This is the sequel to Credit Crunch Marketing, Part 1. Because we’re logical like that.

Graphic designers, web designers, copywriters, coaches and consultants, I’m talking to you.

The buying public is not buying what you’re selling. Well, maybe they’re buying a bit, but not enough to keep you in cookies. In an economy like this one, people still have money but they’re terrified of spending it on the wrong thing so they’re not spending it at all. Last time we talked about how you have to make what you sell important enough for them to get around the fear.

Here’s a little game plan to try for you to get people out of their petrified frugality rut.

1. Send an email to everyone you’ve ever worked for.

OK, maybe not the clients you hated. Offer them a VERY SPECIFIC service at a reduced rate. Tell them why they’re interested, and quietly emphasize the reduced rate.

Here’s a made up example:

Hey Naomi,
I was thinking about you the other day and hoping that your move went well. Havi tells me horror stories about what it was like when she moved here from Israel and I can only hope things are working better than that. :)

Anyway, I’ve been reading your blog and I’ve noticed you’ve come out with a few new products since the last time we worked together. I was thinking… I’m trying to expand my portfolio a bit and it looks like you don’t have any graphics or banner ads set up for Marketing 101 or Online Business School.

So I have a proposition. I’d like to do you up a set of six banner ads — maybe three for each? — that you can send out to your affiliates or put in your own sidebars. (I know you’re always talking about changing up your banner ads, so I figured one wouldn’t be good enough.) My normal rate for this is $750, but I figure since you’d be doing me a favor I could do it for $550.

I’d love to set up some time to chat when the little one isn’t totally monopolizing every spare moment you’ve got.

Talk soon…

Richard.

(This is a totally fictional email that I am pretending to send to myself on behalf of Richard, the guy who did my logo. He didn’t actually send it and I’m making up his rates.)

Give me something easy. Don’t make me think. Show me you know me and you like me. And cut me a deal.

2. Email people you don’t know.

This is kind of like cold calling except it’s not cold and you’re not calling.

The reason cold calling doesn’t work for 99.9% of the world is that 99.9% of the world sucks at cold. Cold interactions of any kind — selling or otherwise — are really, really hard to execute. (When was the last time you tried to pick someone up in Starbucks? How’d it work out?)

Think of it like this. If you go on a blind date with someone — a fairly warm example of an interaction you go into cold — you already know someone in common, you’re both they’re of your own free will and you’ve already agreed to meet. And they still never work.

On a cold call, you’re interrupting someone’s day to ask them to give money to a total stranger. No fucking wonder it doesn’t work.

But does this mean you can’t make sales with strangers?

Jesus Lord, no. Hold on to your gin, people, and get a load of this. The following is the actual email I received from The Lovely Jess, the woman who is now my assistant.

Hi Naomi,

My name is Jessica Riesenbeck. I’m a Virtual Assistant (I provide top-level administrative support to clients from my home office), wanting to add a few fabulous clients to my practice.

I recently came upon your blog after reading about it from Stacy Brice. In reading your blog and about your work, I immediately knew I wanted to try to connect with you.

I’m sure you probably hear this from many of your readers, but I have become instantly addicted to your blog. It’s captivating (I’m going to have to restrict myself to reading outside of my business hours or I’ll never get work done)–everything you write is from the heart and you just put it out there–it’s so raw. I’m just blown away by how authentic you are–I’m in complete awe of your ability to write about the topics you write about in the manner that you write. You’re a bit vulgar (as you know), so honest and truthful, thought provoking and intelligent. You’re truly gifted and talented!!! I only wish I could express my thoughts and feelings to my closest family and friends as you write about yours to all of your readers.

Your business looks like it’s doing wonderfully, and I have read about the family and friends you’ve hired to work with you (that’s awesome!)–but I find myself wondering if you may be in need of an additional assistant that could help with both personal and administrative support?

If you are, I’d love to talk with you by phone to see if there may be a way for me to support you. I’m available next week on Tuesday, November 18th at 2:30 pm, Wednesday, November 19th at 11:00 am or Thursday, November 20th at 3:00 pm ET. Would any of these work well for you?

Thanks so much for your time–I would absolutely love to hear back from you.

Sincerely yours,

Jessica

How in the name of God could you not hire this woman after reading an email like that one?

See what she did there? She showed me she knew me. She showed me she liked me. She showed me she understood me. She showed me she and I were similar. She showed me she was in my tribe.

And then she gave me a very specific call to action — pick one of these times and she’ll call me.

By Thursday she was on the payroll.

(I later found out that this piece of marketing genius is the brainchild of my friend Stacy Brice, who runs the virtual assistant training program, AssistU. If you are ever thinking of opening a VA business, you are shooting yourself in the foot, the head, and the nether regions if you don’t try to get into this course. This is a level of training that I can’t even explain in words.)

The Only Reason These Won’t Work

They won’t work if you don’t do them.

Long, long ago, when the economy was perfect and we were all rich beyond our wildest dreams and it rained gumdrops like manna from heaven, we got the idea that scoring clients and customers was a basic human right.

We got busy. People were paying us money to do actual, billable work. Marketing, networking and PR took a back seat. Now people aren’t beating a path to our doors anymore and businesses are folding.

If your business folds before you take steps like these ones, you had no business being in business in the first place.

People read advice like the above — and let’s be honest, this isn’t exactly rocket science — and they don’t do it because they think there should be an easier way. “But I don’t like marketing. Marketing is hard.”

There isn’t an easier way. Get over it.

Running a business takes work. Sometimes it takes the kind of work you don’t like doing. Sometimes it takes the kind of work you currently suck at.

Tough shit, darlings.

I get emails every day from people saying they don’t like marketing. I love getting these emails. Why? Because NOBODY likes marketing. But these people are getting off their asses and taking some fucking responsibility. They’re changing things. They’re getting in touch with people who DO know marketing and they’re making shit happen. And these are the people who will still be in business when everybody else has gone back to their day jobs.

I promise you, if you do a marginally decent job of getting yourself out there, you will make sales. Jesus, Microsoft sells Vista, for Christ’s sake.

If that doesn’t give you hope, nothing will.