It’s Time To Rally The Troops

by Naomi Dunford

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Every person who was abused as a child has a choice to make. They can beat their own kids, or they can spend the rest of their life doing everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen to other kids.

I choose the latter, and sometimes it’s a hard choice to make. I’m a Pisces which means I have the tendency to burst into tears when I watch the evening news, and hearing about suffering makes me want to curl up into a ball and listen to Enya and pretend like it’s not happening.

But when someone is in trouble or danger, the Enya option isn’t an option.

Children are forced to watch Daddy beat Mummy and we can’t ignore it.

One of your fellow IttyBiz owners is being stalked by her very violent ex-husband. Business isn’t exactly great — she’s got other stuff on her mind — and she needs to get out of there, pronto.

Remember When Sesame Street Kept It Real?

by Naomi Dunford

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

There was a time when I didn’t defend Barney. There was a time when I didn’t know the names and educational histories of the hosts of Blue’s Clues. And there was a time when I had no plans to buy a Tickle Me Elmo.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Elmo’s gone big time, and the nice people at Sesame Street released the TMX Tickle Me Elmo to much fanfare. It’s the 10th anniversary edition of the world’s most annoying toy. It’s been discontinued by the manufacturer, so God knows what these bad boys are going to go for on eBay.

Bottom line, you know damn well some horrible toddler on your gift list would appreciate it. Either that or your brother’s wife just had a baby and you want to get back at him for years of torture. Whatever. The Elmo folks donate a bunch of their cash to the Sesame Foundation, supporting the education of children at home and around the world.

Half-Naked Firemen: Dude, It’s For Charity

by Naomi Dunford

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

I’m sleepy and this really requires no introduction. Anything involving half-naked firemen had me at “hello”. Turns out, if a firefighter dies while working, the insurance benefits get slashed and the widow and kids get piss all. Isn’t that nice? The half-naked and very charitable members of Hillsborough County Fire Rescue got down and dirty and gave us this block-rockin’ calendar.

This post is part of IttyBiz’s charity drive for the charity that shall remain nameless. The proceeds IttyBiz receives from you buying this item (or any other item Amazon sells, if you use the link provided) go to a Very Good Cause. Not eager to put this show-stopper under the tree for your wife? Try Perfection In A Bag instead.

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For People Who Don’t Need More Crap

by Naomi Dunford

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they realize they don’t need more junk they don’t like and didn’t choose cluttering up their house. They can afford to buy their own crap, thank you very much. (This stage lasts one year. Then you move into a bigger place and get more crap, and the cycle continues.)

These people do not want your candles, your bath salts, your figurines. They want consumables – things they do not have to clean, store, or look at. For these people, I suggest something from The Women’s Bean Project. This is a highly funky charity that gives jobs and work experience to chicks in need. Very cool.

The product I’m featuring here is the Lovingly Handmade Two Soups and Two Spice Rubs Bundle. Seriously, that’s it’s name. I could have featured the Lovingly Handmade Chili Lover’s Gourmet Food Bundle or the Lovingly Handmade Three Bean Dip Bundle, but I have a juvenile sense of humor and I think the word “rub” is funny.

Presents For Bookish Types

by Naomi Dunford

Saturday, December 1st, 2007

Despite soul-crushing delays, I give you the next gift link in IttyBiz’s charity drive. Don’t know what I’m talking about? The proceeds IttyBiz receives from you buying this item (or any other item you buy, if you use the link provided) go to a charity that shall remain nameless. Want to know why it remains nameless? Click here.

Anyway. You know the person. You ask them what they want for Christmas and they say “books.” What kind of books, you ask? “You know, books.”

You don’t know what to get them because everyone likes different books and they might like trashy romance while you like Westerns. (You don’t like Westerns, do you?)