Dec
28
Just Because It’s Lame Doesn’t Mean It’s Stupid
You know those signs with the sliding letters? The ones that go outside little stores, where they advertise their weekly specials and stuff? Ugly, but pretty effective.
They used to only be letters and numbers, maybe the occasional hyphen for phone numbers and stuff. But now? No way. Sliding letter signs have kept up with the times. They have exclamation marks and stars and lots of metaphorical bells and whistles.
As I am a marketing professional, one of my favourite recreational pursuits is making fun of other people’s marketing.
(There are some in my household who would argue that this is not entirely recreational, and is more likely the catalyst of my own untimely death from stress at OH MY FUCKING GOD THE STUPIDITY OF IT ALL. My rebuttal to those people is that recreational pursuits are not worth pursuing if they don’t run at least a marginal risk of heart failure. I mean, seriously. Where’s the fun?)
Anyway, one of my favourite things to make fun of is the little symbols that say “WOW!” (They also have ones that say “ONLY”, but those ones are exempt from my censure because “only” is a recognizable part of speech.) If you have to tell me it’s “WOW!”, it’s not wow.
Sure enough, though, I’m on my way into Tim Horton’s today, and there’s a nutritional supplement store with one of these signs, and they’re advertising God knows what that starts with “gluco” and ends with personal bankruptcy. And the sign says:
ONLY $126! WOW!
And today, I do not think it’s stupid. I think, “Hmm. Is that a good price for glucosasomething? I guess it must be or they wouldn’t be advertising it.”
Logical? No. Effective? YES.
Why It Pays To Be Lame In Your Marketing
My generation would rather die than be considered uncool. I came of age somewhere between Reality Bites and Mean Girls. Right around Clueless. When I had hair, I would’ve rather frozen to death than have it messed up by a toque. (Although, through conversations with other members of my esteemed gender, I’ve come to the conclusion that this particular suicidal peccadillo is not limited to those born between 1975 and 1990.)
It’s the same with marketing. Looking like you care whether somebody buys your shit or not is uncool. Looking like you care about anything is uncool. (Even, paradoxically, your hair.)
We look at the guys sending out the big, flashy Boxing Day flyers and we cringe. Oh, how LAME. We look at the “WOW!” and roll our eyes. You know the gold dude on the commercial, trying to get you to sell him your old jewellery? PUH-LEASE. Ick.
But that’s what gets asses in the seats. And we want asses in the seats.
I’m having a sale right now. It’s a good one. One of the biggest reasons certain people don’t buy from IttyBiz is because they don’t have a business yet. They figure they’ll buy something when they really need it. So I finally went and made a product for people who don’t have businesses yet. (Why it took me so long to do this is a mystery only known by God.) Then I put it on sale, so that those people would have added incentive to try us out.
And I don’t want to send the email. I have the email. I have the lovingly prepared spreadsheet with email addresses. I have the sales page. But I’m not pulling the trigger. Why?
Because I don’t want to be lame.
I don’t want to make a big fuss.
I don’t want to look desperate.
I don’t want to look like another dumb info product salesperson, hawking their wares on Boxing Day.
Understandable feelings, right?
But let’s say I get over myself and make a little fuss. Let’s say 500 people buy this thing. Wouldn’t be unreasonable, given the numbers we’re talking about. $147 on for $47 is a pretty good deal. What’s that make me?
$23,500.
I’m going to leave twenty-three grand on the table because it might make me look uncool???
What Your Feelings Have To Do With Your Marketing
Fuck all.
Your MORALS have to do with your marketing.
Your CAPACITY has to do with your marketing.
Your ABILITY TO SLEEP AT NIGHT has to do with your marketing.
But your feelings? They’re just getting in the way, dude.
Now go buy Summer Camp Winter Camp. It’s a hundred dollars off. WOW!
I love your blog! You are right on, I had to learn a lot of the stuff you teach the hard way & I am so happy I can read your blog now & buy your products and skip over mistakes I would have made else wise.
Question though, when you say marketing can be lame but effective does that mean it still has to fit within your brand’s image or not? Lets say I own a boutique on Melrose… its a classy joint (note: I would never/could never deal with that kind of biz, but just pretend) and I find out that it is VERY effective to put out neon sandwich board in front of my store to bring people in… but it also completely clashes with the ‘brand’ image I’m going for. What do you suggest?
Do you mold your brand around effective advertising or vice versa?
Thanks!!
Maren, my thoughts are, do based on what your goals are.
Immediate sales? Neon sign.
Long-term brand building (a la Apple)? No sign.
Some businesses don’t worry about image. The moving of their product and generating of profits is the main goal and the only goal.
But for others, building a brand an image, and then using THAT as a tool for selling (“oh, if it’s made by ___, then it must be good”), is a long-term goal where sacrifices are made (such as no neon signs).
When you pass an Apple store, you walk into it because it a) looks cool, b) you know is Apple, or c) people tell or show you it’s great. No neon signs there :)
Just thought I’d chime in my two cents,
Oleg
“recreational pursuits are not worth pursuing if they don’t run at least a marginal risk of heart failure. I mean, seriously. Where’s the fun?)”
I was just talking to a friend last night.
The only really effective way I can clear my head is extreme sports. As in: “If I don’t pay attention, I’m gonna die.”
Big surf.
Deep caves.
Tall cliffs.
Strangely, stuff like “deadlines” don’t seem so important when you’re turning blue and your ears are filling with sand and it’s all dark and you can’t figure out which way is up.
It’s not that I even *want* to do these things that much. But I have to do something, right?
What is this glucosomething? Will it make me a better blogger? Faster? Might be a bargain. At any price.
Hey Dave
If it’s expensive and has gluco at the beginning it’s probably Glucosamine – it’s helps with osteoarthritic pain and can supposedly help restore cartilage.
It has very clever marketing (I think I’ve read somewhere) you need to take it for about 3-4 months before you notice an improvement – by which time you can’t remember if it helped or not but don’t want to stop taking the stuff just in case!!
Sounds like it may come in handy for you one day with your love of extreme sports…. (I’d like to say I know what you mean but extreme allotmenting doesn’t quite have the same ring to it).
Please, Naomi, do make a fuss. People need Summer Camp; they want summer camp, but they think they can’t spend $147 on another product to help them create that business they’ve been dreaming about. They’ve tried lots of things and are still stuck. They wanted to buy Summer Camp during the summer. They like you and they like your stuff, but the $147 was just a little more than they thought they could manage.
But THEN, you came up with an excellent deal and offered it for only $47 (really, WOW!) and they will be grateful. They will THANK YOU for letting them send you some money, because this is a price they can afford and they are so desperate to get their own Itty Biz together so they can finally get out of their crap jobs.
Please make a fuss and let all of the people like me know about the deal. I hit the payment button as soon as I saw the tweet. And seriously, is there anything any more adorable than Jack saying “Ittybiz.com”???
Just sayin’
There is NOTHING more adorable. It makes me smile right away, every time I listen to a SpeakEasy call. If I was suspiciously-minded, I’d think it was some sort of psychological conditioning ploy on Naomi’s part… ;-)
Thanks for the reminder that my feelings have nothing to do with my marketing. I forget that pretty much every day of the week.
Also, I find I’ve got this sudden and overwhelming urge to say “WOW!” at the end of every sentence….
Great points, Naomi!
I used to feel lame all the time sending out notices about sales and whatnot for my business.
I’m closing now, but I won’t be making that mistake with my next business! Thanks for the reminder!
You make some excellent points. And, also, I think you just sold me, so you’ve got that going for you. ;)
Ok Naomi, I’ve done it. I’ve stopped telling myself that nearly selling all the Beginner’s Garden Improvement Course places is a good enough result.
I’ve sent the email and put on the latest blog post pimping the fact that there are only 2 places left at a highly discounted price…
I was quite happy being an almost girl and languishing in Lamesville until I read your post. So when the last places sell, it will be all your fault!
Thank you ;o)
My feelings aren’t my morals.
Crap, how did I not make that distinction before?
It’s not does it feel lame, but *is it right?*
*whinny-lips*
I want to see the IttyBiz infomercial:
“In this PDF, you’ll get 48 action-packed pages, in FULL COLOR for easy readability. And it’s decorated with whimsical ninjas in full assassin garb, because we’re nothing if not whimsical here at IttyBiz central. This is for everyone: your foulmouthed grandmother can use it, your foulmouthed eight-year old with his lemonade stand, or even that special someone!”
P.S. I think Boxing Day is wicked.
Well said. I’m researching the whole ‘rent to buy’ process over here in Ireland.