In some sneaky, dirty circles, people misspell words in their websites to take advantage of search engine traffic from people who can’t spell. I find this hilarious and am thus parodying that behavior here. No, I don’t endorse it. I just think it’s funny. Relax.

Unless you have been living under a rock for decades or do not live in an English speaking country, you’ve heard of Guerilla Marketing. You might think it’s something worthwhile trying for your home business. It would probably be a good idea for you to know what the hell it is before you embark.

If you go to Google and type in “define: Guerrilla Marketing” you will get these two responses:

1.) using unconventional methods to make sales.

2.) unconventional marketing intended to get maximum results from minimal resources. Read More

So you want to write a press release. Good. I dig press releases. It gives me something to write about when I haven’t had any coffee yet and I have to find something lucid to discuss. First I’ll tell you what you need to know about press releases, and then I’ll tell you how to write one. Sound fun? Good. So, who’s the press?

The press is people who get paid to relay information to other people via mass media.

The press is also people who do not get paid to do this, but are considered authority sources. If Anderson Cooper took a vow of perpetual poverty and decided to give up his worldly goods but still anchored for CNN, he would still be the press. Well, not the press. Not like, the whole press. He’d be some of the press. Read More

Public Relations is arguably the funnest part of marketing. (Yes, I just said “funnest”. It’s my blog. I can say what I want. Besides, people pay me good money to write stuff. I’m a professional, dammit. I don’t have to prove anything to you.)

Why is it fun? I thought you’d never ask. There are two key elements of public relations.

One: It’s public.

I am about to have very sexy business cards. I’m telling you, people, they’re going to kick ass. Are you going to see them? Unless you live in the backwoods of Ontario, probably not. (OK, that’s not totally true. I’ll post them on the blog. But you know what I mean.) So many of your marketing efforts will be completely unnoticed by the world at large. Such a small percentage of anybody, let alone your target market, is going to see your stuff. You bust your ass and the people don’t even know about it. But with PR, the whole world could see it. Cause it’s, like, public. Get it? Read More

Because you can read, you know what this post’s about. What you don’t know is that it’s a special post. This week, I’m going to do exactly what I’ve been doing every other week (read: snark and call it marketing advice) but we’re breaking it up because I’m crazy like that. All of my examples this week are going to feature Erin from Durtbagz. Why? Well, because she rocks. And I really wanted some of her bagz. So I bribed her. Or maybe she bribed me. Doesn’t matter. My point(s)? One, you’ll see some Erin for the next few days. Two, I accept bribes. Keep that in mind. Moving on.

The other day, we talked about branding. Some people left stuff in comments and other people emailed me to indicate that they didn’t understand the difference between branding and image. I could come up with my own topic or I could just give the people what they want. Therefore, I give you… Read More

Let’s play pretend.

Let’s pretend that you are taking me out on a date. (For my lovely female readers, this can be a “friend” date or you can pretend we’re lesbians. Doesn’t affect the story at all.) Because you’re a cheap bastard, you’re taking me to McDonald’s.

We get to the counter and I’m trying to decide between the Quarter Pounder with Cheese and the Big Mac. They both look pretty good, but it’s taking me a while to decide. I step out of the line because I don’t want to piss off the people behind me and I see, to my left, another menu.

“What’s this?” I ask the nearest 15-year-old employee.

“Oh, that’s the menu for Burger King. They’re our competitor. You can go there if you want. In fact, we actually have a driver on call. He’ll take you there, if you like. You can go right now! You don’t even have to come back.” Read More