I got a link the other day to a massive resource list of social media tips. (80? I think it was 80.) I will not find it and link to it because I think it was not just stupid, but damaging.

The advice — from social media “experts”, God help us — fell in two categories.

1. Approximately 64 versions of “contribute to the conversation”.

I think we all know what I think about that.

2. “Give really useful tips.”

This got me thinking… if every expert in Christendom is saying this, perhaps there’s something to it.

But, see, personally? I HATE useful tips. HATEHATEHATE. I am on Twitter to waste time and screw around with my peeps. Twitter is not my study group, it’s my water cooler. And if you came up to me out of the blue at the water cooler and gave me a bullet point on how to optimize my email subject lines, I would first ignore you, then avoid you, then punch you in the nose. Read More

One of the questions I get a lot, especially after the Money Calls incident, goes a little something like this:

“I need to make [very high dollar figure] by [date that is alarmingly close to now]. I have [no blog /small blog/ no list/ small list]. I can’t imagine how to even start doing it. Can you help?”

I love this question. The answer is surprisingly simple.

Let’s put in some fake numbers and play it out. Let’s say you need $20,000 and you need it 29 days from today.

The reason most people fail when given a task like this one – and when I say “fail”, I mean a level of fail that is so bad, they may as well have not bothered because they probably managed to LOSE money in the process – is because they try to start making money today. Read More

Naomi is most likely back from her adventures in Ireland now, but we’ve reached the culmination of our countdown and wouldn’t dream of keeping you in the dark about the top post. And so, we present for your reading pleasure and general edification, Post #1 in the Unofficial List of The Top 15 Best / Favorite / Most Popular IttyBiz Posts, which proves that the IttyBiz readers are (a) suckers for adorable pictures of Jack, and (b) as fond of this particular post as we are.

Originally published September 4, 2008

Dearest baby Jack,

On Labour Day, 2000, I was going to school for something I hated and gearing up to divorce your brother’s Daddy.

On Labour Day, 2001, I was living in a homeless shelter and pregnant with a baby boy you’ll never get to meet, although you can trust me that he was pretty awesome while he was here.

On Labour Day, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005, I was getting ready to go back to work after the long weekend. It was a different job each year — all temp — and I hated each with varying degrees of intensity.

But on Labour Day, 2006, you came, and everything was different.

There’s a Bryan Adams song that you will one day hear on oldies radio and cringe, and it says, “Everything I do, I do it for you.” I personally think our pal Bryan is a bit of a poser, but I know how he feels on this one.

Everybody says that when they have a child, it changed their lives forever. This is obviously true, but it’s kind of a dumb thing to say if you ask me. I mean, do you think all these parents were pacing the halls at two in the morning before they had kids? Like, for fun? Because if we’re honest, you and other people in your demographic are a bit of a pain in the ass, frankly. So yeah, kids change lives.

But in your case, you unknowingly changed a lot more lives than just mine.

Between the bedrest and the panic attacks and the dental surgery without anaesthetic and the abject poverty, being pregnant with you was not what it said on the tin. Read More

Naomi is most likely back from her adventures in Ireland now, but because we’re so close revealing the #1 post, our countdown rolls on! Here we present for your reading pleasure and general edification Post #2 in the Unofficial List of The Top 15 Best / Favorite / Most Popular IttyBiz Posts.

Originally published February 20, 2009

Every time you scold your children in public for doing something they get away with at home, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you order a diet Coke simply because there are people around, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you wear control top pantyhose, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you think before answering an interview question, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you clean your dorm room before your mother comes, you are manipulating the truth. Read More

Naomi is in Ireland and mostly away from all things internet, and so we present for your reading pleasure and general edification Post #3 in the Unofficial List of The Top 15 Best / Favorite / Most Popular IttyBiz Posts.

Originally published January 31, 2008

You’re not alone.

I’m typing this in bed, on the new laptop my IttyBiz readers bought me. (By the way? Thanks for that.) To my right, on the floor, on Jamie’s side of the bed, sit two Macintosh computers. They belong to my mother. For those of you who are new, I’ll take this opportunity to mention that my mother moved to Europe in 2005. I have yet to get off my ass to put them in storage. To my left is a floor full of books. They used to live in my busted chipboard bookshelf, but Jack likes to play with them, taking them down and putting them back in an order he feels is more appropriate. The last time he played this game was about 10 days ago. The books are still on the floor. Neither of us can get into bed from the sides, so we come up from the foot. Read More