Moral of the Story: Reveal Yourself Edition
Regular IttyBiz readers will know that every now and again, when I do something really fucking stupid, I’ll write about it here and teach you a valuable business lesson at the same time. Because I’m cool like that.
If you were paying attention and actually read the monster home business resources post, you’ll have seen my warning about Skype. If you haven’t, I’ll recap here and say that Skype is WONDERFUL. It took me forever to suck it up and get it but it has totally changed the way I do business. I heart Skype. It has saved me a boatload of money and hassle and is generally awesome.
Except. (You know how they say, “there’s always a but”? Not true. Sometimes there’s an “except”.) If you’ve read any of the must read books/magazines/blogs about home business, you’ll know that the first order of business when you go out on your own is to treat your home office like you would treat a real office. Take it seriously, they tell you.
Wear work clothes.
Put shoes on.
Don’t drink before noon and if you must, do so out of a clean glass.
Never one for following convention, I have blatantly disregarded this advice and that disregard has served me well. I run a pretty successful little IttyBiz. I have clients and book sales and money. All is generally well.
Yesterday I got to talk to a client for the first time. (My first time talking to THAT client, not any client.) Since this client lives in Australia and neither of us wanted to give up on the opportunity to send our children to college just to pay for long distance, we used Skype.
The conversation is going well. We are getting to know each other. We are discussing USPs and target demographics and sales strategies. Here’s a brief excerpt of our conversation:
Client: We should do video. I don’t know what you look like, except for that you have a shaved head.
Me: Cool. How do I do that again?
Client: Click the little video button.
Me: (clicking aforementioned little video button) There. Is it working?
Client: [pause] I love that you’re wearing lipstick but no shirt.
Here’s a little quote from the home business resources post I mentioned earlier. It’s important to note that I WROTE THIS POST and I did so only a week and a half ago.
“My only issue with Skype is that people keep asking me to video call with them and I generally prefer to work topless while smoking. You can imagine how well THAT goes over.”
Moral of the Story: Beware technology. It will fuck you.
If you’re new to Moral of the Story, check out these similar tales of woe:
Moral of the Story: Operation Iraqi Freedom Edition, wherein I try to sell the residents of Guantanamo Bay at half price via AdWords.
Moral of the Story: Violent Snuggling Edition, wherein I am caught by my husband in a compromising position.
Moral of the Story: Neocitran Edition, wherein we find out why I am no longer a freelance writer.
Moral of the Story: Marketing to Alcoholics Edition, the one that made Moral of the Story famous.
*ROTF* *gasp* *wheeze* Oh no. Brilliant. I could so imagine myself doing this. Awesome.
I’m sorry. I’ll stop laughing - eventually.
You see, this is why I refuse to buy a webcam ;) I know it will find a way to fuck me. Also means I’m stuck with my iBook for the next few decades, since all those fancy new laptop models have cams built in!
Seriously, good one.
Oh please tell me you were joking! :O
And THAT by the way is why I only hook up my webcam when I’m specifically going to be using it. No, I don’t work topless, LOL, but despite my recent attempt to get back to my Fly Lady routines, one thing I don’t know if I’ll ever grasp is the whole idea of getting dressed with pretty makeup and hair, just to be in my home office. :P
Thanks for sharing this warning though - I’m so sorry it had to happen to you…
See, look how selfless you are: making mistakes so we don’t have to.
From now on, every time I click a video button, I will think of you, topless. (That didn’t come out right, but I”m sure you know what I mean….) ; )
And your Skype numbers is… ?
Don’t feel so bad. I usually do the Ace Ventura spread-the-ass-cheeks-talking-rectum thing. Imagine the surprise when I “do video” while using Skype with someone.
Oh, man, that is the funniest thing I’ve read in days. Seriously, thanks for sharing that. Now let’s hope vicarious learning actually works.
Gotta say, though, that making sure I have a shirt on before doing a video chat would be more for my client’s benefit than my own!
So. Do your clients love your transparency? I had one say this to me (that they appreciated my transparency online) and all I could think was “Hmm, you know I’m a neurotic A.D.D. clumsy freak goofball, and you *still* want to hire me?”
I actually laughed out loud. The no shirt was good, but the wearing lipstick really made it funny.
LOL. Poor Naomi. I have to agree that I appreciate being able to learn all these lessons vicariously instead of having to do them myself. Huh. That’d be an interesting business: We Make Mistakes So You Don’t Have To. Or a stupid tagline maybe.
Enquiring minds want to know….is this person still your client?
Too, too funny. But, as they say on Digg, “it ain’t true without pictures!”
I was keeping one eye on Twhirl (the app. I use for Twitter) while I was working when I saw this tweet roll through:
Had there been any liquid in my mouth at the time, I would not be typing this because my laptop would be toast.
Ok, that is too funny. I love your priorities: lipstick - tick; basic articles of clothing - hmm, maybe later.
Is the client still a client? They deserve a hundred million points for maintaining their composure and their sense of humour. I’m glad to hear they were Australian; makes us look good ;-)
I am not entirely sure of the etiquette here but as Naomi has spilled the beans I guess I can ‘fess up that I am The Client.
What she says is absolutely true.
I knew from the IttyBiz blog that Naomi is a very ‘up-front’ lady and she did not disappoint :)
Being, as we were, in a creative brain-storming mood, we took a moment to consider the value-add service potential of topless Skype calls but decided that was best suited for a different kind of business.
And for those that asked, I was delighted with my consult and most certainly will remain an IttyBiz client (believe me, you would too if you saw Naomi in the raw).
Um, wow. I accidentally called the same client twice on Skype, but nothing quite like that. I don’t work topless, so the chances of that something like that happening are pretty slim anyway. The lipstick is awesome though.
Knowing Naomi the way I do,She probably left out the fact that she was sitting on a park bench having a coffe. After all going topless isn’t against the law here in good ol Ontario Canada.
Hey, your client’s a Queenslander too. All this fun was probably happening up the road or something. ;)
The funny thing for me is that because we’ve been going to “clothing optional” places for so many years, if I had been the client I might not have noticed anything odd for a while..
Naomi,
Ah hahahahahaha. You are delightful, and I admire Rebecca for outing herself so gracefully.
Sometimes I forget the lipstick, but I never forget the shirt!
New rule: client meetings from your away-from-home office, then you’ll probably (?) be dressed.
My jaw fell on the floor somewhere. I have to go pick it up now.
Regards,
Kelly
Sounds like unfair business practices to me.
How does a balding middle-aged man compete with that?
This is the essence of Ittybiz. Thinking outside the box. Or the shirt. Whatever.
I almost got tossed from the coffee shop cause I laughed so hard. Odd enough, I have been working on a project where one of the contributors loves to use video mail. Several times I have brought up the topic that he needs to either change the angle of the camera or put on something with long sleeves since it looks like he’s topless. I personally don’t care but our clients get cc’ed on occasion. I know I like to get dressed and “go to the office” as it sets up the right frame of mind.
LOL! I once interviewed the mayor in my underwear. She was in a limo; I was across town in my home office. Thank heavens I did not have Skype.
Cheers!
You’ve just described why I don’t like to give my Skype details to anyone ….LOL…
Okay, when you said you answered the Skype call without a shirt the other day, you didn’t mention that you weren’t wearing a shirt. That adds a whole context of humor there.
I love Rebecca’s composure. That’s awesome - I don’t know what I would have done, really. Hopefully asked whether it was part of the service or whether I had to send extra.
I read this post this morning at about 8:30 or so. It’s now noon and I had to come back to read it again. I’ve been laughing out loud all morning!
Are you going to start charging more for your phone calls now that there might be a chance of added entertainment?
Naomi’s going to have to change the name to… WAIT FOR IT…
TittyBiz.
Yeah, I know, first time you EVER heard that one.
@ MM — Oh, you DIDN’T.
Wait. Yup. I think you did.
Naomi’s probably going to kill me for this, but I have to say when she told me what happened my first response was “Wait a minute… you were wearing lipstick?”
Oh shit that’s funny. I can’t believe I found your blog today for the first time because a friend reviewed your SEO School and said you swore like a drunken sailor. Being a drunken sailor myself, I knew I had to verify this personally. Now I’m laughing so hard I’m almost peeing myself. Can’t wait to catch up on the archives, may need to do more Kegel exercises first.
Fear not. Boobs are cool; pretty nearly everybody likes them.
Too funny! I do believe you’ve found your ‘calling’. Get it? ‘Calling’. Nope?
Erm.
I’ll shut up now.
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Hahahahahaha, exactly the reason I won’t use a webcam at home, hahahahahahahahaha………………
Hope the lipstick was bright red! Too funny!!!
… “out of a clean glass” … Gotta add that one to my list.
Right after “wear lipstick sans shirt” … Nice.
OMG…Absolutely classic… I’m still laughing…