fun one tho)
And your hair? Awesome. My mom has an almost-buzz cut and I’m considering the same.
Man, I’m running out of adjectives. Everything is awesome here.
English accents? Awesome.
@ Ricardo — Hey! Nice to see you here, too! Yeah, people looking for super cheap pretty much suck. It’s kinda sad that I can’t find a way to fairly cut prices for nice people and tell the assholes to fuck off. If anyone has suggestions on this, I’d love to hear them. :)
@ Avonelle — Sometimes I think about growing it, specifically so I CAN use putty. And not just ’cause it’s a cool word, either. But I feel like Brad Pitt when I have puttied Fight Club hair and I love it. But then I remind myself that if I putty it, I have to, you know, wash it.
@ Brett — Just remember to make it really clear that it’s only the old people they’re allowed to rob. Teach them to prey on the weak. Safer that way.
@ Andrea — Awesome. But I feel kind of poserish when I slip into an English accent. I feel like Jamie’s looking at me all, “You aren’t fooling anybody.”
Love your stuff. If I call in for Marketing 101 can I be topless too (wait, maybe everyone else would hang up, better not!)
FYI: I home schooled my kid until at 4 years old he started getting frustrated that he couldn’t calculate the square root of 13 so I sent him to school where he has been unhappily bored ever since.
He’s in gr. 7 now and apparently wants his math teacher to show him how to use trig tables.
@Naomi,
I’ve been using flash cards to imprint the images in their little minds, and we’ve got maps up on the walls to show them which parts of town to target first heh heh
Heck, if there’s a way I’m all ears too! There’s always that one customer, that one client, that’s great and you want to do good for by cutting your price (and then maybe some more). But there has to be a floor and you have to stand your ground. If you don’t, it often times opens the door to being taken advantage of and that really sucks.
But that’s just my opinion. What do you say/think?
Chica!
Good to see the comments up for a while. I completely understand how you feel. When you’re a beginning blogger, comments are SO FANTASTIC to have, but unfortunately, they don’t scale. :-( When you have multiple posts on multiple blogs and each one of them gets ten comments … it puts you in the position where you can either manage your comments, or manage your business.
So for anyone who has an issue with closed comments, please understand, it’s not that the blogger is insensitive. It’s that the blogger is trying to focus on generating even more awesome stuff for the people who dig the stuff they’ve already made.
Keep rockin’ Naomi!
James comes. James misses you very, very much. (Proof? Because I’m getting all teary-eyed over a stupid little comment like this one. Jesus.)
But also, James hopes you and his Rival, the Other James in Your Life, are happier where you are and that one day, you’ll maybe come stay in Quebec for a day or three.
So if Havi’s duck is a whore and you’re the only one who should have a whore as a sidekick, why don’t you just find a bigger whore for a sidekick?
I mean seriously, how much action can one little rubber duck really get?
@ Jacki — I hear that SO much with kids who used to be homeschooled. They think school is all about lockers and cafeterias and then they realize how mind-numbingly boring it is compared to being at home. Not all, for sure, but I hear it happens a lot.
And you can totally be topless. We’re a very topless friendly group around here.
@ Brett — See? This is what a degree in nuclear engineering will get you. Good stuff. I’m glad to see you’re taking it seriously.
@ Ricardo — We need scholarships. Somebody think of a scalable and manageable way for me to offer scholarships. The gauntlet has been thrown.
@ Dave — Thank you! Why couldn’t I have said it that well?
@ James — When you can find me a month that meets the following needs, we will visit you. Even without the baby, if you’re lucky:
1. No snow.
2. No bugs.
3. Your kids are in school. Boarding school would be even better, if you can swing it.
Hi Naomi
I have lurked on your site for too long but now you have given me two things to comment on so I must.
The first is the obvious fact that with the property market in the UK disappearing up it’s own behind you may find yourself in a position to afford a house far more quickly than you think. So move again.
Secondly, and more seriously, home education in the UK is currently under attack from the government. By making false allegations regarding child abuse, forced marriage etc. etc. the state is attempting to force parents to place their kids in school. Friction between the HE community and the government has been ongoing, after all we are a little different, but this is far more serious.
You are a communications and marketing genius, you now have staff, you love a challenge and I am sure you would love to help your new community so please get involved. :-D
Go here to start: http://www.home-education.org.uk/ or join this Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=45453211491
Take a look at this video from Mike Fortune-Wood an expert on HE in the UK: http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=52831686509&h=cis0w&u=yISqX
We home educated in the UK for 5 years before moving over here to sunny Florida and I would like my kids to have the same rights as I did.
You have skills Naomi and these people could use them. (Not that I am twisting your arm or anything.) Take a look and see if you can help. If you need some introductions, let me know.
Cheers
Mike
@ Christy — You underestimate the duck in question. I’ve heard stories. And I don’t want a whore for a sidekick. There is no room for two whores in this business. I AM THE ONLY WHORE WHO MATTERS.
@Naomi,
Exactly… since my degree is *not being used here* :)
And yeah, keep your eyes on the duck. Do not take your eyes off the duck.
Ah, sorry. Misunderstood. Thought you were expressing jealousy of Selma’s whore credentials. My bad.
And it’s not so much underestimating the duck in question; it’s more about correctly estimating you as the Power Whore.
I remember a miiiiiillion years ago (April), you came across my little WordPress.com blog and made a nice comment – Clay Collins, too. It was pretty much the weirdest day ever. Now, I’ve gone and graduated from uni, and you and Clay have gone on to become rich and internet-famous lol. I missed something in the air back then ;)
Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for writing this. I’ve always wondered about the shaved head, and I dig your reasoning: I’ve done the same thing myself a couple of times, aaaaaand inevitably grown it back…usually for girls…I didn’t say I was proud. It DOES make for the easiest/fastest showers ever, though.
Still working my way through SEO School and Online Business School when I can get away from my real-world job. If I’m not living in Maui by this time next year, I hope in your next post like this you’ll call me out on it :)
Thanks for the encouragement. – Jeff
@ Brett — In future, when I run courses with Havi, I will personally send an email to all participants warning them exactly that. Do not take your eyes off the duck.
@ Christy — Ah. I see. The relative powers of the duck. In which case, yes. She is nothing. A blip on the whore radar.
Ah, the hair! I’ve gotten those comments/questions off and on over the years. Of course, I live in Maine where the diaspora of the Bouffant People still cling to existence. These are people who are now having to choose between gas for the snowmobile or that case of Aqua Net hairspray to get them through the winter. Long way of saying rock the buzz cut and screw the haters. Which you were doing anyway.
“People looking for a deal are NEVER happy.” Amen. I’ll add to that: “Free just isn’t good enough.” Don’t ask me how I know this.
Still insanely jealous of your move. I’ll get over it. Because you rock!
Have you got used to us Brits constantly talking about the weather yet? :)
I bought online business school and it is excellent, it was worth the download price for one nugget of info:
“Most people have never bought your service, tell them how to work with you”.
Cheers for that
Hi Naomi,
I never got to be a part of your comment validation/problem, but I’m glad I can give you a shout out now. I think you are absolutely wonderful and my wife adores you as well. I totally understand what you’re saying about comments. A few months back, my tiny little blog was averaging sixty comments a post. When I would only get forty, I would wonder if I was slipping. TOTALLY STUPID and rather unhealthy, as you said. I also soon realized that just because someone is willing to throw down a digital high-five in the downstairs of your blog, doesn’t mean that they’re willing to validate you with a dollar. I haven’t closed my comments, but I don’t feed the hungry alligator like I used to. I’m glad the comments are open today, even if it’s just long enough to say
thanks.
Glad you figured out that incestuous round-robin commenting is how we all prop up our teetering, fragile egos. :)
I buzz my hair for the same reasons, but nobody questions it cuz I’m a guy. Sinead O’Connor kind of ruined it for women, but whatever.
What I really like about what I’m reading here (other than the marketing gems) is that you’re trying to get your inner game right, which leads to the outer game begin right.
Awesome.
I am a recent follower/disciple/junkie/stalker of Ittybiz and squeed myself when I saw that I could leave a comment today (For no reason other than the exercise of leaving comments). I will be selling one of my dogs’ kidney’s on the black market to attend Marketing 101, which I obviously need desperately else I wouldn’t be having to resort to selling dog kidney(s).
@ Liz — I think, though, if I ever decide to ditch the buzz, it’s going to be in favour of the bouffant. Go big or go home, you know? And, yeah. When you’re used to snow, this is fucking tropical.
@ Neil — Hey! I’m glad you dug it! And what I find funny (I almost typed funny as “foney” — huh?) about the weather talk is how they always think it’s so bad. I’m like, “You and me. Canada. One week. That’ll learn ya.”
@ Writer Dad — Hey again! Long time no talk! (Look what happens when you close your comments. Who knew?) Yeah, it was crazy for a while there and it’s true — you start getting all, “What, do I suck now?” And the ironic thing is, the better the post, the less likely people are to comment. I tell stupid stories about the shit I do when I’m drunk and 100 people come. I write the best business advice I’ve got and people have nothing to add, so I get 7. And it starts to fuck you up, you know?
@ MM — Well fucking said, dude. And I love your hair. I also love your toque, so it’s always good. :)
@ Ang — Talk to Brett. (See above.) He will teach you how to steal other people’s dogs so you can sell their kidneys instead. And it’s great to have you here! There are only so many times I can squeeze money out of long time readers before we start needing some fresh blood.
Did I say that out loud?
You continue to be awesome – when’s the book coming out? :) And you’ve had quite a life for one so young – your determination, strenth and drive is more inspiring than you might realize (Indulge me some hero worship). And screw what people say about your hair. I’m 2 steps away from shaving off my unruly main myself, but vanity is a powerful detterent (sigh).
Thanks for the brutal truth and wake-up call about comments. Shouldn’t we all worry more about page views than comments? It’s who you touch (and that you touch them) that matters, not the pats on the back they might deliver in return. Sure, validation is nice, but it’s nicer to know someone is reading. f(Even if they’re not, you ultimately write for yourself and just keep going).
My comment quantities and readership (as far as I know) both suck by even modest standards, BUT I’m just starting out and I’ve learned a valuable lesson. You never know who you might reach, and all it takes is one to change the course of the world. And that’s how it’s done, one at a time. I’d rather have one reader/client fully 100% dedicated to living and being the change in the world than 100,000 armchair bystanders.
Great point about people looking for a deal. Excellent point.
And I love your house-buying reason for moving to England. Though, personally, I find the law around renting in England so anti-tenant that it is really annoying to rent there. I think it makes more sense to rent here than there, just because you have actual rights and longer term security and all that. The rental market in England sucks. But hey, that’s me.
Glad your business is doing so well.
@ Karen — Hey! Welcome! And the one definitively beautiful thing about buzz cuts is that you can never again wonder what life would be like if you shaved the whole thing off.
I really liked your inauguration thing, btw. Haven’t we all wondered when our Kennedy would come?
I come to the business blog to talk about hair, who knew? I agree with your philosophy of life’s too short to be a hair whore! I’ve stopped coloring mine so I have a 3″ gray stripe on the top of my head which when pulled back makes for some pretty cool stripes. I’m going to do baby dreads & when I get tired of that or if I hate it, then I’m going to shave my head & be back to virgin hair, no longer in bondage. Every time I’m tempted to color, I think “I don’t have time, I have a life to live.”
@ JoVE — Luckily, I have yet to be a victim of medieval rental laws, but I’ll definitely keep your words in mind. Note to self: read landlord/tenant laws before moving in future. (And am I the only one who thinks the word “landlord” to be absolutely barbaric?)
@ simplicitymom — Exactly. Sometimes we just can’t talk about marketing anymore. Sometimes it comes down to what really matters, you know?
I love your stripe, though. When you think about it, there are a lot of people spending good money to have their hair come out striped. :)
Damn Naomi, you always inspire me to be more naked in my blogging. I don’t know where you get your courage, but it’s pretty f’in awesome.
*undoes shirt button*
Naomi,
Your posts are pure refreshment :) Thank you.
From Dublin.
Conor
I have already cut off all my hair. It is now finally grown back. I wash it, comb it, and let it hang. I have found that short hair makes people think I’m a lesbian, but long hair gets in the way when I give bjs. I’m just saying that irony is having a day with this one.
On the other hand, it’s pretty sexy. And I need WAY fewer haircuts when have long hair, and short hair actually took longer to style. So I think I save more time with the long stuff. ‘Course, I have great hair, and clearly yours needed massive attention before it wouldn’t frighten small children in the street.
@ Jeff — How in the hell did I miss your comment the first eighty-seven times I’ve been here? WTF? I remember that comment — thanks for sticking around so long! I promise I’ll talk loud, nasty shit about you if your Maui plans don’t come to fruition. Because I’m awesome like that.
@ Jonathan — Hey! Speaking of famous people. How’s life of the newly e-published?
@ Conor — My pleasure, my dear. I’m going to Dublin tomorrow. I will totally wave. I will also try to be one of those annoying people who goes up to strangers in pubs and says, “I know this guy? Conor? And he, um, lives here? Do you know him?”
I know it’s more effective if you tell someone from Belfast that you have a cousin in Dublin, but I’m doing the best I can here.
Thank for letting us (my daughter and I) know why you moved. We were worried something really bad had happened. I would love the chance to live in a foreign country for awhile. Do they still sing in the pubs (over Fish and Chips?) Good luck and it’s nice that you have your mom around.
@ Tei — Good comment except for the fact that we know you’re lying. We know this because nobody with such an unmatched level of sexual purity would even know what BJ stood for.
@ Diana — Thanks for thinking of us, sweetie. No worries, we’re fine. And yes. They still sing.
Ah, yes. Sexual Purity. That’s my Indian name, don’tcha know.
@ Tei — Um. Yes. I’d heard that.
I’m pretty sure that in England, landlords get to have marital relations with Jack before his bride does on his wedding night. So you should probably move to Denver right away. It’s 70 degrees here this week (no idea what that is in wacky canadian degrees). Even our snow is superior. We sell it by the cubic buttload to Californians and Texans.
Dang it’s nice to have an open Ittybiz comment topic. Ahhhhhhhh.
Word travels quick… damnit.
epublishing is treating me well. Sales burning steady.
You said questions are welcome… so here goes. Why does your “other son” live with his ex’s parents and not you? Just being nosy for the sake of it.
Equity, schmequity. I’d move to England for Wispas and Hob Nobs. Also, you can now pronounce bastard “bahstahd.” And say “shite.” It’s all win-win, really.
Naomi, I really admire you for picking up and moving like that. Think about doing that, too, sometimes. Of course, right now, we’re tied down by this house. Sigh.
I must say, though, that while I loved visiting Scotland and Ireland, if I’m to expatriate myself and my family, it would have to be somewhere more tropical. Costa Rica, maybe.
Hair. Yeah. I started shaving my head for the same reason all men do: I was going bald anyway. (91.4% of men who say otherwise are LYING.) (Also, 86.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot.)
@Brett – Beards are not for the lazy. You’re just extending the hair care to your face. Unless you’d be going for the Grizzly Adams/Crazy Recluse look. Then knock yourself out.
@Matt,
Yeah, that was kind of the idea. Then again, if I let the beard go, I’d might as well let my hair grow long for the full Viking look :)
(Hmm, not a bad idea – might tie in with my blog a bit.)
Naomi my love,
What’s really, really sad, is how much I miss commenting here.
And that now I have to read the post thoroughly, or I’ll miss the fact that the golden door is open for a glittering moment. I can’t just come over and assume I get to start sayin’ how much you rock and how much all the other folks comments rock.
I have to work for it. For effing months. Watching them golden doors.
Um, good post.
;)
Regards,
Kelly
@ Sonia — Now, there’s always the marry-him-off-to-the-landlord option. At least I’ll know he’s marrying money.
@ Jonathan — My ex and I divorced when Michael was two. He went to live with my ex because that’s what made the most sense from a child care standpoint at the time. (Ex was living with his parents then.)
Ex went off to Calgary — land of milk and honey in Canada these days — so M was with Ex’s parents. Now he’s nine and it didn’t make sense to take him away from the family he knows for no good reason. So he lives there. Good question. And right on with the ebook. Keep kicking ass.
@ Heidi — Can someone please confirm if Hobnobs are any different than digestive biscuits covered in chocolate? Because I was looking at them in the shop the other day and I have to say, they look pretty much the same to me. [waits for SWAT team to bust down door and lock me up for breaking Hobnob Act Of 2003.]
@ Matt — Jamie voted for Costa Rica! I’d need more than a few stiff drinks to ready myself for the HOLY BUGS BATMAN!
@ Kelly — OK. Fine. I’ll be honest. I took comments off the blog to increase my page views. I figured I could get everybody to click through from their reader on every post, just to see if they could comment. :) Nice to have you, sweetie. I’ve missed you, too.
@Naomi “HOLY BUGS BATMAN!” Well, there is that.
NAOMI, YOU ROCK!!! I think your wit, and this blog is fabulous. You just ‘get it’ and I love your attitude about life and business.
Anyway,
Bald=Sexy
Anyone who doesn’t know that can kick rocks.
Lastly, Seth Godin turned off his comments a long time ago. That’s what happens when you rock the world with knowledge. Everybody can’t handle it, and it comes back at you in some of the worst ways.
Hell, I know I want that kind of success.
Somehow I missed Tei’s BJ comment earlier. That was a pretty high quality trashy comment, I feel.
Heids has a good point about “shite.” Maybe I will start saying “shite.” I can pretend I am Stephen Fry, who I secretly long to be. Only svelte and still a girl. Woman. Womyn. Whatever.
Naomi, I wondered about the comments because obviously I missed that post when I was on holiday (I delete everything – keeps me sane).
I also wanted to ask about the move to England (since you were so nice in the email) especially since all I hear is that the UK is so cold (certainly was when we visited) but thanks for clarifying in the comments that Canada is colder. And SNOW!
@ styleosophy — Thank you! I also think that if you want a career in marketing and you want to write lots and lots of books and make pots and pots of money, it’s important to shave your head. First step, shave head. Next step, take comments off blog. Third step, become Seth Godin. It’s very simple, really.
@ Sonia — I just wanted to let you know that Jamie just found an alarm clock that has Stephen Fry’s voice wake you up. Go here immediately:
http://www.voco.uk.com/
Click on the Stephen Fry one for samples. The one you absolutely cannot live without hearing is the “Oh dear, come come, let us not be defeated…” It will change your life.
@ Marcia — Yes! Delete everything! This is vital to survival in a world with blogs in it. And yes. Canada is much, much colder. And then, in the summer? 100 fucking degrees. There is no excuse for the existence of Canada. The maple syrup does not make up for the indignities the citizens must endure.
The problem with “no comments” is that sometimes people have important things to say there – I often learn more in comments than in posts.
The other thing is that sometimes *I* have something important to say. I forget what it was but a while back you posted something and I realized “Oh, she just needs to know X” – I have NO fricking idea now what X was but it was some geeky thing that people like me know… anyway, if comments weren’t closed I could have posted that and maybe helped you and anyone reading who was also bothered by whatever the heck that was but.. I couldn’t.
So, yeah, I could have sent you email (and maybe I did – I don’t remember) but that’s out of band when I’m reading RSS and going from place to place – I’m not in email MODE so I really don’t wanna tab over there and get distracted.. I just wanna leave the comment!
Just my opinion.. going back to the reader now..
Oh my gods. You WENCH. I totally POSTED that Jeeves was a clock. And now you delete my comment and pretend like you KNEW ALL ALONG? You are heinously evil.
Ho hum. I have better things to do than watch you and Selma duke it out over who’s the bigger whore.
On the other hand, I definitely *don’t* have anything better to do than come over here and leave comments and then rejoice over the fact that you opened up comments and then do a stupid little dance in my office.
Also, I did the buzz cut things for years and loved it even though 1. being called sir is annoying 2. someone thought I was a nazi when I lived in Berlin, 3. I got kicked out of a women’s restroom in Wisconsin (score!).
But I might be lazier than you are because eventually got tired of having to cut it all the time and now I just pile it on top of my head and pretend it isn’t there.
Am I still talking on your whore blog? I’ll stop now.
HobNobs are different than digestives. You are rich. Buy on pack and see. They are worth it. And you have a choice of milk chocolate or dark chocolate. But they are better. Really.
I’m a little late here, I know. But YAY, warm fuzzy comments at Ittybiz! Feels like old times.
**throws arms around laptop screen**
Oh, come on. I know you must get “Why do you swear so much?” a lot. That one begs to be answered.
Of course, I know the answer. Part of it is, “Profanity makes everything funnier.”
The people who say it’s a crutch for the untalented comedians of the world can go fuck themselves.
If I answered why I swear so much NOW, I wouldn’t be able to blog about it LATER.
You have much to learn about problogging, young padawan. :P
Respect.
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