On Swearing, Home Business, And Blogging
I’m going to try very hard not to swear too much in this post, I promise. Well, I promise to try, anyway.
I read an interesting article on Blogging Without A Blog, called Blog Loses Massive Traffic Due To Profanity. (Thanks, Nez, for the pointer to this post.) It showcases a fictionalized letter to a fictional blogger from a university, saying that because of the use of profanity on a blog, the university would be blocking access to the site. In the writer’s response, she says “a seven year old could be reading your blog…. it could be your own child, or grandchild.” One of the points made, both in the post itself and in the comments section, is that many bloggers would not want universities, schools, or parents blocking a blog from their computer.
This comes very recently after one of my regular commentators told me that there were many times when she considered unsubscribing from IttyBiz, partly due to the swearing. I thought I’d take on that issue.
I wish I could say that I’ve put a lot of thought into the swearing on IttyBiz issue, but frankly, I haven’t. I briefly thought about keeping the swearing out, if only because my mother-in-law reads this, and decided against it. I realized that it is my home business blog, and I’ll say what I want to. I try not to put swear words in header text, in case someone’s kid or boss is looking over their shoulder, but other than that, I pretty much don’t think about it.
I have a couple of thoughts here. One, if someone wants to unsubscribe or block access to your blog because of its content — regardless of their criteria for doing so — you cannot stop them and you shouldn’t try. You’ll never please everybody. My readers are adults, my target market is adults, and I would seriously wonder about how a seven year old found themselves here. If I ran a site on something more interesting to young children, well, that would be different. When I launch my Bible reading blog for teens (something that I have seriously considered, by the way) I won’t exactly be running around yelling “motherfucker” hither and thither.
Secondly, and I’m not going to even go into my theories on censorship because we’d all be here for a very long time, I would consider it fairly hypocritical for a university to block access to a website that contains swear words but not literature that contains the same. That particular breed of intellectual snobbery — if it’s in print, it’s okay, but if it’s online, it’s smut — is something I have no time for. It’s rife within many echelons of the academic community, and I don’t think one should change oneself to suit their whims.
Lastly, when deciding whether or not to swear on your blog or in your novel or as a part of your doctoral thesis, you need to understand your purpose. I was reading a review of a Louise Bagshawe novel (British chick lit writer in the sex and shopping genre) written by a 13 year old girl. She was saying that she liked the sex scenes in this particular book because they weren’t as repetitive as the ones in other similar works. I am not going to put detailed descriptions of sex acts in my blog because it’s not appropriate. I think it’s perfectly appropriate within the context of a book like that one.
If Louise Bagshawe took the sex out of her books because young people might be reading them, she wouldn’t have books anymore, and she would lose a tremendous portion of the readers she already has. Losing 80% of your readers for the possibility of getting 10% more is nor a smart business decision. Perhaps, if the parents of 13-year-olds don’t want them reading sex scenes, they should take a smidgen of responsibility for what their children are reading.
My blog has two purposes. One, I want to provide a gathering place for like-minded people. If certain people who find themselves at my blog are offended by its content, we are not like-minded. It’s not their fault, but it’s not mine either.
Two, I want to get clients who are not pains in the ass. I swear on the phone and I swear over email and I swear in my blog and I swear in person. People who don’t mind that sometimes become clients, which is cool. We end up having a pleasant and relaxed working relationship, and nobody is under any illusions. One of the reasons I work in my own company is because I have a hard time following certain rules. If I make the expectations clear from the get go, my life is a lot simpler and a lot happier. That’s my decision, but it doesn’t have to be yours.
Many of my customers have expressed concerns about alienating portions of their potential readership by incorporating certain types of content. Politics, religion, and abortion seem to be hot topics of concern, as is swearing. Personally — and it can only be a personal decision, there is no hard and fast answer — I think that deliberate censorship of matters that are important to you as an individual is not an effective long-term strategy.
If you’re adamantly pro-choice or pro-life, if you love or hate Bush with a passion, or if you don’t want readers who can’t accept that you are a born-again Christian, you may as well say so. Figuring out what you can say to whom, when you can say it, and where it is or isn’t appropriate is exhausting enough — you may as well not bring the internal conflict to your own blog.
Rated R is rated R. It is what it is. Some people are going to be offended by Pulp Fiction or Trainspotting and some people are going to find them wonderful. If you are offended, or if you have particularly precocious children with the tendency to raid your DVD collection while you’re not in the room, you probably shouldn’t buy them. Otherwise, you might want to. It’s not rocket science.
I liked Barbara’s post, because it did provide me with something to think about, something that is sadly missing in a lot of blog posts these days. After thinking, I retained the conclusion I had before, but good for her for putting it out there.
***
Want a small business marketing consultant of your very own? Click here to get started.
Hi Naomi,
How happy that made me…to give you inspiration for this great post. That’s what is great about blogging, you get to show your personality.
I love what you said in your “About” page… “Jamie thought it was easier to just let her blog about it instead of constantly rambling while he’s trying to study. Little did he know, this site gave her more to ramble about, not less.”
That’s precious.
Thank you for the link. :)
Thanks Naomi, I agree entirely with what you’re saying. Though I don’t swear all that often in my blog, I think I can get by without it, I have been known to throw a few choice words around. This is why I love blogging, it’s the one last place permissible (or I hope anyway) where I can say what I want, when I want. That’s a beautiful thing.
I agree.
I swear a lot.
It’s both big and clever.
If prospects don’t like it I reckon our working relationship will be pretty shitty and I’d rather turn the work down.
So there.
The thing is, Naomi, you’re consistent. Everyone knows how you write, and they can decide if they want to read it. I’d prefer that you dropped the profanity, but you can’t please everyone. And trying to please everyone will just water it down too much.
But I think you can get into trouble when you’re inconsistent. It wouldn’t be a good idea to have Snow White drop an f-bomb and lose the G rating. But in Pulp Fiction, one more wouldn’t matter. I seriously doubt Quentin Tarantino ever thought “You know, I might be offending some people here. I’d better trim it down to a lean 256 f-bombs.”
Thank you for pointing out the level of hypocrisy in the choice to censor “low” art versus “high” art.
I deal with that particular prejudice against my own line of work on a daily basis and absolutely bristle when I see it at work in any way shape or form.
Thanks so much for the fightin’ words and the support of those of us who use them in daily life.
C*
I completely agree that it’s your blog, so you can do what you want with it. I don’t swear on my blog, and I don’t swear in person. Personal preference. You swear on your blog, and you swear in person. Again, personal preference. But overall, I’d much rather get the real you, fighting and swearing, than a watered-down version of you!
Browse to my blog and you’ll see, right there in the post at the top, the completely gratuitous F-bomb I dropped.
I debated on whether to do it… for about ten seconds.
I decided that the people who will one day read and enjoy my novels aren’t going to give two shits that I use salty language on my blog. And the people who’d object to my swearing on the blog probably won’t like my stories, either.
Merde Naomi- the sheer quality of your swearing is an art form. As a polite southern women I have been raised not to swear, or at least to swear in code. So sometimes a good stiff rant from Naomi is as bracing as a shot of straight bourbon…medicinal , doncha know.
All best,
Jan
That would be woman, not women. oops. JC
Are you frickin’ kidding me? This is what is wrong with the world today. To many sheeple following each other straight over the cliff! @#ck That! I’m so sick of political correctness seeping into every crack and crevice. No one having an original idea or occasional swear word to express how they really feel. I suppose I should take out the word “prick” from one of my blog posts lest I offend anyone happening upon my blog…..yes I will follow you in all my politically correct goodness-my lobotomy is complete! I say screw da’ man-he’s a prick!
Dear Naomi,
Hello from the reg. who’s thought about unsubscribing. This is twice in one day a blogger has goaded me into responding on a post, and I gotta say it gives me the warm fuzzies.
I hope I made it clear in the comment that you refer to, that I laugh and cry and happily kiss fifteen minutes goodbye every time I read a post of yours. I think your blog rocks or I wouldn’t have subscribed in the first place, because it’s not like you started swearing after I came on board. You have neither surprised nor (mainly) offended me, although occasionally my ears do turn a bit pink at your rawness. Then I generally laugh out loud and get over myself.
Here, as with a t.v. or magazine, I have the option of turning off the “channel.” I get you in my email so all I have to do is remember not to open yours until it’s an R-rated time of day. I’m totally good with that. I could turn off the channel permanently, as I do with cable movie channels, but I don’t think I could do without your unvarnished take on life. Sometimes you remind me of a younger self; sometimes you’re like an alter ego, saying things in a way I just wouldn’t. (Sometimes, you’re just gross, and that’s a crack-up.)
The fact is that for my clients, for my blog, for my style, it wouldn’t work. Some people think it’s cute that I still blush. I swear like a sailor only at moments that work for me, which are clearly fewer than they are for you. :) Then, I’d probably make the sailor blush.
Now if you get boring, I’m outta here. But it doesn’t look like there’s a chance of that.
Regards,
Kelly
Darlin’, let me tell you, reading your blog is mild compared to watching an episode of HBO’s Deadwood.
This is your style, this is what you do. The only time I cuss up a rukus is when I’m pissed beyond all measure - just ask James, it scares the hell out of him. When I do it on MwP, it’s for the same reason.
Anyway, don’t change. There are so few places left where adults can roam free without having to worry about being kid-safe. I mean, c’mon, we all grew up without bicycle helmets, anti-bacterial soap, violent cartoons, and Dad cursing away when he slammed his thumb with a hammer in the garage. We turned out just fine.
Or rather…most of us did.
Yeah, like Harry said.
We are businesspeople and we are bloggers. We are humans, first and foremost, each with our own distinct experiences, upbringing and personalities. We have been shaped and molded into who we are, and we’re still struggling with that (well, most of us are) daily.
I am who I am. I swear often. I live in Quebec, where swearing is its own art form and where curse words are used as nouns, verbs, in laughter, in sadness and in anger. They are part of our everyday life.
For someone to chastise me for swearing is akin to telling me that I am not valuable in their eyes. I’m sorry, fuck you. Accept me as I am, or get out of my life, because at 36, I don’t need anyone telling me what to do. I am James, Quebecer and Canadian, and the fact that I swear is no reflection whatsoever on my abilities, skills, talents or self-worth.
I am somewhat careful online. I am somewhat careful in real life. I swear when it is natural to do so and it comes out. I don’t stop it. I don’t make a point of using it either, but if fuck or shit or crap sums up what I want to say in four words versus fourty, then so be it.
Am I a poor father because I swear? No. Am I a bad role model? No, in fact, I’m not. From a young age, my children are exposed to words that are everyday and they do not use them any more than any other child.
What is taboo is tempting. What is commonplace is nothing. My teen swears when she’s vividly angry and upset and can’t find the right words to sum up her emotions. I let her. The sky doesn’t fall in. She doesn’t swear any other time.
My toddler swears as well. I’ve heard a low muttered “jesus christ” and “damn” when Dora’s shirt wouldn’t go on properly. I said nothing, she felt better for venting, and the shirt went on. When she has a tantrum, she doesn’t swear. In public, she doesn’t swear either.
There is no particular attraction in what is usual and used.
While I respect that others don’t swear, others must respect the fact that I do. If a stupid four-letter word that has some sort of assocation attached shocks them, well… I think there are far worse things to be shocked over, such as the amount of mercury in drinking water that comes from “pristine” lakes near my mountain home or the level of air pollution in Las Vegas that makes Harry sick.
Shocking is that my daughter knows 4 people in her class who’ve had sex at 14 with no protection. Shocking is that I know someone who is a raging alcoholic and who abuses his wife. Shocking is watching his family turn a blind eye.
Fuck is not shocking. Fuck is just a word.
I’m from Brooklyn. I didn’t even notice you cursing ’till last week!
I know, I’m full of ****. About noticing. Not the Brooklyn part.
/rarely shocked
I love that you swear up a storm. I feel like I can be a little looser in the comments here, if I want to. But on my own blog, don’t swear very much at all. When I’m acting in a professional capacity, it almost never feels right to me to swear. That’s how I’m wired, I guess.
I really doubt a 7 year old would be reading a blog on blogging or how to make a living online from home. If this kid doesn’t see any cursing on a blog, they’ll see/hear it somewhere else. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve heard a parent tell their kid to shut the fuck up at the portrait studio I work.
Art is colorful and stuff, but my blog isn’t aimed at 7 year olds, so I curse when I feel the need. And hopefully the big kids can handle that.
Gosh, was I happy to read this post.
Maybe its because we have a somewhat similar writing style, but I really don’t see what others talk about.
Then again, I use the word “fuck” frequently, and the word “cunt” almost as frequently as that, both on my blog and in person, so I guess maybe I am blind to it ;)
And basically, what James said.
Don’t change for anyone.
For me this isn’t much of an issue. I write a PG rated blog because I’m pretty much a PG rated kind of person. The only real problem I have with swearing is that it sometimes becomes a substitute for real communication. In that case, swearing is just a crutch. But with you, Naomi, swearing is like a painter’s brush, letting you communicate all the more effectively.
This is difficult. I’m not offended by swearing at all. I do have to beep some of my own words out though. The difficult thing for me is that I know some of my regular readers don’t like swearing - including Barbara from Blogging Without A Blog and I don’t want to offend them.
I doubt whether kids would read my blog - my own kids do sometimes but only if they think I’ve written something remotely juicy, but they know I swear and they know I have sex too. Sometimes they’re not asleep when I think they are and they imitate the noises I make the next morning while we’re eating breakfast, which can be a bit embarrassing.
I think it’s up to the individual blogger. And you’re always going to offend somebody - no matter what you say. I know I really pissed a few people off when I accused folks who blog at work of stealing and there wasn’t a single swear word in there.
Swearing certainly did Gordon Ramsey no harm.
I do not usually (okay, ever) swear on my blog. It’s not that “flavor”. Although I have been tempted to say something along the lines of, “put down the friggin’ Moleskine and do something already!!”
Man, I learn a lot about myself from reading your stuff.
I like to see a blogger being natural and have no problem with them being themselves.
Personally, I try not to sware online since it seems like a loss of control in the knowledge that all kinds of people could be reading what you post.
I once got death threats from a forum contributor after I criticized their Ad for a safelist program, but I didn’t lose any sleep over it.
Keep up the good work.
Hmm, Naomi, it would seem that, to steal a scene from Bridget Jones…”[we] like you just the way you are. ”
When you have the substance to back up what you are presenting, people get that. Someone told me as recently as last week that I was giving people too much credit, that they are not as smart as all that. Well, I beg to differ.
I did not know that swearing was for Le Quebecois a national pastime. Hmm, does any one have a blog on the “art of swearing”… great swearing in literature, bon mots for every occasion, swearing effectively for fun and profit, hmmm, now there would be an interesting post….inquiring minds want to know.
Seriously, when the academics start censoring, civilization is on a slippery slope. Ethics, morals, appropriate behavior, those begin at home. Give your children the tools to deal effectively with what comes their way, not ignorance.
Ask, and ye shall receive, Janice:
http://www.amazon.ca/Speak-Quebec-Dan-Kraus/dp/2893962467
Swearing is not a pastime in Quebec. It is an integral part of the language, much as is the word “the” or “yes”. It’s *that* common.
Les bons mots: Crisse, calisse, tabernac, esti
Used for punctuation in both friendship and in anger.
Les mauvais mots: Crisse de tabernac, va chier mon esti d’calisse
Now we’re getting a little harsh.
Fun and profit: Crisse! Tabernac! T’as tu vu ca, calisse! Ben oui, mon esti! Wow!
I don’t swear much although I don’t have anything against it. I just think that a lot of people use it as fluff and make language poor. In my mind, profanity should be used in certain circumstances as a tool to accentuate a particular point you are trying to make, but not in order to sound “edgy” or “cool” or just because you can’t figure out how to say what you want to say any other way.
I’ve never read a post on this blog where I thought the profanity was excessive or unnecessary. You write eloquently with or without it and that’s what matters.
Not only is swearing an artform in Quebec, they call it sacré because it often incorporates terms from the Catholic faith. :) I have to say, I am the daughter of a Cajun who made a career of the United States Navy and even I was impressed. (By the Wikipedia entry on the subject, don’t ask me how I got there. I’ve never been to Canada.)
And that’s just it… some of us were raised hearing these words at home, and it just doesn’t faze us now.
@ Dana - Sacré means sacred. Sacrer means swear. One’s a noun, one’s a verb, pronounced completely different and mean different things… though from the same word. Correct, and very interesting.
I don’t swear on my blog, but I don’t avoid taking a stance on controversial issues either. The way I look at it, someone will always be unhappy with something I have to say! Great post!
ooh, I didn’t know I was indirectly-second-cousin-twice-removed responsible for prompting such a thought-provoking post.
As a rule I don’t swear in real life nor on my blog.
That said, I am not diametrically opposed (always wanted to say that) to it. I feel swearing in real life is something that can be done with “intimate” friends — but remember, the blogosphere is anything but intimate — it’s the absolute opposite, even though, ironically, the physicality of one person interacting with a keyboard and screen often makes one forget that fact.
I don’t mind hearing or reading it in real life (Catcher in the Rye, anyone?) — although sometimes, it just comes across as unauthentic or desperate, and will cause me to question the utterer’s INT score (sorry, D&D reference).
Now, we have swearing in rap music, “cool” dialog in movies where every other word is a cuss word. The result is that its power is lessened, diluted — the impact, ineffective. Sometimes even pathetic.
Personally, I may, at an “appropriate” time, utter a choice four-letter word.
But when that’s the case, you KNOW that shit has hit the proverbial fan — we’re talking Earth-has-been-knocked-out-its-orbit or cessation-of-life-as-we-know-it kind of fecal matter.
Well, okay, a piano dropping out of the sky will do it, too.
So, the question I want answered is: If someone swears all the time, what does he or she say when something truly deserves it? (It’s analogous to the boy who cried wolf, methinks.)
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your incredibly insightful comments. I’ve been hiding out at my in-laws and getting high on turkey that I did not have to cook. As such, I haven’t been able to respond to comments in a timely fashion. Now there are so many that I have nothing intelligent to say in response and it looks like I’m the uncoolest person to read this blog. :-) Seriously, though, thanks. Really cool responses, people.
@ Nez — Awesome comment, and awesome question. Frankly, you know I’m serious when I don’t swear. Kind of like when your Mum is mad at you and she uses your whole name. When it’s important, the depth of my vocabulary increases ten-fold and I use real words, not just four-letter ones that start with “f”.
@ Nez - That’s a good one. We actually have options:
1 - The volume rises and the words become sharper and more punctuated.
2 - The volume lowers and the words become a low-spoken growl.
3 - We hiss.
4 - We throw, bang or kick things.
5 - We wave our hands around. A lot.
6 - We string a whole bunch of swear words together in a litany.
7 - We do the hokey-pokey and we turn ourselves around.
That’s what it’s all about.
@James - Ha ha, you made me LOL. Thanks for that.
Nez,
Perfect.
:)
@James: Great options, indeed. I would have not thought of those. Thanks for pointing them out.
When I think about it some more, it’s all about tone, inflection and intent, right?
So, what about making up swear words?
Get the blog outta here!
Adsense you!
Go monetize yo momma!
@Nez: Oh yeah? Well fork you too! Twitter this!
I agree 100%…when I hire a new person. I ask them if they mind if I swear. As I do. I try to be selective as to with who..however my grandchildren all 7 of them have heard me swear a lot.. And they love me unconditionally… In fact most people who know me understand its me…if they don’t we choose to disagree and wallah, gone from each others lives and thats alright.
So congratulations on your bravery and honesty..I’m adding you to my blog roll…your the best…
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
http://www.grammology.com
I haven’t been reading all that long, but I’ve been enjoying what I’ve read so far. I have no problem with your swearing, and if I did I would just stop coming back — no big deal.
I did want to comment on something you said in this post, though:
“My readers are adults, my target market is adults, and I would seriously wonder about how a seven year old found themselves here.”
Unless I’m misunderstanding something, your target market is ADULTS WHO WORK AT HOME…. I’m one of those, and it’s not uncommon for one of my children to come stand next to me when I’m working on the computer; more than once, I’ve had to quickly navigate away from a page (not yours — at least, not yet) so they would not see/read something inappropriate. (I don’t spend a lot of time reading inappropriate things — they just always seem to wander over while I am.)
Anyway, like I said — I just had to comment on that, since I think it’s actually pretty likely that there may be kids who see your blog, even though they aren’t your un/intended readers.
@ Dorothy — That’s funny. I get, “Mummy, you shouldn’t say that word, you know” a lot. I usually respond with, “You’re quite right” and he says, “OK. As long as you know.”
@ Carole — You raise a good point — I have an eight-year-old myself, although thankfully he has precious little interest in what I’m reading or writing.
While I agree with you that young children can see the blog, I think my primary issue with the kids-on-the-internet thing is that while you as the parent or guardian are around, it’s controllable. If they’re peeking over your shoulder, you can talk to them, communicate with them, explain. When they’re hiding out in their rooms and just surfing, you have very little involvement in what they do.
Still, though, along the lines of the new tagline idea, I think “Not Safe For Work” is a good choice. :-)
Thanks for coming to leave a comment — it’s great to have you!
ND
Thanks! I’m sure I’ll be hanging around some — just not when the kids are standing next to me…. ; )
[...] the comments on Friday’s post about swearing have been pretty awesome. I’ve been hiding out at my in-laws house, drinking wine and eating free [...]
[...] “Rated R For Language.” [...]