Jan
13
Batshit Crazy: Creative Ways To Meet Your Goals
There is a highly icky and pervasive problem that keeps most of the world from having the ittybiz they dream of. Smart people do it and dumb people do it. Opera goers and NASCAR fans. Die hard vanilla lovers and those who would throw down for pralines and cream. Many, many people believe something that is an absolute, utter, devastating lie.
They think the world is linear.
Why this belief didn’t go out with thinking the earth was flat, I’ll never know. I don’t know whose fault it is, although it’s generally a good idea to start with your parents when looking for someone to blame.
Maybe successful people – the ones who have realized that this so-called truth is actually a dirty, filthy lie – don’t talk about it. Maybe they do talk about it and we don’t listen. Maybe we think Successful People have special powers to make the laws of the universe bend to their will. Doesn’t matter. It’s bullshit.
Life is not a line, it’s a web.
The easiest way to slow down your goal achievement is to go about them in a linear fashion. Lines are bad. We do not heart lines.
The trick to achieving impossible goals is to come at them from a whole bunch of angles in a whole bunch of ways. (Bonus points if you can do them in a way they haven’t been done before, because then you get publicity benefits too. Get a masters degree by going to school? Meh. Get a masters degree by screwing every person in every dean’s office in the place, regardless of gender? THAT is interesting.)
Therefore, I unveil the IttyBiz list of creative ways to meet your goals.
1. Make lots and lots of friends.
Depending on where you are in your career, you can call them fans if you want to. But no matter what you call them, you have to make them. Connect with a lot of people at a level beyond what normal people connect. If other people are following others on Twitter, send DMs. If other people are sending emails, make phone calls. If other people are hanging out on blogs ad nauseum, go to a damn conference and shake some live, human hands.
Deep connections are the most important currency you have. With connections, you can do anything. You can meet any goal. Hell, you don’t even have to know what your goal is. You can just make friends now and figure out what to do with them later.
2. Tell me what you want. What you really, really want.
When you’re selling something, it is generally considered good advice to ask for the sale. You don’t make your pitch and then sit there in silence. You ask for the sale. Bad salespeople don’t ask for the sale. Stupid salespeople ask for something sort of like the sale and think they’re asking for the sale.
Example: You meet a woman and, after careful drunken consideration, you have decided that the thing you want most in the world is for her to have lots of your babies. You want to say, “I’d love to get a martini with you someday real soon. I can get us a great table at Mynx with highly convenient dance floor access. Does Friday or Saturday work better for you?”
You actually say, “Can I find you on Facebook?”
Which one of these scenarios is more likely to net you martinis at Mynx?
The same is true for business goals. If you want someone to mention your new product on their blog, you’re a lot better off asking them to mention your new product on your blog than simply sending them a comped copy and hoping they get the hint.
3. Brainstorm. Until it feels like a storm went through your brain.
Think of crazy, stupid, ridiculous potential incarnations. Get loopy. Think of all manner of bizarre combinations of resources and strategies until you have at least 100. (If this is difficult for you, you need the Idea Catalyst Kit. It was built for people like you.)
One of the things you can do here is write down a list of the first ten ways you can think to accomplish your goal. Once you hit ten (and the last few should be pretty hard), burn it. Those were the easy ones. Now come up with ten more. Then ten more. Keep going until you’re light-headed. The light-headed ones are the best ones.
(Someday I’ll tell you about how we came up with the idea of the Limited Edition Marketing School Audiobook, which features me reading it in a phone sex voice. True story.)
4.Understand… you don’t need nearly as much as you think you need.
One of the biggest roadblocks between you and your goals is the mistaken belief that you need a lot of stuff. Often you think it’s money, but time, connections, and reliable electricity are on the list as well.
Once you realize that you don’t need half the shit you think you need, you’ll free up a whole lot of resources for working towards your goals.
5. And be brutally honest.
Some people say you shouldn’t ever say “I can’t” because it’s disempowering. I think you shouldn’t say “I can’t” because it’s lying, and lying to yourself is dirty and stupid and supremely counterintuitive.
But I can’t move to Fiji because I have a huge mortgage.
Bullshit. Sure you can. Abandon the house, move to Fiji. Done.
Sure, you may not WANT to do that, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. As long as you persist in thinking you CAN’T do something, you don’t open up the avenues of your brain devoted to figuring out how you CAN.
(Alternatively, you could try a home swap. Or a house sitter. Or you could sell it. Or rent it out. Or turn it into a creative commune for like-minded individuals on a pay-what-you-can basis. Don’t fucking play the “can’t” card with me, young lady.)
Most people who say they want to start a business but can’t really mean that they like the idea of starting a business but find the reality unpleasant. They won’t be able to get all those martinis at Mynx and write them off as business expenses. Their upwardly mobile spouse likes trading in his car every two years.
Dealing with these issues is hard. Saying, “gosh, I’d love to but I can’t” is easy.
6. Figure out what you’re willing to do.
When you’re feeling motivated – and you have to be feeling motivated or this won’t work – make a list of all the stuff you’d be willing to do to get that thing you want so badly.
Quit smoking.
Eat ramen.
Give up eating out for six months.
Sleep six hours a night.
Sell your house.
Sell your car.
Sell your entire vinyl collection.
Write 100 guest posts.
Spend 12 hours a day networking on Twitter.
Spend an uncomfortable amount of money on a class or course.
Go to live networking events.
Make it a really long list. (If the list isn’t long, you probably don’t want it that badly and you should go back and read the unstupid goals post.)
Then figure out the order in which you’re willing to do them. If you’ll eat ramen 6 nights a week easily, but it’ll be hard to give up eating out, ramen goes higher on the list. If the last thing you could ever, ever do is go to a live event, that goes lowest on the list.
Then start doing them. You’d be surprised how effective it is.
7. Think of something you absolutely couldn’t do.
Then try doing it. You’d be even more surprised how effective that is.
***
Others in this series, to which you could subscribe if you were that way inclined:
Day One: How to Make Unstupid Goals
Day Two: Accountability: Is it for Losers?
Day Three: Batshit Crazy: Creative Ways To Meet Your Goals
Day Four: Disheartenment, Disillusionment, and Other D Words
Day Five: Reevaluation: What To Do If Your Goals Were Stupid After All
It’s better to be, than to be perfect.
This is a really good list! I think you’re right on with coming at the goals from multiple angles – I’ve never heard anyone talk about it like that before – I’ve been living linearly. I must read the rest of the series, too. Thanks!
What is the word for more than brilliant? Whatever it is, you’ve done it.
That’s the best advice I’ve ever seen follow a Spice Girls lyric.
#4 and #6 are so true. I’ve never thought of them that way though. I’ve found, that in some ways, the stress of running a business has forced me to simplify my life in ways that had never occurred to me before. Not just because I’m a start up, but because I have a whole different list of crap to worry about than I did a month ago, and the superficial stuff just doesn’t seem as pressing.
I would also add to #6: Figure out not only what you are willing to do to succeed, but what your family is willing to do. Because sometimes they are different, and you want to figure that out before you’re all eating ramen six nights a week and arguing about it.
My brain is starting to wrap itself around the web vs line concept. Sometimes you have a whole lot of things that you’d like to do, and it doesn’t really matter what sequence you do them in. If you don’t feel inspired to work on A today, don’t go an hibernate, instead work on B or Q or c-prime. Different tasks require different mindsets; find the one you’re best suited for at that moment and go for it! As someone who has always wanted everything to be very structured and ordered, this is a bit uncomfortable for me, but I’m loving the results!
Now on to number 2. I’ve sent out a few emails to people asking if they’d be interested in pimping my product. I was apparently so subtle that they missed the entire point. Sounds like I have my project for the day selected!
Bravo. Life is a web, so get everyone around all tangled up in yours! I can’t agree with #1 enough– and all it takes is a Christmas or New Years’ card. When I was in film school, everyone supported everyone else because we all knew that if just one of us made that magical connection, she could drag the rest of us up. You never know who it’s going to be that has a breakthrough that meets the person who’s going to help _you_ get where you want to be…
The linear thing puts the nail on the head today. I have been looking through tons of old stuff in this giant purge and wondering where I “went wrong”. And you know, so much of what I wanted came through something totally unrelated to the straight line plan I thought would work. It’s not linear. Yeah!
Naomi, I love your blog. With a capital L. Found you through Sonia Simone. I am starting my own IttyBiz, and you kick me in the ass and make me laugh at the same time. Thank you!
Re #2, I’ve been Facebooking instead of closing the deal. In all things. Holy shit. Thanks for the wake-up call.
Excuse me while I go make a reservation at Mynx.
Great stuff, Naomi! I’m going to go to a conference tomorrow and shake some live, human hands (including Megan’s). Maybe, if we ask really nicely, she’ll sing.
Naomi, you’re brilliant. And also, possibly my favorite person that I have “met” online in recent times. This blog post is incredibly relevant to my life at this exact moment (if you were curious exactly how: http://wp.me/pDx97-30; I won’t include all the details here), and just the kick in the pants that I need. I’m going to print out the post and stick it to my wall, where I will see it every day. :D
I’m inspired! Enough said.
I think the best part about this post is that it reminds us that, no, you don’t necessarily need A all wrapped up neatly before you start in on B. Just fucking start A and B both and also C and D, and eventually you’ll get to where you were going, which might be Z or might not.
And now, I go to a networking event at an ungodly hour of the morning for me. Well, semi-ungodly. 8am is definitely still on my “no no no dammit no” list for now. ;)
Naomi,
When I read the bolded text for #2 I started thinking Spice Girls for some reason…LOL…
But you’re so right in #2 it’s not funny…once I started “getting to the point” with people I wanted to do business with, it seems they respected that, and listened.
And dagnabbit Naomi, reading this post made me open up another 3 of yours in my browser, you did it again. :)
Great stuff.
If only I had this list years ago, it would have made things a lot easier on me than finding it all out ‘the hard way’.
Still, mistakes are chock-full of experience and it’s nice to see a list anyways. :)
I don’t even HAVE a business and I STILL find these suggestions useful and inspiring.
I find your sharings funny and twisted and…totally none bullshitty. Mostly I like the way you think.
Thanks for the tips.
I’m enjoying this series quite a lot, I must say. And now I want to move to Fiji. ;)
Whooaa, this post is a real keeper!
I especially like the idea of getting over linear thinking and rather pursue a “web” approach towards (or around?) your goals. While I probably have been doing this already unconsciously in some ways, I think there’s some real potential in taking it to another level.
So maybe, I’ll just get a freelancer to record my friendly anarchistic writings in a phone sex voice… damn, that idea is already taken?! Then let’s see what turns up later on the brainstorming list…
Wow, this is the first time I have been to this site and I have to say that you are now bookmarked! This post is absolutely on the money! The linear thinking model is the old school way of thinking and one that also creates a mindset of scarcity.
If you can’t take logical steps to achieve a goal, then the scarcity or “I can’t” mindset can creep in. Screw scarcity and screw linear! I am an artist and my mind doesn’t work that way! This post ROCKS! Passing it on to a few linear thinkers now… Thank you!!!
Barbara Winter told me to come here and read this.
As usual, she’s right.
Consider yourself bookmarked.
We have to think of every one we meet as a friend. That one person we meet at a conference could be that person who becomes a shoulder that you cry on or someone that sends tons of people your way. I’m not saying treat everyone equally because that would be stupid. I’m saying you know who the good people are and that you need to spend time with them. Hang out with these people because it’s these friends that will introduce you to some pretty cool people.
My second favorite is the second to last. When we are willing to break out of our comfort zone and do something hard that’s when we know success is coming. Who knows when, but it’s coming because we are putting ourselves out there. So be ready.
Agree with you on the can’t thing.
Didn’t someone advise that every time you find yourself saying ‘I can’t’ you replace it with ‘I won’t’ and that makes you see the truth of the situation.
Was that a Havi-ism?
Anyway it works!
I really like #5. It’s true – there is very little we CAN’T do – it’s the consequences that hold us back. You just have to decide if what you want is worth any possible negative consequences, and then you can think creatively instead of just moan into yet another pint. (Which has its attractions.)
“Most people who say they want to start a business but can’t really mean that they like the idea of starting a business but find the reality unpleasant.”
EXACTLY. This is one of the reasons I created my BootstrapBlogger site. I talk to these people all the time.
Sure, I wanted to take action on my business, even if it wasn’t “perfect” yet. And I genuinely want to build a clientele of entrepreneurs – I like working with them. But the bonus for me is that I can point to the site and say “put up or shut up” to all the people who say they want to start a business but don’t have the resources.
Got $10? Great, here’s everything else (other than IttyBiz!) you need to get rolling. Go build your website. Very few actually do anything, in spite of all the talk.
I love this post. Perfect timing – I just wrote a post yesterday about how to act like a successful person. I have to prod myself constantly by asking, “what would a successful person do?”
In this instance, the answer is: make that list and actually do the things on it. Something that, bizarrely, wouldn’t have occurred to me before. I usually look at advice like that and say, “yeah, yeah, I should.”
I think “should” means “don’t want to and won’t” just as much as “can’t” does.
Story: girl in the office kept asking out this guy, Louis, and he kept telling her, “thanks, but I can’t.” She was relentless. One day, she asked him again: “hey, Louis, want to go for a drink?”
Louis: “I can’t.”
Girl: “How come?”
Louis: “I can’t, because I don’t want to.”
That sums it up.
Naomi this is brilliant.
Too often the limiting factor is self belief. For whatever reason you believe that you can’t do something and suddenly you can’t do it.
Surround yourself with positive people and you’re going to have more success. If you don’t have positivity in the relationships closest to you then you need to change the people you hang out with.
“Bullshit. Sure you can. Abandon the house, move to Fiji. Done.” – Hilariously True.
I believe it was Tim Ferris who said that the biggest and most ridiculous goals are probably the easiest to achieve.
Love the Spice Girls reference you snuck in…nice!
You said something in an interview once (maybe the MBM) and it stuck with me…a lot of the things you were waiting to do were already attainable…you just had to do it.
I believe it’s that way with goals, business, and life in general.
Naomi,
Wonderful post! Thank you so much. Just what I needed on an “I can’t” morning.
I’m a huge fan.
Robert
How do you do? My name is Lisa Newton. I’m happy to meet you. I’ve been a short time reader via RSS, but thought today would be a great day to say Hello.
This post is particularly good for me because I’m entering a new phase with my blog and looking forward to it. My plans, although a little outside my comfort zone are ready to go.
And so am I.
Keep up the great work on this series!!
yippeee kayyy yayy! just what the doctor ordered, served up and delivered with your usual does of no-nonsense. i think itty biz is my new bible…no offense to God or anything.
Hi Naomi,
Way to nail that message right on the head.
Here’s one more tip with attribution to Best-Selling Author Patrick Snow, who wrote “Creating Your Destiny — How to Create the Life You Want.”
He says, “I will do what others won’t so I can have what others don’t.”
Nancy
GREAT post. :)
“Get a masters degree by going to school? Meh. Get a masters degree by screwing every person in every dean’s office in the place, regardless of gender? THAT is interesting.)”
I love that. haha
This is frickin’ awesome! I’ve never had the guts to go that deep with brainstorming before. I find it helps to get a double espresso into me before I start. It helps me to throw caution to the wind and come up with some scary ideas.
As a Weight Watcher meeting leader, I’m constantly telling members that “I wanna lose 10 pounds” is not a goal. I actually had a member quit after I said that. But what I try to get people to realize (and by that, I mean what I try to get my damn SELF to realize) is that the very first question you must be able to answer is WHY? When you start answering WHY, you start finding your true goals. I want to fit into smaller clothes. Why? I want to be at my high school weight. Why? I want to be thinner than my sister/father/brother/cousin/best friend. Why?
I’ve discovered that when I’m not accomplishing anything, it’s because I don’t know what I would get from achieving it. And a lot of times when I really think about it, it’s not something that matters.
Thanks for an insightful, funny, thought-provoking and ass-kicking post. I needed that.
As my child likes to say, “You are really true.”
The web thing is spot on. Which is what I hate about most goal setting. They have you set up a series of action steps, which I don’t think I have ever had actually work.
Per usual, the kick in the ass I so desperately needed!
I loved this post! I’m always saying, “well if I didn’t have such & such bills, or if I didn’t such & such responsibility I could do what I want to do”.. So true, if I really wanted it, I would do what it takes. Sometimes people just need a good kick in the ass to wake up & stop whining. Thank you. I needed it!
DANG..that was good. Barbara Winters told me to come here. I was not disappointed. You are bookmarked.:)
Very direct. I love your post, I’m a first time reader of your blog and I’m really impressed.
This series of posts on goals and brainstorming — and IttyBiz in all it’s aspects– is helping me see the way to moving from freelancing (just another way of working hard for the man) to starting a successful independent online business. You rock!
6. Figure out what you’re willing to do.
I LOVED the suggestion of writing a list – so obvious but rarely done.
So I am going to write me a list of what I am going to do to raise money (other than by working….. nah, not that… selling stuff – clothes, books etc, reduce costs and get closer to the life I want.
BTW – happy new year Naomi !
Great post! Number 4 really resonated with me, as I just learned that about my business. I thought I needed more space for my home-based business, but a friend came over and evaluated my space and showed me how to better utilize it. Turns out I had plenty of room to expand. It took another pair of eyes to help me see what resources I had.
Great post! Number 4 really resonated with me. I thought I didn’t have enough space in my home for my business. But it wasn’t until a friend came over recently and evaluated my space that I realized I had plenty of room to expand. I just needed another pair of eyes to help me see the possibilities.
I’ve always taken a certain amount of perverse joy in my ability to be linear, so this was a thump on the side of the head. What am I willing to give up? I hate working at night with a white hot passion, so maybe that is something to consider! In the meantime, I’ll brainstorm until a storm blows through my head. Love it.
Great post. I definitely need to work on #2. And now I’m concerned because I can’t think of any goal that I’m willing to spend 12 hours daily on Twitter to reach.