Please, Don’t Do This. No, Seriously. Don’t.
Tomorrow, there will be a very well reasoned guest post on this blog, discussing something important and topical and intelligent. Today, you get me screaming, “WHAT THE FUCK?” So much so that I’m opening up comments because I am DESPERATE to hear if somebody, ANYBODY, has an intelligent answer to this question.
What is the point of this?
Let’s say I go to your website. And you have a flash intro. And the flash intro gives me no information whatsoever. It’s just, you know, some pictures fading in and out. And then you have an option that says I can “Skip Intro”. WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN SKIP THE FUCKING INTRO?
This also applies to “Enter Site”. I get there, there’s a picture (because the cheap-ass site owner didn’t spring for a sexy flash intro) with a button beside it that says “Enter Site”. WHY WOULD I HAVE COME HERE IF I DIDN’T WANT TO ENTER THE FUCKING SITE?
Now, I admit I may not know something here and my total screaming caps-lock-bolded-text fury may be really stupid. (If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ll know I do not make these types of admissions easily.) But seriously. WHY?
***
And now for a couple of completely off-topic snapshots into my brain:
1. The sound of Toby Keith singing Christmas hymns totally makes me want to go have sex. (Luckily my husband could be mistaken for Toby Keith in any bar in America, which eliminates any possibility for unpleasantness involving tequila, a cowboy hat and a stranger.)
Who knew that Go Tell It On The Mountain would make you want find the nearest cowboy and whisper, “I’ll wash all YOUR sins away, baby”.
This is obviously disgustingly wrong. Generally speaking, things that are THAT wrong have marketing lessons in them. I’m clearly too distracted right now to think of what the associated lesson here is, but you’re bright people. You can figure it out. Let me know if you come up with anything.
(EDIT: It has come to my attention that when I ran this post, I said “The sound of Toby Keith signing Christmas hymns…” Somehow, that’s even weirder than what I meant, which was pretty damn weird in the first place.)
2. Somebody returned Online Business School because there wasn’t enough swearing in it. (This is probably the same person who returned SEO School because it had too much swearing in it.)
Am I joking? I am SO not joking. You can’t make this shit up, people.
It is the people that are stuck in traditional advertising. They feel like they need to set the mood or present the brand before they can give you information or sell you anything. Sorry people, this is the Internet, things work differently.
Intros are so 2001.
I just said that to sound like my kid brother. 2001 doesn’t actually sound like that long ago. But really, an intro is always wrong.
The rules of having a website:
– Don’t make me think (thanks, Steve Krug)
– Don’t make me click more than once
– Don’t make me hate you
Now I need to look up Toby Keith. Who is that? Why are you of all people always reminding me what a bad American I am?
@ Annie — Thank you for saying this so much more adeptly than I am in the mood to. Great URL, btw.
@ Havi — Toby Keith is the man I will marry when Jamie very sensibly leaves me for the VA.
I don’t understand the flash junk either - but my gripe is the pop up that says “Want more information, sign up here!” before I can even read about the company. I then close the whole tab because if that’s how they market, then I don’t have any reason to read them.
It’s his low-sexy voice… gets the hormones going, right? Marketing should have Toby Keith crooning & it’ll sell!
Fuck ‘em & feed ‘em fish heads. We still love you for who you are!
I wish I could help, but I can think of NO good reason for splash pages to exist, other than, “I had this thing I liked, and it didn’t fit on any page, but I wanted people to see it anyway….”
1) I get the Toby Keith thing; he’s got one of those voices…. (Luckily, for me, so does my husband…!)
2) I’d assume that they just wanted to read the info for free, and were trying to be funny with the reason for return. (Not very funny to try to cheat you, but there you go….)
Okay I totally don’t have a sensible answer to the “Flash Intro/Enter Site” dilemma.
I’m just relieved that somebody else thinks its really frigging ridiculous/ frigging annoying. I thought I was stupid for not getting it - maybe I wasn’t “hip” enough or “cool” enough.
It would seem that, in actual fact, I’m just not dumb enough.
Good to know.
Mayhap the Flash Intro is the result of some smarty-pants web designer - they may have charged an extra grand for all that bling.
And as far as Toby Keith goes? Well, I don’t play for that team but… ;-)
Cheers!
George
Yeah…Flash intros. Awesome. Especially when they’ve got ’70s porn music.
(Oh…shit…let me go check my site first and make sure I don’t have one. K, we’re good.)
One reason designers do this is ego. They know their Flash intro is the best in the universe. Once you see it, you’re supposed to drop your pants and/or offer them large piles of money to make your site just as bitchin.
Another reason is inexperience in the market and business in general. Well-polished eye candy is supposed to lend credence to your brand or product…just like Super Bowl commercials might suggest. But all the eye candy does is prove to your customer that you have experience making fancy irrelevant things.
It could mean that you need to make a sexy flash intro with Toby Keith singing in the background and a sultry woman leaning in, promising to wash away some cowboy’s sins… and a button that says … press here to skip intro.
In a lot of cases what the flashy intro says is: Some web design company convinced us to show how much money we wasted right up front.
In the case of the picture and button without flash it says: I figured out how to host my own WordPress site and found the cool box where I could list another page other than the blog as the front page, so I made THIS in paintbucket (my free downloadable graphic ‘tool’
Srsly? Toby Keith?
Sigh..
DNW
OH! and adding to Havi’s rules. NO SCROLLING ON THE FRONT PAGE
It makes the MD of the company feel like he’s slightly more awesome than he actually is.
That’s why.
I have a totally sensible answer for the Flash Intro/Enter Site dilemma. The website owner was gullible enough to pay the website designer extra bucks for bling-bling that serves absolutely no purpose other than for the website designer to make extra $$$.
I get the “Enter Site” splash page if you’re making your visitor choose between languages but other than that it is just window shopping. People just look in the window and pass on by….
Next time I suggest you make 2 versions of your lessons - one rated PG and one rated R.
Lucky you Naomi, I wish I had people who’d pay me to swear :)
Oh, gah, the useless, time wasting flash intro!
I’m with you. In fact it makes me NOT wanna enter the site, regardless of why I came there in the first place.
Useless flash intro = evil!
A confession: as a brand-new web designer back in 1998 I and my partner got paid lots of money to make a flash intro, which, once played actually sent the user to a “coming soon” page. At the time we told ourselves and the client it was good to establish the “brand” and build loyalty. It was crazy days back then, making the transition from print to web design best practices! Now when I see a flash into all it says to me is that someone hasn’t updated either their site or their mindset since ‘98.
Isn’t a flash intro really just web designer masturbation? (And as such, should be kept private.)
Oh, and when I read that Toby Keith was SIGNing christmas carols, I had two thoughts in no particular order, “Hm, cool, he’s not even deaf.” and “I guess I could see how sign language is sexy” and then I realized it was a typo. Duh, he was singing them.
Couldn’t agree more. Maybe when the whole world is connected by Firewire cable or something. Otherwise, let us shop and keep moving!
Would love to see an “Exit Here” button. :)
:D The splash page was once a very hip thing to have on your website, kinda like pegged pants and big hair. Some people just like big hair.
Sex sells, even when it’s not supposed to. Sexy man voices are just irresistible, even when they are talking about the birth of Christ or their strategy for raising the perfect beef. I’ll send you my hat and you can break out the Tequila and Christmas music later. :)
I was rather impressed with your restraint in OBS. Outside of the occasional “sh-crap”, which was adorable, it was completely G rated. Tell him to have a truck driver read the transcripts, might do the trick. :)
@Naomi - Uh, isn’t the VA your mom? If Jamie very sensibly leaves you for her, you’ve got more troubles than the tequila + cowboy thing.
And I must stand up for designers here. All the designers I’ve ever worked with / been friends with / lived with wouldn’t be caught dead designing flash intros. Most seem to spend way too much time talking clients OUT of having an enter page. Or trying to.
I got firmly talked out of getting one myself a few years ago by a smart designer who basically said, “Why would you want to annoy people any more than you absolutely have to?”
Still pondering that one.
Why not have a REAL flash intro on your blog……just lay it out there for all tosee and in a strategically located area place the ENTER HERE button.
The problem is that you put the part with the most cussing in it up for FREE! His name at this point slips my mind…he was the audio interview you did that was about 40 minutes long…he was hilarious! (Moved for his ill grandfather, you know the one!) I’d never return OBS because you answered my email AND proved me sane over the weekend! *grin*
Re Toby Keith - Ok, I’ll give you this if you say it is ONLY because of his voice. That I get. (There are PLENTY of other licious cowboys out there to LOOK at.) The video with him and Heather Locklear in it made me want to…um…well, my husband is a cowboy. Enough said.
Enter site screens suck, seriously.
[Fawning aside: So great to hear your voice again, and wonderful to read your commenters here.]
@Havi’s dead right: because the prick didn’t read “Don’t Make Me Think” (not that she put it that way!)
Also agree with @David and @Charfish Charlie: the dope was talked into it by a greedy/idiot web designer.
Blame ultimately lies with site owner being a douchbag (I learned that one from @Havi!)
But as to the marketing lesson re: Toby Keith (I know the name only enough to presume he’s a country singer & I’ve therefore never heard him intentionally): the lesson may be dependent on the goal of the singer or producer.
If they want you to feel all aroused by Xmas songs (ick) so it’ll give you warm fuzzies for FUTURE instances of Keith/Toby’s NEXT album releases (”that made me wet, this might too, buy it!”) then they did it (or stumbled upon it) on purpose and the lesson is: SEX SELLS.
IF, however (sorry to bogart your comments for a sec), the point of the song/album was to build a desire for family bonding whilst singing holiday favorites, then, um, fail. Christmas (and I’ve had a LOT of ‘em — all great!) + sex = “gross!” Just ask the Virgin Mary. So THAT lesson might be: “You idiots! I want caroles to teach the kids and sing door to door and feel all cheery about — that’s the whole damn point! Don’t mix my private parts into the fir tree/shiny wrapping business! Old guys with white beards and infants in swaddling clothes ain’t a part of the grove-thang!” FAIL.
Or not. But, uh… you asked, right?
I forgot…Havi! You need to google Boot In Your Ass. I think that pretty much says it all - in a country kind of way. Then do Broken Bridges. Totally a chick flick - could help you recover after a bad Friday “Chick-in” though.
@ Havi - This is actually Jamie. We have a different VA now, so I wouldn’t be leaving Naomi for Naomi’s mom. If Naomi’s mom is reading this, nothing personal :) But then, I wouldn’t leave Naomi for our VA either. If our VA is reading this, nothing personal. :)
Yep.
basically a few years ago the flash intro was the “in” thing to do. And marketers everywhere loved it. Since in traditional business it takes roughly 74356305 years for anything to trickle to upper management, it’s probably some guy in a suit (a white hard hat guy we call ‘em) who thinks that it’s the “thing” to do.
I have actually talked to people who thought that’s what you needed for a site to be professional. and ones who thinks that a blog is “just” a .. blwag.. but that’s another post. ;)
Must be website annoyances day - Jeff Moriarty was bitchin about websites that autoplay music on twitter today, which reminded me of one particularly evil site I once visited (very briefly, I’ll add) that had an advertising slogan that followed around the mouse cursor. I can’t imagine how the designer could think that would impress visitors to take any action other than running for the exit.
@Sundi, the interviewee you are thinking of is Clay Collins.
@Jamie — your input always makes me grin; can we get you on twitter?
I too was thinking about Naomi’s mom being the VA, but hey, it’s Canada, what do I know? (And 11 swell comments came in while I was soapboxing, sorry!)
I promise faithfully never to deliver a site with a flash intro. Haven’t yet. I usually try to talk clients down from any sort of splash page.
The only, only time I think it can be good to have your front page different from other pages of your site is if you do a number of very different things. You write for children AND adults. You write AND make music videos. Then it can be helpful to have some signage pointing to the different flavors.
So I think your WTF’s are completely justified. FWIW.
Some sites require a person to click in as a tacit agreement to whatever they have posted. Most of it is just annoying and unnecessary. I have them for close ups of journals, but refuse to consider them otherwise.
Until today there was only one thing I hated more than flash intro and that was flash intro with sound. Now we have flash intro with sound that can’t be skipped.
That’s right, you have to watch and listen to the whole thing. I still don’t have any idea what the website is about and probably never will. BTW, if you want to check it out for yourself, here it is http://www.thetargetgroupinc.com.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO . . . INTRO?
It’s the designers. They want the world to see thier beautiful work. They are self absorbed and vain.
I’ve always fought this battle with my designers. Typical. If you have a good project manager, like me, the designers get crushed and you can have a good web site instead.
Not all web designers are vain. Some of us do beautiful work and our clients love us, oh, wait…
Nah, eff-it. Check my portfolio: http://www.hitthosekeys.com/portfolios.html
Not gonna lie - I don’t have anything to say.
I am just so excited that we get to comment again, if even for one post! I had to CELEBRATE!
Flash intro = press 1 for English
I wish I could count the number of clients I’ve had to talk out of having flash intros and splash pages. Not only is that annoying for visitors/customers, it’s also bad seo.
It’s not the designers! It’s the clients! Well, actually, it’s the crap contingent of both. Every year, for as long as the interweb’s been going, flash intros have topped the polls of Things That Internet Users Hate (along with popups and unsolicited audio), but every year, there are still some people who think they’re a good idea. What can you do. I’ve had some real battles in the past talking people out of unnecessary flash.
Count you’re self lucky you’re not in Argentina, where *every* site is *pure* flash, with long intros, constantly moving widgets, nasty music, etc. They’re big on appearances down there (said with love, and my Argentine friends agree). They think whizzy=professional. Someone seriously needs to overhaul the Argentine internet industry.
Well, an overhaul of the internet industry in general would be good. We’ve had lovely shiny web standards and best practices for years, but half the industry professionals don’t know about them. One day we’ll have a regulatory body, and then things will improve. Or will they? Other industries manage to produce cowboys despite regulation, so perhaps we just have to accept that 95% of anything will be crap. That’s not my rule, by the way - it was some write on occult/spiritual maters, I forget who. His 95% rule was that 95% of everything said about spiritual things will be bollocks. He later renamed it the 99% rule.
Anyway. The whole flash intro thing is just one example of the classic internet mistake - not puting yourself in the users’ shoes. People tend to bulid websites thinking ‘what do I want to say to my customers?’ rather than ‘what do my customers want to know?’ It’s an easy mistake. We all tend to it. I’m as gulity as anyone else.
Can I just dance around in here a little bit because Naomi is hosting a party?
::dons lampshade::
:::dances around:::
@Mike OMG don’t let me get started on those websites that start blasting sound right away. I owe at least two dozen gray hairs to them.
Wanna talk about intros without a point. Check this one out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv0_LXnVaDc
This played to a huge room filled with Internet Marketers from the top companies in the world. What did it even mean? I don’t know. I felt like I was a stuck in some bad Lance Henriksen tv show.
Here’s my confession: I used to WANT a splash page. But then my first website went up in May 2000 and it was cool then. Sort of.
BUT I DIDN’T DO IT.
Late to the party. Or right on time, but beaten out by IttyStarved readers flocking to comment like cowboys on tequila.
I just want to say - now that everyone’s said everything else, that there’s nothing sexier than Bing Crosby crooning Silver Bells. My parents played that when I was very young and I think it warped my mind about Christmas music altogether.
Then there was Mariah Carey, who told me that all she wants for Xmas was me. I sent her an email. She didn’t write back.
Liar. How’s that for false publicity?
I’m a firm believer that flash only belongs on design or entertainment sites. As for “enter here,” maybe the site you visited hasn’t been updated since, like, 1999?
Toby Keith? Are you serious? The music and the man? I never would have guessed!
@ Melissa Donovan — Both of the above. I’m smitten. Have been for years. Thank God for Jamie, otherwise I’d be groupie-ing my way around the southern states making more of a fool of myself than I am now.
I have nothing really new to add: Flash intros suck on pretty much every level, and are a Really Bad Idea 99.9% of the time. But I wanted to share an anecdote.
We had a fairly large client who wanted to launch a brand new consumer campaign, including a “micro-site” which is double-talk for “an additional site with a more targeted message than the main site.” Lucky us, we could not talk the client out of a flash intro, despite having dozens of studies in hand. Plus, the artist who created the intro left us with totally abstract nonsense which just didn’t make ANY connection to the brand.
They did a huge media buy including top-line banners on some major portals, and in the first four hours of the campaign we processed something like 11K visits. Average number of page views: 1.04. Yup, they paid 7 figures (yes, that’s in excess of 1 MILLION dollars) to show a huge number of people their abstract artwork. To top it all off, more bad design choices we couldn’t talk them out of included burying the product page two clicks (three, if you click to skip the intro) down into the site. What a wasted opportunity.
They agreed to lose the Flash intro a few weeks later, and to move the products front-and-center. Conversions went way, way up, but they haven’t gotten nearly the same kind of traffic since.
Keep on pointing out the stupid, Naomi. It’s a public service, even if the public doesn’t pay attention.
Cheers!
Thanks for opening comments, Naomi.
The whole “Skip-Intro”/Flash-O-Rama thing is akin to nails on chalkboard, for me as a small business owner. Finding connections with the right people and platform have taken first and second priority, respectively. We know the people, but finding the right platform for this niche market is the kicker. Identifying that (platform) has been, and continues to be, the challenge.
They are two separate, yet surprisingly, similar entities (right people/right platform). Just takes time and patience, I’m finding.
But you are right, Naomi, folks do not want your ((time draining)) “INTRO” flash crap.
WE DO NOT WATCH IT
- Amanda (Nashville, TN)
@James You just made me spit water on my laptop!
And I’m officially on Twitter too much, because I tried to “favorite” the Mariah comment. (It didn’t work, of course.)
Ok, a certain someone told me I was cool enough to comment, ahem.
1. Flash sucks. Everyone doesn’t have super fast internet, and that crap takes FOR-EVER to load. If it doesn’t do anything (and even if it does, get rid of it)
2. Music by default on websites has gotten me in more trouble in libraries. And they make it hella hard to find the off button.*sigh
3. I think some folks get caught up in how pretty something is, but they forget that all that glitters isn’t gold, and they fail to remember that less is more.
4. And I wholeheartedly agree, front pages shouldn’t scroll, period.
5. Naomi, I think you are brilliant and when I stop bullsh*tting, I’m going to buy your stuff (when I’m not in school) and I’m ready to be rich and famous (like you).
Flash intros are driven by people who don’t understand the medium they are working in. (Read: marketroids and suits) They see a web page, see the pretty pictures and think *Brochure! The flashier the better*. Here’s clue:
html = hyper TEXT markup language
http = hyper TEXT transport protocol
Text is the web’s native tongue, and using the web effectively means exploiting its’ strengths, not eliminating it.
Sorry for the rant. Or maybe not.
I could not agree more. I hate, no let me say it again, I HATE autoplay video, audio and flash on sites. They are worthless and serve no purpose other then pissing off most of your visitors. And if they are pissed, they won’t come back to be readers who you can build a relationship with.
When we have clients who want these type of features, I talk them out of them. And if I can’t, we usually refer them to someone else.
I feel your pain!!!!
Hey There Naomi girl,
I know very little about web design ( which I found out just recently in the nicest possible way from Men With Pens. Thanks again, James.) but those flash things bug me too.
However, I never knew that sex and Christmas were a bad combo… it’s always worked for me. And what is it with the sex today? Must be something in the air. First I got a really nice follow on Twitter from a woman talking about sex and spirituality and then I narrowly missed getting involved in a semi-sex scandal ( again on Twitter) involving upskirting. ( OK . OK I’m exaggerating for effect).
Anyway, it’s fun to be able to comment again. And that was a Triple Grade AAA , primo rant, full of high entertainment value in addition to being a spot on critique. I enjoyed every minute of it!
And exactly how much swearing is too much swearing?
@ Chris Zydel — I don’t think it’s sex and Christmas. I think it’s sex and hymns.
Baby, It’s Cold Outside = Fine.
Away in a Manger = “Dude, that is my kid’s fucking LULLABY, you sick freak!”
And regarding your “how much swearing is too much swearing?” question, I will answer with a quote from the book:
“I had never seen such an ugly goat. Hair everywhere, teeth like a jack-o-lantern, and a tail that had been bitten off in a freak mating accident, this fucker had FREAK written all over him.”
Flash intros are basically the same as those vastly annoying “interactive menus” on DVDs… they’re something that gets put there to prove how cool the guy who designed the damn things are. It’s all “look at me” and not about “what do you want to do” at all.
It’s an ego trip for the designers, not a service to the client or to the customer.
Protip #1: you can skip the menus on most DVDs by hitting the button for “next scene” on your remote.
Protip#2: If you hate watching the same old ugly copyright notices and disclaimers, you can often skip them by going to scene select and picking the first scene (rather than “play movie.”)
Protip #3: if you go to a website with a big flash intro that gives you the option to skip the flash intro, just close the tab in your browser and google up someone more serious about taking your money for whatever it is that you want to buy.
I don’t have time for this wanky shit, and neither do you, right? I just want the good stuff right up front.
Oh, oh…. I can’t believe this but right after this whole discussion I came across a music web site http://www.mattking.com with a flash intro that I liked so much that I went back to watch it again! It had really pretty twinkling stars and stuff coming out of a gramophone. Does this mean I am like totally uncool?
Flash intros: excellent for web surfers who happen to have dropped acid before visiting your site.
Also they give c-level executives a stiffie. Thus, their existence.
1.
Flash intros are made by the web designers - not for the websites audience - but for the company’s board of directors. This is the same board of directors who come up with a very non-descript mission statement for the company. If the designer doesn’t add a flash intro, the board will send her up for 23 revisions because the site is not cool enough.
So thank god the smart designers put a skip intro button. Because no one except the company owners are interested in the cool flash that tells us nothing interesting.
2.
The “Enter Site” button on the other hand can be very useful. Porn sites show us that they work in increasing the response rate. (Uhmm - I’ve never owned porn websites. But I have had subscribers and even partners who have…)
It goes back to Cialdini’s “consistency and commitment.” If people click the enter button, they will end up taking the site tour too. And they will end up buying too.
But how it works is:
i. Pose a question that qualifies
ii. Then ask people to either enter if interested - or leave
So a question that qualifies could be “Are you 18 and above?” or “Are you someone who isn’t offended by extreme fetishes?”
The non-porn websites copied this trick of the “enter button” from the porn websites. But without the qualifying question. And that’s where they failed.
Ankesh’s comment now has me confused. Naomi had me thinking it was time to get rid of my splash page (not Flash, just a one-click page with a simple line to hopefully “set the tone”), but Ankesh’s point about commitment makes sense too.
Maybe I’ll just do nothing. That’s easy anyway.
Ugh. I despite both Flash Intro and Click to Enter sites. I would also add to the list any site that automatically plays music in the background or starts a video the second you open it…..You’re peacefully minding your own business, browsing around the web and then BAM! your ears are being bombarded with some cheesy background music because you forgot to turn the speaker volume down after listening to iTunes last night….
Thank you Naomi. I needed a good laugh because I was seriously contemplating crawling back in bed and crying all day; and it’s really bad to do that on a day you’re scheduled for therapy anyway.
Moving on; (I know you hate semicolons and this is #2 but if you yell at me I will crawl back in bed and cry all day) I have an exception for when I don’t get hacked at a company that has a flash intro. If I’m going to a site that was referred to me and they aren’t well-known to the general public who on frequent occasions go to them directly I have appreciated a brief well done, emphasis on well done, about us flash intro that gets me interested in specific services or pages I want to check out. It hasn’t happened often and at the moment I’m drawing a blank on the last one I saw, sorry.
My beef this morning is going to a website for a local clock shop and the about page is full of stuff about how to order and the kinds of clocks they deal in. I wanted to know the owner-operator’s name and clock credentials and why I should trust him with my antique clock. The other stuff was repeated in the online catalog for Pete’s sake. But even at that I am heavily annoyed not popping a cork over it because otherwise he had a beautiful site and just I thought he lost a great opportunity to create the beginnings of trust.
Okay, I need to go brace for the my next crisis.
The splash page is totally about branding….and the idea that you’re not immediately hit with info/selling stuff/etc. It’s supposed to “ease you into the site.”
But I have TWO programmer friends who told me to never ever ever do that — ever. (Because I like the IDEA of them. But when I think about it, I always skip the intro too.) But what’s even worse? Is when a designer does a splash page for a company and it loads so SLOWLY that you don’t even bother (or it doesn’t immediately click through)…..those companies don’t understand that they’re losing a lot of people just from that one little itty-bitty thing. Yep.
And OK. That Toby Keith thing just…..ewwww…creeped me out.
;-)
all the best!
deb
I don’t see the point of Flash intros either. And the only time an intro page with an “enter site” type button on it makes sense is for sites that provide the information in more than one language. Then you need to choose your language on that page. Go to any Canadian government site for an example. You get an “English” button and a “French” button. I think if others were offering bilingual services that would be a good model. But you also need the button at the top of EVERY PAGE that allows you to switch to the other language so that if you came in through a link to a specific page you can get it in the language of your choice.
Flash intro sites are hugely popular in the apparel industry (design, not retail) - as if we all want to see a little catwalk display at every single site. (Maybe we’ll think we’re in Paris!) They drive me nuts - especially when you are forced to sit through the whole damn thing and then, when you finally get into their site, they don’t have any actual close-up JPGs of their products. Grr. Grr. Grr.
The swearing thing cracks me up - I file that under “proof you shouldn’t even bother trying to please everyone” category.
Happy Thanksgiving, Naomi (and to your way cool Mom!)!
Slide Show Pro kills flash, IMO. It’s a terrific design element that doesn’t kill loading speed, adds to the content (when it’s done right) and isn’t something you must skip to get to the real content.
How about stay out of places that serve tequila and play hymns?
Jeesh, things must be really going downhill in London. Or uphill, depending on your perspective.
I was actually a little disappointed on the free lessons when I noticed you hadn’t swore once. I know you didn’t do that on ACCIDENT.
*begin Stewie Griffin voice*
What’s up with that? Huh?
Trying to appeal to more people? Trying to be more PC? Tryin’ to be a good person?
Okay I’m done. =)
Even as GREEN as I am when it comes to websites/blogs I know I HATE those flash intros……and I knows not to use’em!
I’ve been missing your great blogging information! Thanks for popping up and opening the comment floor back up.
HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING TOO!
I’m sure there is a special place in hell for people who design flash intros. And if there isn’t, there bloody well should be.
Not enough swearing? Really? That’s novel LOL
I LOVE FLASH!!!
Flash is my hubby’s nickname. :-) (Don’t ask how he got it.)
I do hate the other kind of Flash. And the stupid get-in-your-way ads and pop-ups so f’ing prevalent at news/magazine sites.
Yay for opening comments! (Thanks Naomi.)
Ankesh’s example of click-to-enter page for an “adult” site doesn’t entirely fit this discussion. In that case, the page is indeed serving a sort of gatekeeper role, making sure the people accessing the site really know what they’re getting into. It’s a good use for that type of page.
The complaint here is sites that have intro pages/click-to-enter pages just because… because… why? There is no good reason, hence, the aggravation.
And Toby Keith doesn’t do a thing for me, no matter what he’s singing. For what it’s worth. Though I might pay good money to see Toby Keith signing Christmas hymns. That sounds like good comedy, there.
But, to this day, no matter what the context, whenever I hear or read “Flash,” my brain follows with “ah-ah! Savior of the Universe!” Every. Single. Time. Sometimes out loud. Sigh.
Yep, no need for me to repeat the obvious shared distaste of useless flash intros, but I will add this: the Internet is about dialog not broadcast. Flash intros say, “look at my show” and hold me hostage, assuming I care to sit back and watch. Wrong. When on the Internet, we humans are not in passive mode as when watching TV or a movie. Instead, we’re ready to actively ENGAGE. It’s a conversation not a monologue. Anyone who doesn’t get that by now is stuck in 1999.
Speaking of engaging, maybe the marketing lesson in your lust-induced Toby Keith listening is that you’re sensing passion, which often registers as sexual energy. Passion is good. It’s a life lesson, not just a marketing lesson. Do what you love, and you’ll do it well and authentically, which will naturally result in success. Like you’ve abso-fucking-lutely proven with your own life. And I for one say, don’t apologize for swearing. It’s “you”, and while I try to control my potty-mouth around my 11-yr. old daughter, frankly I say let the passion flow even if it comes out colorfully. So the fuck what?
A) The lemming design philosophy.
B) Another $100.00 bucks on the ticket.
First time here and the last time online till Friday. I know who gives a crap.
How about when you want to download the crap and you can’t.
Thanks for an idea for my blogs. I have one of those sexy voices, too bad I’m not sexy.
WTF
I know, I know, I know.
Worse than that is this: a friend had a website done for his business.
It’s AWFUL!
I won’t make make this a link cuz it’s really, really bad and I don’t want anyone clicking it accidentally: Add www and dotcom to m3ipinc if your curiosity gets the best of you. Otherwise accept that it’s all flash, all music, all the time..
OK, so I told him. In as nice a way as possible: that junk is going to cost him far more business than it ever gets him. I said
“Honestly - I do not like it.. music, flash, very glitzy - kind of site I
close instantly. Sorry.. I wouldn’t want to blow smoke up
your ass, you know that.”
That was a year and a half ago and if you do reconstruct the link, you’ll see it’s still awful.
So what do you do? The guy is really good at what he does but this has to turn people off..
What do you do when someone just doesn’t know how bad this is?
Want to see a web designer jack off? Yeah, that’s the flash intro.
Did you notice no one questions the word “intro”? Intro? Um, how about “ad” or “ego trip”. That’s what these things are. If it gave me some useful info to their product/service then I could call it an intro.
Can’t tell you the number of clients that want a “splash” or “intro” or whatever random euphemism they heard in some hack’s seminar. And I generally say, “do you like to irritate your customers?”
(Like how I used the euphemism “irritate”? That’s me being professional. ;)
I think the long and short of it is that a good portion of people are idiots, or are easily convinced by idiots. People use it as an opportunity to add ‘wow’ factor, neglecting the fact that the only person ‘wow’ed by it is them.
Its a shame that we have all become jaded to the idea of splash pages and intros, because they can be a wonderful showcase of talent (I say can be, it could also look like a yeti wiped its arse with the screen), but then again, if I’m not reading something interesting or useful on a site within 1 10th of a second of landing on the first page I leave.
I think that you have to love but also feel sorry for these people; feel sorry for them because they obviously haven’t got the common sense to survive in the world around them, and love them because they seem to have more money than sense in order to fund the craziness and it shouldn’t take too much convincing to get them to bankroll a small island in the caribbean for you.
And if you get me a phone number for whoever returned Online Business School I know at least a dozen people who can verbally abuse them if they don’t think that they aren’t getting value for money in the swearing department.
hey naomi, wanna work with my mom? she works at the Toby Keith’s I love this bar & grill here in vegas at the Harrah’s hotel. She gets to listen to Toby all daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy long lol.
flashy intro? idk…maybe it’s a geek way of compensating for something. kinda like a sports car.
Naomi, what do you really think? That was some funny$hit. It’s a double-read. I’m going back again.
If the person is using a mall-structured shopping cart, such as wahmshoppe and similar, their ‘index’ page is actually seperate from their site. So they have to use the structure of the “Enter Here” on their landing page.
I agree it’s really annoying. A lot of smaller WAHMs use this format because it’s significantly cheaper on a monthly basis than having their own separate hosting and shopping cart. They’re easy to manage for the non-tech micro-business owner.
Mind you, in a lot of cases they’re unintentionally damaging their business. Because a lot of page ranking is taken from content on the landing/index page they’re not being found by search engines because a) flash doesn’t get searched or b) they just have “click here to enter” on the landing page and nothing about their products or services.
Yeah, it bugs me….
That is goddamn HILARIOUS.
Seriously.
I still work at a Walgreens (debating hanging myself with bungee cord) and I once had someone return a USED toilet plunger.
…I shit you not.
The woman brought it in a bag, smushed onto my counter, and stared at me directly.
Her words? “I need a manager.”
My words? “Yes, yes you do.”
Absolutely, right on flash/intros and Toby Keith!!