Calling All Destitute Home Business Owners And Freelancers
After much fuss, debate, deliberation, combined with a healthy dose of tomfoolery, jiggery pokery, and ballyhoo, we’re finally announcing the Itty Bitty Package. If you’re new here, you have no idea what I’m talking about, so I’ll explain. (Also, hi! Thanks for coming. Please enjoy your visit.)
Since IttyBiz is called, uh, IttyBiz, we like to focus on the little people. Really small businesses. Home businesses, generally. Some might even call them IttyBizzez. Officially, we deal with businesses with fewer than five employees.
Off the record, it’s usually one person, her two preschoolers, and their charming yet incontinent schnauzer.
My point is, you’re not trying to be the next Microsoft, and you don’t need a Super Bowl ad. You just need guidance. Help where you need it. Maybe you can’t figure out your USP. Maybe you can’t figure out what poor sucker would actually buy your product. Maybe you’ve got both of those things down, but you can only write in Yiddish. Whatever.
We’ll talk about taglines, USPs, unconventional (read: cheap) marketing strategies, the whole enchilada. You want it, you got it, as long as it takes less than 2 hours.
Enchilada not included.
I could write some really awesome sales copy here but I’m not in the mood. It costs $129. Basically that’s two hours of non-stop Naomi. (God help you.) That’s about twenty bucks cheaper than getting it by the hour. I generally charge $75/hour. Kind of like a low-to-mid-range prostitute in a major urban center.
Because I don’t want the Marketing Mafia to come and take my membership to the club away, I have to put in one of those “A pox on all your houses if you don’t BUY RIGHT NOW” sales gimmicks. Therefore, the first 8 people who sign up — as in the money is in my boob job fund jar and you’re written in with pen — get it for $99. Everyone else doesn’t.
If you want to sign up (and with copywriting skills like the humdingers you’ve seen above, why wouldn’t you?) email me at naomi@ittybiz.com, or click here to use the handy-dandy contact form.
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Want a small business marketing coach of your very own? Click here to get started.
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Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
I just sent you an email,. I hope I’m one of the early birds. :)
I’ve been visiting this blog for a few days now, I can’t quite remember where I saw your link (Problogger?) but when I saw you linked on Sonia Simone’s blog, I read through your archives last night. You are a hoot. This doesn’t suck, it’s very entertaining and informative. I’ll be signing up within the next few days.
White:rice::me:this
I MADE IT! (Stupid computers.)
I want this. Double our subscriber base :)
Hm, just noticed some site changes going on. Small ones but very effective. Well done.
I’m on this like white on… aw, someone already did that one.
I have no schnauzer or preschoolers, but I have a cat who likes to try to sleep on anything I do. Close enough?
Very cool! Now I just got to get my act together to the point that I am ready to hire you. Would be kind of like asking a contractor to put up wallpaper on an empty lot at the moment . . .
IttyBizzez, eh?
Hey wait, does that make you the IttyBizzle? (my shizzle, fo’ nizzle)
Naomi, if you’re looking to start a boob job fund, a better idea might be to register tittybiz.com.
@Susan
What did you just call me!?
@Willy
You win the thread. You 1000 Internets will be shipped to your door soon.
@ Willy - Oh you so didn’t just say that. Wait a minute. Yes you did. :)
@ Shaun - I have a feeling you did very well on the SATs.
@ Caitlin - Your cat qualifies, as long as all of the products you ship come with cat fur on them. Preferably in a color that complements your fleece.
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