Thanks for the links. They’ll come in handy for this niebu-bie!

Damn it! Now I have to rethink everything. Thanks a lot.

For example:

The Emoter Lurker:

You have provoked an emotional reaction in him, but he knows that his expression of the immediate spontaneous excitement makes him sound as a teenage girl spotting the ‘perfect shoes’ in a window shop. So he has learned that by holding himself from commenting he will spare the trained circus seals from the humiliation when the world sees that their act is nothing compared to his breaks of excitement from your post. Thus, he does not comment.

The Dissenter Lurker:

The Dissenter Lurker does not comment because he doesn’t agree with you most of the time. He finds your blog amusing and that’s why he keeps coming back. These lurkers are friendly, for they are not haters and as long as they are welcome to the party, they’ll hang around for the beer and try to have some fun.

The Starfucker Lurker

For the Starfucker Lurker has definitely read your archives back to your first entry and he does love everything you’ve ever written. He does not comment, though, because he thinks that that’s it – you have put the dot on the ‘I’ on the topic, and there’s nothing else to be said. At least not anything smart or clever anyway.

For the Worshipping Starfucker Lurker your say is the alpha and omega in the entire blogosphere, and he feels that by commenting he would only blemish the perfection you have created. Thus he steps back and looks at the masterpiece in awe and admiration.

The Minority Lurker

These types of lurkers are quiet because they feel they are not a part of ‘the community’. Either they are not bloggers, so they presume the other commentators-bloggers look down at their comments – and who could live with a wounded ego – so they restrain themselves from commenting. Or they are the ‘foreigners’, feeling bad about their English and their limited vocabulary in this language. Most of the time, they don’t even believe that what they want to say would come up right in English. Those are listed under the category of The Borat Lurkers.

There are definitely other categories and sub-categories of Lurkers, but my competence in the issue is limited, or non-existent, since I’m not a blogger. I just improvised here, but I very much would like to hear your opinions on the categories.

PS: I hope I wrote this comment in understandable English :)

Your post on types of commentators is absolutely hilarious. I’ve been thinking about the topic of comments lately. It’s a fascinating area in most blogs. You really do learn a lot about people from reading their comments, and you also learn a lot about where a blogger is on the blogging chain from how his commentators address her/ him.

Thanks for the links! Good way to find stuff I’ve missed as a newbie, and also to further entrench my starfucking love for you.

Also, I found out you abhor semicolons. Useful info. Because I would totally hate to piss you off!