Overheard In Walmart

Mom, Dad, and son, approximately five years old, are having a cozy evening shopping in Walmart, four days before Christmas. Son is quiet, well-behaved, and co-operative.

Mom: Oh, honey, those are the ones on rollback!
Dad: [silence]
Mom: Ooh, come look.
Dad: [silence]
Mom: They’re on rollback, honey!
Dad: [silence]
Mom: Come on, let’s go look. I’ll be quick, I promise.
Dad: I’m not getting in that line to buy a fucking bath mat.
Son: Yeah, Mummy. He’s not getting in that line to buy a fucking bath mat.

***

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Reader Comments

  1. Classic.

    Jon on December 22nd, 2007
  2. Well, men do hate to wait in line (hint hint)… So he learned the lesson a bit early? Am I missing something? ;)

    Brandon on December 22nd, 2007
  3. Children will repeat what they hear from their parents. It never ceases to amaze me the number of parents I hear using foul, not just bad but foul, language around and at their kids.

    And not just the language itself, but more important is what the parents are acutally saying. I heard a women at an outlet mall here the other day coaching her young child on how school was “a damn waste of time.” No wonder we have problems.

    Michael on December 22nd, 2007
  4. I love it. Few things i read cause me to laugh out loud.

    Funny thing though, I read this to my wife and she totally didn’t think it was funny. Is that because we have a different sense of humor (we do) or because this makes for a better read on the page?

    Peter Chester on December 22nd, 2007
  5. Peter, that is because your wife has to live day in day out with the ravages of stupid parents and demented kids.

    If I worked with kids for a living - I’m sure I’d react that same way.

    shane on December 22nd, 2007
  6. OMG! I’d have to agree with Peter’s wife… I don’t see that as funny at all. He should watch his language and attitude in front of his child (such a young / innocent age too!)

    WAH(web)Mommy on December 22nd, 2007
  7. I’ve got one that’s funny, but not quite as funny.

    We’re at a Bible study, and then my seven year old son asks: Dad, you drive by this place everyday, and I want to know, what does XXX mean?

    Yeah.

    Eric Ogunbase on December 23rd, 2007
  8. While I’m not keen on swearing in kids, they’re not fragile ornaments.

    I once said “shit” in front of my (then) three year old - which she proceeded to repeat at every opportunity. But a quiet explanation (”I used a naughty word that I shouldn’t have said - and you shouldn’t say it either”) and she soon stopped with no harm done. She now understands that words are important and tells her (13 year old) sister off for saying “crap” and “retard”.

    What’s better though - walk into my neighbour’s house and their parrot immediately tells you to “shut up and fuck off”.

    Baz on December 23rd, 2007
  9. Love it - this ‘Overheard in Walmart’ should be a weekly series… I’m sure you could find plenty of fascinating material!!

    Christine O'Kelly on December 23rd, 2007
  10. Harsh.

    Martin on December 23rd, 2007
  11. I’m in sympathy with Dad on this one. I wouldn’t wait in line for a fucking bath mat either.

    I so vividly remember how amusing my parents found it when I swore, though, and I do not find it amusing when my little guy does. (On the other hand, his solemnly informing anyone who will listen that ABBA has two penises–that I think is pretty great.)

    Sonia Simone on December 26th, 2007
  12. so they stole the fucking bath mat?

    the best part is that kid talks like that when he’s not repeating anyone. in fact, i think you may have run into my neighbors. i didn’t know they were up in canada…huh.

    always an adventure at wal-trash. always.

    erin on December 28th, 2007
  13. Listen Naomi, I do *not* appreciate you telling the world what I said to my kid in Wal-Mart :-p

    Dave Navarro on December 30th, 2007
  14. Hi from Donetsk, Ukraine. I am leaving comment here just to say thank you for this site, I am looking forward to reading more posts, hope it goes well, all the best, Jay.

    Donetsk on January 13th, 2008

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