Home Business Marketing: Where To Spend Your Money, Part 1
(Note: This post is for and about people who are running or want to be running a home business. The kind of business where someone gives you money in exchange for a product or service. This is not about recreational blogging so don’t even bother typing up the email saying it doesn’t apply to you. I know it doesn’t. I never said it did.)
You don’t have any money right now. I understand – nobody does. Even if your business is already off the ground, you were broke for so damn long that you’ve already spent what money you’ve got. But you have to market yourself and your business, and more often than not, it’s going to cost you something.
When you are broke and starting your own business, there is only one question you need to ask when considering spending any cash.
Will anybody notice?
That’s really all you need to ask. Since 88 words does not really a blog post make, though, I’ll continue. Today, we’ll talk about websites.
If you are reading this blog, you are active on the internet. I’m guessing you’re not reading for tips on how to get your local house-sitting business off the ground. (If you are, call me. Damn, have I got ideas.) You either have, or will soon have, a website.
WHYWHYWHY do people cheap out on their websites? WHY?
[Warning: The rant, it is a-comin’. It may, in fact, have already arrived.]
Back in the day (and by “the day” I refer to pretty much anything that took place before 1994), to start a business you had to try. You had to work. You had to bust your ass, you had to have a lot of capital, you had to rally the troops. You got your poor family and friends to pull all-nighters and it was hard.
Now, though, every jackass with an internet connection thinks they’re going to be the next John Chow. (Hint: there is only one John Chow.) They whip out their credit card, they slap down nine bucks for a domain name, and away they go. They’re on their way to riches.
There are no words that are appropriate on this site (and as you know, many, many words are appropriate on this site) that can describe how much this pisses me off.
If you are just starting out, fine. If you don’t know if you’re going to stick to blogging, fine. If you just want to talk about the boy in your Sociology of Worm Colonies class who asked you out and you don’t know what to wear, fine. But if you want to make money, you have to get a nice site.
Think of the person you admire most professionally. Would this site be good enough for them? No? Then it’s not good enough for you. Bottom line. That’s it, folks.
If you are a web designer, you may go ahead. No-one else gets a pass.
Other things to know about professional site stuff:
1.) Get good hosting. The potential for embarrassment and lost opportunities with crappy hosting is limitless. Spend the money.
2.) Pay your bill. This one time? Like last week? My credit card expired? And IttyBiz disappeared? NOT COOL.
3.) Get branded email. If you’re just blogging, gmail is fine. If you expect anybody to pay you money at any point, you are you@yourrockinsite.com. (In fact, you could actually have that address. The domain is available. Yes, I checked. Yes, I’m a loser.)
4.) Listen to your designer. If they say it’s going to look stupid, it’s probably going to look stupid. Do you like it when someone pays you to do your job and then promptly tells you you’re not doing it right? Neither do they.
5.) Eliminate anything that interrupts the user experience. Offer a cash reward to people who alert you to broken links if you have to. If it would be unacceptable on the Tiffany website (I mean the jeweler, not the singer) it is unacceptable on yours.
6.) Watch your user-generated content. This one was contributed by Bill, who I love dearly and who has saved my ass on many more than one occasion. Bill was trying to buy a turtleneck for his wife. (Bill, if your wife is reading this and it was a surprise, sorry dude.) His credit card was in his hand when he noticed a comment from a buyer saying something derogatory about his own wife. Bill’s not the kind of guy who digs that sort of thing, so he left. Bought his turtleneck elsewhere, thank you very much. If you’re just running a blog, this isn’t too much of a big deal. But when you’re selling anything, you have to be careful about the impact of your users and comments. It might break your sale. In my case, I don’t happen to care, but I’m not selling turtlenecks. If you’re selling turtlenecks, you should care.
A great site doesn’t have to be expensive. Yes, it’s more expensive than Blogger, but so is tap water. Interview. Ask for referrals. Email strangers and ask them who did their site. (I get at least 10 emails a week from people wanting to know who designed mine.)
We will continue to discuss where to spend your money until I’m sick of talking about it.
If you are already sick of talking about it, check these out instead:
Do You Want 91,200 People Complaining They Can’t Get Your Phone Number?
Have A Back-Up Plan That Doesn’t Suck
The Art And Science Of No Bullsh*t Business Cards
If you’re not sick of me yet, you could subscribe. It might be fun. Or you might cry. You take your chances.
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Next Post: Home Business Marketing: Where To Spend Your Money, Part 2
Number 4 makes me want to cry a little inside. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN OF THE DESIGNERS! BUT YOU DO!
/emotion
Do you like it when someone pays you to do your job and then promptly tells you you’re not doing it right?
I want to print it and hang it. On my head. Where everyone can see.
Also, my website is broken too, right now. Hosting service people took my money and ran after 4 years. So I am locked in a battle to get my (awesome) domain name back.
I have one to add there… especially since it’s burning me right now. Test, test, test, test. Did I say test? Test every feature on every platform and every browser you expect a customer to use. If you are doing a custom site test little details like registering users from different email accounts. I say this one because I launched my beta site and immediately got 75% of my registration emails bouncing. I tested email but my email server was fine. It ignored a slight header bug that places like hotmail had a fit over. Luckily the bounces occurred with some friends who I had try it first.
@Kat - Good luck getting it back!
@Rose: Thanks! Good point about the testing. At work, I am the master “fool”- I can almost always break someone’s code. Which sounds bad but in theory is a good thing.
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools” -Douglas Adams
I’ll add some: Don’t cheap down your website. Adsense? Oh come on, do you really think that adds anything to your site? Fun, cute widgets? Some are cool - most are not. Get ones that add to your business, not to your entertainment value. Pink and black banners? Good for yummy mummies. Bad for business.
You rock, you really do. This made my day. Most people really don’t understand how important a nice website is. I cry inside every time I see a yucky site that isn’t serving any good purpose for the business, no kidding.
Thanks for the plug Naomi!
This is the best rant-disguised-as-advice that I’ve seen in a while. Thanks for the laugh, and for the all too true words of advice.
Hello lovely readers,
WordPress is back sending me my comments again, which is nice. It changes every once in a while. A little comment love, then nothing. Rinse and repeat.
Anyhoo…
@ Kat - That is horrible and wretched. Your domain is fantastic. Assholes. In other news, though, with this:
I want to print it and hang it. On my head.
you just became my new best friend. Sorry, Dora and Diego, the spot has been filled. Love the quote, by the way.
@ Rose - You’re right re: testing, although it’s above my head. When I’m not here, I’m at firstwivesworld.com and we just did a major relaunch. The IE pains - OMG!!! The double comments!! The poor tech guys were busting their asses but there’s only so fast you can work, you know?
@ James - Someday, when I can find it, I’ll send you the email I sent out to all my designer possibilities spewing venom about AdSense. When I become the CEO of Google they’ll probably fire me over it.
@ some other Naomi (which I think is hilarious, by the way) - That’s because you’re good. You give a shit. This is good. Giving a shit will make you rich. Either that or wildly admired. I haven’t figured out which is worse yet.
@ Chris - It’s laziness, really. If I keep putting it up on the site, people will quit emailing me. (Kidding, potential emailers. Relax. Email. It’s cool.)
@ Mason - I hoped you’d like it. Seemed like it might be your thing. :)
NUMBER 4!!!! YES! Naomi, you have no idea how you just made my day.
*glances below the submit button - nearly falls out of chair. Notifications! Yay!*
My dear, you are truly a goddess today.
*totally is the best best friend ever :)*
*totally is high on percocet*
seriously, are you following me around? i’m in freak-out ‘how can i get noticed and sell more bagz’ mode. it’s not fun, but i’m already one step in the right direction with a killer website. i’ll go ahead and brag that it’s freaking fantastic.
i’d like to add one thing to the list: listen to your audience/people you admire if they give you suggestions that mean change. today, i got great advice from a ms. liz strauss on the setup of our site and how you buy our bagz. as a result, we are changing how we sell; completely. be open to change and suggestions. if what you originally planned isn’t working the way you want, don’t be afraid to admit it and seek help/advice. even if it means changing something major or re-designing a part of the site.
there are my two cents, worth two hundred cents.
@ Kat - If your percocet is for something pain related, I hope you feel better. If your percocet is for recreational purposes only, I’m sure you feel just fine the way it is. :)
@ Erin - Yes. Liz knows her shit. Shoot me an email when the new buy process is up, I’d love to take a look.
[...] yesterday’s mandate was that you should only be spending money on the things that people notice. No notice, no spend. [...]
[...] Original post by Naomi Dunford [...]
i am going to jump on the bandwagon and say #4=yay!
i will refuse to work with clients that don’t value my input or opinion. i am not arrogant and i am not the best, but you came to me for a reason, so suck it up princess, not YOU, the client.
PEACE!
Ha! No, I got my 22-year-old tonsils out today. Apparently age makes all the difference in pain. AND they were the worst my doctor had ever seen-which makes me oddly proud.
I can send you some for your migraine but it tastes like ass. Am I allowed to say that here?
I was wondering what your opinion was on traditional business cards versus these new Moo Cards. I love the shape of them, but any “business” person might abhor that they don’t fit with his other business cards. But I am also marketing myself to just design firms right now… So maybe they would like a small amount of ingenuity?
@Mason - the rant IS the advice! Another home run Naomi …
@ Kat - Moo rules. Will likely post about them at some point. I will repeat for emphasis… Moo Rules.
[...] it’s a technical skill like Photoshop or PHP, or just some good old snarky marketing know-how, you know there’s been something that’s been stuck on the back burner for all 12 months [...]