I heard a story a while back that was really awesome, but I forget where I heard it and I forgot the specifics of the whole thing. I’m going to try to tell it anyway. So let’s everyone lean back in our chairs and take a sip of coffee while I fuck up a perfectly good allegory.

A young man hears about a master living high in the mountains, near a large blue lake and a crystal stream, who teaches… I don’t know… kung fu, I guess. Like, this guy is the most super awesome kung fu guy in the world and everyone wants to learn from him because he can catch flies with chopsticks and dodge bullets and become, like, invisible and shit. I mean, he’s better than David Carradine and Remo Williams put together. Read More

(Naomi’s note: Hey. I’m on vacation. This shouldn’t affect your life in any way, other than you’ll probably get a faster turnaround on emails since Megan Elizabeth Morris will be dealing with the urgent ones. Also, I’ll post more often, since she’ll be publishing my posts and she doesn’t forget like I do. And we’re making a few announcements this week, and you’ll actually get them in a timely manner. So actually, your life will probably improve markedly.)

So two things dawned on me after my last post ran here on IttyBiz. One, I think Abe Vigoda is dead but am not sure, and that quandary unsettles me. But perhaps more importantly, I should probably make it clear at all times that what you’re seeing when I write here and what you’re seeing a lot of the time when I write elsewhere is a case study. A lot of the time I’m not saying, “this is how it’s done.” I’m saying, “this is what I did.” Then I say, “This movie should really star Abe Vigoda. What? He’s dead? SHIT!” Read More

A while ago, Naomi asked y’all what you wanted out of IttyBiz. That post got a lot of responses. A few people were interested in mentoring case studies, and some wanted practical how-to guides. Predictably, Tim Brownson wanted more fish. They eat them with chips where he’s from, that bastard.

One comment in particular caught my eye:

“I want more specific step-by-step, how to make a shitload of money stuff. I have OBS, and tried to follow Johnny’s rise form obscurity to superstar, but it seemed too disjointed and i just couldn’t figure it out.”

Truth, Brent. I am disjointed. There’s actually a very good (if not very good) reason for that, and it’s this: I honestly have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Read More

I wrote this post. Me, Johnny. The last time Naomi ran a post of mine that didn’t have “Johnny” in the title, her mother was tricked into liking me because she thought Naomi wrote it — and probably because I talked about punching Ashton Kutcher repeatedly in the face. I can’t have that happening again. If we’re going to start assaulting celebrities, I want it clear to everyone’s mother that it was my idea.

I wrote this post. Me, Johnny. And I wrote it because I embarked on this effort throughout June and into July to get my readers off their asses, and I realized even as many got off of their asses that there’s one troubling issue that, if left unaddressed, will doom any GOYA effort. And it’s this:

Most people think that earning money is bad. Read More

So today, I thought it might make sense to talk about the very first thing I tried in my online commerce fiesta, and also the thing I’ve had the least success with: selling a physical product. Because it was my first large venture, I have a fair amount to say about it. But, because it hasn’t been a runaway hit, you may not care if I say it.

Meh. You might as well read this anyway, because otherwise you have to get back to work. Or maybe surf for porn. (If it’s the latter, go ahead. I’d make the same choice.)

So here’s what happened. Read More