Bookmark this page. You’ll see why in a minute.

I have a metric ass ton of stuff to throw at you, so settle in. Barring deportation issues, I’m going away for a month at the end of June, which means I have a lot of stuff I have to get going on. I’ll work a bit, but I’m sure as hell not launching stuff, so I’m doing it now. All in one shot. Prepare for your sweet, sexy mind to be blown.

Now Announcing Industry Specific Marketing Courses

Once upon a time, we asked you what you’d like to see in our new section called Free Marketing Courses. (It’s called Free Marketing Courses because they’re marketing courses that are free.) You answered, we made courses, and now we can all ride off into the sunset.

We have email courses on the following topics:

Marketing for Touchy Feely Airy Fairy Woo Woo Service Providers

Marketing for Bloggers: How To Get More Asses in the Seats

Marketing for Coaches and Consultants

Marketing for Designers and Other Artsy Fartsy Types

Marketing for Writers and People Who Do Cool Stuff With Words

Marketing for Geeks and Techie Types

Go. Get in on them. And tell your friends, because they’re killer.

Marketing For Nice People free stuff is almost gone.

If you want to get in on the free part of my newest baby with pink haired tsunami of awesome, Sonia Simone, now is the time. WE ARE GIVING THIS SHIT AWAY. The classes include (but are not limited to):

* Non Asshole Copywriting

* How to write emails that people actually read

* How to turn your customers into voluntary zombies

Obviously, you’ll want to get in on this for the zombies alone. Soon — like REALLY soon — we’re taking this stuff down because we are not insane and are not just going to give stuff away forever. Go to Marketing For Nice People if you want in. Even if you don’t have time to learn it right now, you’d be pretty dumb not to at least go and save them to your computer somewhere.

Changing the Fucking World, Part 2

Among my favorite people on earth are Pace and Kyeli, the freakiest pair of unschooling transgendered polyamorous lesbians you’ll ever find in a nice little suburban house in Texas. When they are not kicking ass and taking names as alternative relationship coaches — I know they kick ass because I have paid them money for it and come out happier at the end — they are changing the world.

Not content to hang around changing the world quietly — when you meet Kyeli, you’ll know there’s not much she does that’s quiet — they went out and got themselves a new baby. Not an actual baby, because babies, you know, throw up and stuff. They have a new baby called the Freak Revolution that I think is just about the coolest shit evah.

Many of my chats with P&K have revolved around the topics contained within a post I wrote called Things, Chains, and Changing the Fucking World. As P&K are also into changing the world and getting you out of your shitty ass life, we mesh well.

Imagine my delight when they told me about their newest project, dedicated to galvanizing those of us who don’t fit the mold and helping us change the world. With your ittybiz. With your little non-profit. With unschooling your kids. With creating sustainable food. Whatever your thing is, P&K want to give you a cool place to hang out while you do it.

I got on the phone with the charming P&K and we dubbed our interview Things, Chains and Changing the Fucking World, Part 2. It has nothing to do with marketing. It has a lot to do with me getting my rant on. But if you’re in the mood for some fun and you think the world needs too much help for you to sit around watching Prison Break, you might want to check it out.

Go here.

Making Your Uniqueness Make Sense

The most common problem most ittybizzers have with marketing is figuring out the Unique Selling Proposition. As in, the thing that makes you different from the other losers. The problem is, if you weren’t dreaming about conversion rates while you were still in the womb, it’s kind of hard to wrap your head around.

Therefore, we have asked the very nice people in our IttyBiz Approved Awesomeness section to help explain — in English as opposed to Marketingese — how they came up with their USP, how they convey it, and how they basically rock. They’re going to pour their businesses out on the table for you so you can understand how real, successful ittybiz owners are getting and keeping clients and customers. Cool, huh?

So for the next couple of weeks, we’re going to be talking about that a lot. Go buy a new notebook and some cute gel pens, because you’re going to need them.

Oh, and one more thing

Put your drink down, get a hankie, and read Everything Is Gonna Be Alright. Johnny… rock the fuck on, you crazy son of a bitch. It has been an honor. God knows what crazy shit you’ll come up with next.