Johnny’s method for writing about nothing, yet getting paid for something

by Johnny Truant

Monday, February 1st, 2010

A weird revelation occurred to me in December. Around Christmastime, I realized that by the end of the month, I’d have launched 80 or 90 blogs and would have had my best month ever — and by “ever,” I don’t just mean since I’ve been doing this online thing. I meant that it would literally be my best month ever, and by nearly double my previous best month — all from setting up websites and blogs, and doing business consulting.

And at the same time, the most recent post on my blog was a rerun of last year’s “Christmas is Gay.”

Of course, that just seemed like an anomaly, so I looked back.

The post before that was “Cash is King,” about how I’m not going to use credit anymore and will buy literally everything with cash from here on out.

Johnny raises the stakes (and his prices)

by Johnny Truant

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

I’m doing something kind of scary. And for once, “something scary” does not involve putting any part of myself between the jaws of a crocodile.

What I’m doing this time is scary on a mental level. Specifically, I’ve decided to raise my prices. Starting in 2010, this here guy with an apple is going to be more expensive to work with.

Setting prices — and especially upping prices — is an interesting quandary for any fledgling business. When I realized I’d be raising the bar at JBT, Inc., I went through a range of emotions. First I was excited, then nervous, then tired, then giddy, then mentally deficient, then largely reticulated. Then I figured I should write about it for IttyBiz, because IttyBiz readers have faced or will eventually face the same issue.

Johnny Evolves

by Johnny Truant

Monday, October 26th, 2009

I was talking to my new friend Charlie Gilkey the other day, and he put into Southern-accented words something that I’d had a hard time putting my finger on.

When I started my first blog just over a year ago, I spent forever tweaking it and trying to make it perfect. Eventually I just launched the damn thing, but there were plenty of aspects of the site that I didn’t like: The sidebars didn’t have all of my best “callout” items in them, so that people would be certain to see them. My newsletter subscription offer wasn’t strong enough. It took me forever to make the background look right and match perfectly where it met the footer, and I never did get it right. I didn’t like my old “Hire Johnny” page, and I had meant to organize my categories better.

Johnny Talks About Motivation

by Johnny Truant

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

I heard a story a while back that was really awesome, but I forget where I heard it and I forgot the specifics of the whole thing. I’m going to try to tell it anyway. So let’s everyone lean back in our chairs and take a sip of coffee while I fuck up a perfectly good allegory.

A young man hears about a master living high in the mountains, near a large blue lake and a crystal stream, who teaches… I don’t know… kung fu, I guess. Like, this guy is the most super awesome kung fu guy in the world and everyone wants to learn from him because he can catch flies with chopsticks and dodge bullets and become, like, invisible and shit. I mean, he’s better than David Carradine and Remo Williams put together.

How Johnny Exposed Himself

by Johnny Truant

Monday, September 28th, 2009

(Naomi’s note: Hey. I’m on vacation. This shouldn’t affect your life in any way, other than you’ll probably get a faster turnaround on emails since Megan Elizabeth Morris will be dealing with the urgent ones. Also, I’ll post more often, since she’ll be publishing my posts and she doesn’t forget like I do. And we’re making a few announcements this week, and you’ll actually get them in a timely manner. So actually, your life will probably improve markedly.)

So two things dawned on me after my last post ran here on IttyBiz. One, I think Abe Vigoda is dead but am not sure, and that quandary unsettles me. But perhaps more importantly, I should probably make it clear at all times that what you’re seeing when I write here and what you’re seeing a lot of the time when I write elsewhere is a case study. A lot of the time I’m not saying, “this is how it’s done.” I’m saying, “this is what I did.” Then I say, “This movie should really star Abe Vigoda. What? He’s dead? SHIT!”