If I was still working for The Man, I would’ve called in sick today. There was general sneezing to be had by all of us yesterday. Then today Jack decided to wake us up at 5, just to let us know he was stuffed up and hated us and all that we represent.

He also wanted to let me know that the only way he would allow anyone near enough to wipe his nose was if I used the sleeve of my new shirt.

The worst of it was, I have four clocks on one of the walls in my house, representing London, New York, Sydney and LA. When I looked up, I realized that I could totally call Havi in Portland because she was still awake.

So, on to how to take a sick day:

1. Create blog post of most entertaining or informative or time sensitive stuff. Use numbered list, witty anecdotes and header text to distract from lack of depth and insight.

2. Eat some grapes.

3. Go back to bed with one each of, a.) Jon Fields’ new book and b.) Pam Slim’s new book.

OK. On with number one, otherwise known as The Stuff You Should Really Know By Now But Might Not So I’m Telling You So I Can Be The Good Guy.

Johnny’s Giving Away Free Website Installs

If you don’t have a website but can afford $80 for a year’s worth of hosting, you should get in touch with Johnny NOW. If you sign up by Thursday, it’s free. After Thursday it is not free. Even if you hate Johnny, you should probably do this. In fact, maybe especially if you hate him. Details are here.

Havi’s Doing A Course

It is called “Stuff Havi thinks you should know about how to get really really great testimonials and referrals”. (Could I make that up, people? No, I could not.) Publicly, it’s $154. Fans get it for $54. How do you prove you’re a fan? Enter the answer to one of the following two questions in the comment box of the shopping cart.

Who is Selma? (Hint: Duck.)

Who is Stu? (Hint: Psychotic voice recognition software that Havi has been forced to use since she can’t use her arms anymore. Stu is a prude who won’t let her say “bullshit”. He writes “Bolshevik” instead.)

God knows when she’ll close registration, but the first class is Sunday, so it’ll be before then.

SPEAKEASY IS CLOSING REGISTRATIONS!!

Speaking of closing registrations, we’re closing the SpeakEasy to new peeps on Friday, or when we get 36 more people, whichever comes first. A few frequently asked questions from when the Advance Discount List heard about this:

Will you reopen it later?

I don’t know. Probably.

If you do reopen, when is it likely to happen?

No idea. If I’m certain I can add more members while still giving the same level of service to existing members, I’ll open it back up. If not, I won’t.

If you do reopen, how much will it cost?

More than it does now. $44 is the beta price.

Why are you closing it?

Because it’s been designed to be an intimate group of people. There has been a networking and recommending and hiring bonanza going on there, and I don’t want to ruin that.

And I answer every question I get asked, from marketing to PR to hiring staff to how to dump sucky clients to how to up your rates, and more. That would get a little ridiculous with 30,000 members, n’est pas?

Plus, it’s beta. Betas end.

I’m broke. You promise if I join the price won’t go up?

You keep your price forever.

36 spots is not a lot of spots. (To put that in a little perspective, over 30,000 people have read this blog so far in April.) If you want in, you’ll want to get a wiggle on. Go here if you want in.

Sundried Other Stuff

Shannon is doing a course on decluttering mind, home and office. Looks kinda cool.

The other day I announced that I couldn’t go to SOBCon and was giving away my tickets. The winners are Wendy Cholbi and Duong Sheahan. Congratulations, and enjoy!