How To Tell The Truth, Part One

Written with love by Naomi.

I’d like to state for the record that I am all for honesty. Good stuff. I’m digging the truthfulness. Big fan over here. But. There is a but…

Honesty is like communism. Executed correctly, and under the right circumstances, it’s wonderful. But it’s often just a really big flop.

There are two kinds of honesty. One is dumb. The other is not dumb.

The first kind is honesty for honesty’s sake. This is the kind of truth you tell when you don’t even need to tell it. The kind of truth that has no relevance to anyone. The kind of truth that does nothing but alleviate your own guilt, fear, or discomfort.

Example: “I know it’s only our second date, but I think it’s only fair to tell you I’ve slept with 34 other men.”

Yes, that may be true. It’s also really dumb.

The second kind is honesty for clarity’s sake. This is the kind of truth you tell because it needs to be told. The kind that’s useful to the receiver. It purveys necessary, accurate, and relevant information.

Example: “I know it’s only our second date, but I want you to know I’m really enjoying spending time with you.”

Also true. Not so dumb.

Someone I like very much (this person shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) was recently offered a lucrative and exciting opportunity for which they are amply qualified. Part of this opportunity involved this person writing press releases. This person has never written a press release before.

I got an email that said, “Damn! I don’t think I can get that gig now. They want me to write press releases!”

Now, maybe I’m a big fat lying pants, but I think that’s a load of crap.

In this situation, my friend can say, “Gee, I’m sorry, I’ve never written a press release before.” This would be true.

My friend can also say, “Let me send over some clips and a testimonial letter from one of my current clients. I’d love to write your press releases for you.”

Guess what, people. That’s also true. Which one do you think is more important? Which one is more likely to help your home business?

It’s true that my pants fell down in front of 15 football players in a crowded restaurant on homecoming weekend. It’s true that I stole cigarettes from the gas station I worked at when I was 17. It’s true that I never finished high school and made it into college on a technicality.

You don’t see me mentioning any of those in my query letters.

You get to pick the truths you tell.

Tell the truths that needs to be told.

That covers out-of-thin-air honesty - the kind of statements you make without provocation. Tomorrow I’ll lecture talk about what to do when somebody asks you something outright in Honesty: The Fine Art of the Redirect.

Have you subscribed to the feed yet? What, do I smell?

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By Naomi Dunford