Bikini or Thong: My Response To The Challenge

My good friend Shane over at Shane and Peter put out a request for answers to these questions. He also wants an original question of my own, but I figure that since I came up with Bikini or Thong, I’m exempt. (By the way, when you’re done reading my answers, go read Jarkko’s. They’re way better. I get the feeling that, unlike myself, he may have actually thought about his answers.)

What’s your personal mission statement?

The very idea of me getting my shit together for long enough to write a mission statement is laughable.

What’s the biggest mess you’ve dealt with this year?

There was this one time? At band camp?

Seriously, though, I recently passed out in the middle of Walmart (the electronics section, if you must know) and it was basically due to overwork. I had to lay off a bunch of home business clients because otherwise I would have died. It was awkward and uncomfortable and it sucked. A lot. I don’t recommend it.

What current entrepreneurial efforts consume your time?

Well, I run a website. It’s called IttyBiz. You might have heard of it. I do marketing consulting for very small businesses with very small budgets. I’ll do freelance writing if the right client comes along. I’m writing a book. And I’m the editor and blog manager at First Wives World.

Why do you do what you do? What inspires you? When do you get most excited?

I get an almost physical thrill bashing marketing campaigns and figuring out how I would have done them better. It’s sick, really.

I also really, really love the ROI that comes from taking a very small and floundering business and turning it into something profitable. I love how excited people get. I like watching them experience their version of success for the first time. I love it when I can help a blogger boost their traffic by 1000%. So cool.

Boxers or Briefs? or as Naomi says, Bikini or Thong, duh?!?

Bikini. I have too many children to walk around with string up my ass all day.

What do you do when you’re not doing this?

I read trashy romance novels.

What one thing made the biggest difference when getting started?

Somewhere – probably on a blog – I read that to be successful, you should think about how you would do what you plan to do, only with one tenth of the time you’ve allotted. I realized that I don’t have to be mousy and conservative. I don’t have to “take my time”. I don’t have to follow arbitrary rules. I can just chuck myself on the scene and say, “Yo! I’m here!”

What’s your exit strategy?

Dude, I don’t even have an entrance strategy.

What is the last thing that made you belly laugh?

With a one-year-old in the house, you laugh a lot. You have to – the only alternative is shooting yourself. My favorite is probably this one.

Jamie and I are at a bar, and he goes up to get more drinks. This guy comes over while Jamie’s gone, not realizing that I’m attached, and starts trying to bust a move on me. Jamie gets back with two drinks in hand and, in true diplomatic Libra form, asks the guy if he can reach in front of him to put my drink down. (It should be noted that Jamie is so calm, it’s like he’s actually dead.) Dude gets all indignant and looks from me to Jamie and says, “Hey, man. I got here first. Wait your turn.”

Jamie shows the guy his wedding ring and says, “It is my fucking turn.”

Have you ever been in business before?

I have never not been in business. I went to software conferences with my Dad when I was five. I hawked his custom mustards when I was 12. When I was in high school, I used to charge people five bucks to forge their parents’ signatures on sick notes.

At what point do you consider yourself successful?

When I can stop working for pay.

What was your first experience with a computer?

My Dad bought me my own C64 when I was 3. I actually won second place in the National Science Fair with an artificial intelligence program I wrote. I was 12. That was before the sex change.

Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates in a Jell-o wrestling match, where’s your money?

Steve Jobs. Jell-o favors the sexy.

Where do you do your best thinking?

In bed, before I go to sleep. I would go so far as to say that’s where I do all my thinking.

What does your average daily work / life balance look like? How much time do you work, play and sleep?

I get up around 6 and mess around with my blogs. I get Jamie and Jack up around 9, and Jack goes to the nanny’s for the morning. I’ll work and hang out with Jamie in the morning, and when Jack gets home we’ll all have lunch together. In the afternoon, I work and Jamie studies. I try to do something leisurely in the evenings, but I often end up working then, too. I’m usually in bed by 1.

As far as “play” goes, Jack stays overnight at the nanny’s on Friday nights so Jamie and I can go somewhere and have a real date in a place without a high chair in sight.

If I could introduce you to anyone, who would it be?

It would be Peter, because I’m still convinced he isn’t real. (Note to Canadians: Peter is actually Polkaroo.)

What stops you from giving up when you are frustrated?

I bought a big screen TV with my first big check from freelancing. It’s a very tangible representation for me – it shows me, every day, the actual and practical benefits I get from doing this work.

That, and I’m completely unemployable. It’s this or get a real job.

If Chuck Norris and Steven Hawking had a baby (hey it’s my damn interview), would you vote for her for president?

It would probably depend who she was running against.

If you’re the entrepreneurial type, take the challenge. Do this on your own blog. But you have to make up a question, too. Only I am exempt. Suckers.

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By Naomi Dunford - Dec 6, 2007 in Entrepreneurship - 22 Comments