Dec
04
It’s Time To Rally The Troops
Every person who was abused as a child has a choice to make. They can beat their own kids, or they can spend the rest of their life doing everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen to other kids.
I choose the latter, and sometimes it’s a hard choice to make. I’m a Pisces which means I have the tendency to burst into tears when I watch the evening news, and hearing about suffering makes me want to curl up into a ball and listen to Enya and pretend like it’s not happening.
But when someone is in trouble or danger, the Enya option isn’t an option.
Children are forced to watch Daddy beat Mummy and we can’t ignore it.
One of your fellow IttyBiz owners is being stalked by her very violent ex-husband. Business isn’t exactly great — she’s got other stuff on her mind — and she needs to get out of there, pronto.
She wanted to have a sale to drum up a bunch of money so she could move across the country and get away from this fucker, but I’m going to and veto that. She doesn’t have the audience and a sale will result in a whole lot of screwing around that she doesn’t have time for with very little extra money at the end.
So I’m taking shit into my own hands and asking for donations on her behalf.
I’d love to put a picture up with a nice, heartbreaking shot of her son but that would be a.) cheesy as shit and b.) a security risk. I’d like to create a killer call to action and make a big fuss, but I’m getting in the car for a nine hour drive in fifteen minutes. So this is what you get.
I have a feeling that if this woman gets out of this alive, she will turn this situation into something very good. But what concerns me most is the son. He’s not little anymore, and as a teenager, he needs to see that there is good in this world and that compassion, generosity and kindness change lives just as much as violence, abuse and injustice.
Please help. Even five bucks. If there was ever a time when every little bit counted, this would be it.
(If you are reading this via a feed reader and the button doesn’t come through — I didn’t have time to test it — please click through to IttyBiz and the button will be there.)
I’m in.
Please re-tweet this page immediately.
Got it, retweeted.
Best wishes to this IttyBiz woman and her son, I hope they get what they need soon.
Kimberlee
Done and retweeted.
I’m in & retweeted.
Give them a hug from me.
I’m in. Done, will retweet and bear all my powers on spreading this.
Retweeted.
Abuse sucks.
Been there, done that.
Let’s get her out of here.
When I was eleven, I had my dad arrested because he was beating my mom with a tree branch. (He ran it over with the tractor and blamed her for it being in the yard.) A few weeks later, he pushed her through a window on our door, and she ended up with more than 60 stitches in her forearm.
Eventually, she got out and divorced him. I spent my college years working in a women’s shelter, where I saw so many women come see us too many times before they finally gave up forever or really got lucky and finally got ahead. I wish they had twitter friends like you.
I’m sorry I couldn’t give more. I’m out of work right now and about to move to another country. But I sent what I could, as well as all my love. Good luck and bless.
Tweet tweet
Done. And no going to retweet. Hopefully we can all come together and make things better….
That should have be “now” going to retweet, not “no”. My apologies. I was typing fast. Just for that, I will retweet some more!
done. Good luck.
Sent and retweeted.
I hate to be a doubter, but does anyone actually *know* this woman in real life? I’ve come across this on a few boards recently, and when questioned at all, the woman disappears or the story changes.
If she is in danger, my heart aches for her, and I’d love to help. She should go to the police or a hospital immediately, and they can help her and her children get into hiding and protect them.
Requests for cash make me cautious.
Once burned, twice shy I guess.
So I’m just asking, does anyone know this person in real life? If so, I will gladly and gratefully eat my words. Please.
Count me in. I was thinking “I can’t afford to give” (sorry, knee-jerk reaction) but this person can’t afford for me *not* to give.
I know this logic can be applied to lots of causes. Why did I pick this one? I trust Naomi, that’s why. She’s my tribe, and tribes band together to protect their own.
Rebecca,
It’s all about trust. Great idea Naomi. I’m in.
Done and Done.
Heartbreaking. Done and passed on.
Done. Retweeted. Posted.
One more over-empathic too-sensitive-for-this-world Pisces on board. With a duck. Minus the Enya of course.
Done. Wish I could do more.
Ditto ditto, I donated, I retweeted.
Mad props to Naomi for being willing to take a risk on this – as others have said, sometimes these pleas for help end up being a scam. But I trust that Naomi’s nose for bullshit would sniff that out, and that is in fact a real need.
Donated and retweeted.
Well, I’m a Leo and available to kick the guy’s ass.
Please tell us something is being done to him, even if it is only legal.
We don’t have to know this woman. I know Naomi, and that’s all I need to know.
Done and tweeted. You go, girl.
this is the true “buck stops here”. thanks for being you, naomi.
Done and RT’d
Naomi, you’ve already helped me so much, so the least I can do is help you help someone else. It’s not much, but hope it helps!
Done. Retweeted.
done and retweeted. Hoo-Ah!
I don’t have to know this woman and her son; I know and trust Naomi, and would donate just to see us all brought together in this spirit. I’m no do-gooder or advocate or past victim or outraged citizen or kindly soul. I’m a control freak. So if I can effect one little ounce of rally-the-troops-with-support effort when someone I trust (and gain so very much from) asks for it? I can’t control others’ ‘no,’ but I can control my own ‘yes.’ Done/RT.
Agreed – I don’t know this woman and a red flag went up immediately – but Naomi has done a lot for me and asked nothing in return, so I’m happy to do this (very small) thing for her and also keep this woman and her family in my thoughts, regardless. Abuse sucks. And it really messes with the kids.
Done. It’s been RT. My sister had an abusive husband (99% mental abuse)… after two kids and about 5 years of abuse, she called it quits … and has moved on. She still suffers physically and mentally from the abuse. It’s frustrating that the guy got away with all the crap he put on her.
Now their two kids are adults and out on their own. My sis has found a new wonderful guy who treats her like a queen (and she treats him like a king!)… and the two kids absolutely love the guy. So I’m happy she’s changing her life around.
But those first 5 years. aaagh! What a waste.
Again… I’ve RT the URL for you.
@fanihiman95376
I don’t know the woman in question. But I heard about this yesterday from a trusted colleague – who spoke DIRECTLY to the woman in question. There is no doubt in my mind that this is real. I’ve donated and I’m spreading the word!!
Naomi,
You and all of your faithful friends are amazing! Simply amazing! Thank you for being who you are.
I too have donated and RT’d.
Done, retweeted, and like many here – I really, really wish it could have been more. But I didn’t let my embarrassment at how small it was stop me from doing at least that!
Done and did.
If I can help in the future, give a shout and I’ll see what I can do.
Done, retweeted. My prayers and thoughts go out to her and her son. Hope she finds her way out soon.
done, retweeted and about to be reblogged
Count this teary-eyed Pisces in too. Donation made, RT complete.
Done.
I know you wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t the real deal.
Poor woman. I wish her return to safety and hope she gets through this ok.
hey naomi,
please see to it that she seeks help for herself and her child. there’s a lot of resources on domestic violence and many support groups. i’m not sure what resources are available for you folks in canada, but here’s the website for the national domestic violence hotline in the states: http://www.ndvh.org/ .
it’s so nice to see people standing up for dv victims. since working for a dv agency, i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed adults and children walk into the office scared as f*ck and yet leave a little more hopeful because someone took the time to care.
From someone who experienced a similar type of abuse as a teenager, I hope for the best. Good luck in your better life.
Done.
It was a huge leap of faith for both of us – but we had asked the Universe for an opportunity to take just such a leap.
What goes around, comes around.
How often does someone with a semicolon on her back ask me for money? I don’t know – I rarely look that closely.
OK, this was tweeted to me and you, Naomi, seem very much on the up-and-up so I’ll give it a go. (people trying to hide things rarely show the semicolon on their back)
Maybe if she receives more money than she immediately needs she’ll start a biz that will auto-price pink vibrators…
In any case, I hope it works out well.
(sorry for the flippancy – if I’m not flippant about it I’d be really pissed off that she was put in this position)
I think you said it when good copywritting is getting people to do what you want them to… 5USD is all I can spare right now, which will pretty much work out to like 10$ CDN with the ridiculous exchange rate right now :(
Still abuse sucks. Good on you for trying to help. And for using your means of communication to spread the word :)
Indeed, it puts a knot in my stomach, and I’m a Scorpio.
Did what I could.
ari
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do something positive to help Naomi. I’ve contributed.
Thanks for the opportunity to help. Been in her shoes before, and it sucks butt. To say the least.
Your point about the son being a teenager…mine was when I was in those shoes. It’s been six years and he’s still got issues related to being in that horrible butt-sucking situation. Teenage boys have enough trouble figuring out who the hell they are and who they’re trying to be without drama of this magnitude being lumped on top.
Please give us an update later. I’ll be praying for them.
Done … if only to help make a small difference …
Suffered the same as a child – I used to dream that someone would help us out this way. Glad I could contribute.
Naomi,
Today is my wifes Birthday and I know she would love that I gave that donation to your friend and your cause.
I just spent a lot of money getting my business a LLC and I knew my wife wanted to kill me because I only have a name for my business and a great idea.
It was putting the cart before the horse but it was my incentive to get going and doing something.
So when the air clears please put more useful stuff up on you blog. I all ready spent way too much for a guy on disability and I aint no young chick like you.
I only want to make what I was making before I went on the dole.
I’ve been there with my two children. I am happy to be able to help. Thank you.
Done. Been there, done that. When I was 10, my champ of a dad thought it would be a hoot to shoot (as in, gun) all of us one night during an all-too-common drunken stupor. Luckily, after a fight with my mom, he was the one that ended-up with the bullet in his foot and he rest of us were the beneficiaries of the psychological aftermath. My mom wasn’t in a position to leave him, so I hope together we’re able to help a fellow IttyBiz’er get out of a bad situation.
Please tell her even after she leaves she can be stalked. Go hide. Change your name if needed. A restraining order doesn’t mean anything. Get self and son counseling. Even with help, can screw your life up forever.
Done. I wish Godspeed to all.
My donation wasn’t much but hope it help’s some, good luck!
Done. That poor woman. I hope she and her son make it out okay.
I’ve been there. I understand. I can’t donate much but I did what I can. Retweeted, too.
Bless your beautiful heart, Naomi. I hope you and yours enjoy safe travels and likewise for this mother and son in crisis. The outpouring of positive energy in your comments here is an excellent sign, I think.
Abuse is terrible. I only contributed a few dollars, thinking that surely a lot of us will respond. If not – if the response was underwhelming – do let us know and I (and I’m sure others) will dig deeper.
My youngest sister’s (five years older than I) first husband was an alcoholic.
When I was 18 years old I drove to her house one night to visit. I found her on the floor of the kitchen, nearly unconscious, with my three year old nephew running around her sobbing.
Her husband had done this before, but not this bad.
There was a baseball bat in the corner. I picked it up, went back to my car and went looking for the s.o.b.
I didn’t find him, which was good for two reasons. One, I’d likely be in jail now because I would have killed him. But also because eventually he did quit drinking and although he and my sister divorced, he became a truly wonderful father to my nephew. He and I even became good friends.
He died from lung cancer a few years back. I think of him often.
That was over 40 years ago. My nephew now has kids of his own and he also is a wonderful, loving dad. You can see that in their eyes and the way they act around him. I’d have to say he learned more about good parenting from his dad than my sister.
Horrible beginnings CAN sometimes turn out well, so never lose hope.
I’m not able to donate right now thanks to the ratty PayPal support in my country (Belgium). Nevertheless, I retweeted your message to a couple of influential people and I posted your message on The Art of Manliness forum (I’m a mod there). I wish this abused woman the best.
Happy to help with a small donation but also tweeted and posted on one of my blogs.
I hope she and her son have a warm and SAFE Christmas.
Done Naomi. I know this story too well – thankfully, the cycle can actually be broken. Just this emotional support can be enough to help someone believe his or her life can change – so to her and her children, believe in our beliefs that they can do it.
It’s not much, but $18 is symbolic — it means “life”. Wishing a long, healthy, and happy life to this IttyBiz owner and her son.
And AmpleThanks and kudos to you, Naomi!
I’m literally in tears. It’s so odd that you mention $5, as that’s all I had in my pocket when I escaped my abuser (beaten so badly I was bruised inside and out). I know even a faded and tattered five dollar bill can make a difference and get a victim further down the road. I also know prayer works. It does change things. In my heart I know this because I’m alive today. So, I pray angels of protection, strength, and peace to this woman and her son. Amen.
Donating and RT as well.
No one (except a victim) knows what it means to someone who is being abused to show that you care and to give them hope that there is a way out.
I commend you for doing this…
Former lurker here, inspired to donate, and thank you for doing this. Just donated. Wish I could afford to donate more. You’re the best.
done. good luck!
Done. Wish I could do more. Thank you for taking this on, Naomi.
Tweeted, donated, and prayed for the safety for both mother and son.
Done!
I hope she and her son get out and stay safe.
Thanks for doing this, Naomi. I hope she gets out safe and stays away. I spent a lot of time covering DV in my days as a newspaper reporter and it’s just not right.
Well, based on my last blog post, I better put my money where my mouth is. My small contribution is on its way.
Sarah, from the above comment, I liked your last blog post, so instead of sending you a Christmas card, I’ll donate the money and the postage to Naomi’s friend.
Done, tweeted and blogged.
I hope it works out for all involved.
I just donated the entire reserve-budget of Mediacondom.com to the cause. We’ve only made ten dollars, but it should do something :)
I’ll reTweet.
Thanks for commenting on my blog a little while back Naomi, btw :) Meant a lot to me.
Just saw this and clicked over to PayPal immediately. You do good things, Naomi. Good luck to your IttyBizzer in need!
Done. You’re the best. I have a little boy (2 yrs old) and a little girl (5 months old) and I hope to heaven that neither of them will ever be in a situation like this when they’re adults but if they are, I hope they have a friend like you.
I’ll RT too (I’m pretty much a twitter nobody as I’m still “figuring” it out but I’ll try!).
Ahhhh not done. An error message popped up saing “this recipient is currently unable to receive money”…anybody else having trouble?