Ron Paul: My Truth Is Laid Bare
Since this is the week of secret confessions, I’ll make another one.
I don’t know who Ron Paul is.
Now, I could find out. I know that. I’ve been known to hang out on Digg and Google and, um, Earth. However, I’m not going to because I take a really ridiculous delight in being able to say that I am the only person with internet access who doesn’t know who Ron Paul is. If you don’t either, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. When I saw all the titles on Digg about him, I kind of thought it was the porn guy going for president.
Then I realized that was Ron Jeremy.
In other news that is totally unrelated to anything, this is my favorite post of the day. Maybe the year, although the year is young and that is subject to change.
I will post something intelligent later. In the meantime, consider this. Who would win in a presidential election if the two candidates were indeed Ron Paul and Ron Jeremy? (For your reference, the Ron Jeremy link is to his Wikipedia entry, wherein there is a whole section entitled “Non-pornographic appearances”. Just so you know.)
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Ron Jeremy, hands down. ‘Nuff said.
Thank you, Brett. I appreciate your participation.
I share my birthday with Ron Jeremy. I am very proud.
I am proud for you. That is indeed an honor.
I have no idea who anyone you mentioned is. And I refuse to find out.
It might be worth saying that either of them would do a better job than the “current guy”…
Thanks for the link. I would have to go with Ron Jeremy. I probably don’t agree or disagree with his politics any better than Ron Paul, but at least his followers would be sane humans. I’m not sure Ron Paul’s followers are either sane or human. Definitely not both.
I flew on a plane with Ron Jeremy and two really sleazy broads. I sat right next to them, across the aisle.
He was awesome, cracking jokes about the mile-high club and drinking the entire flight. He autographed my in-flight magazine (and about 4 other dudes who knew who he was). I still have it, and it is one of my proudest possessions.
I would vote for Ron Jeremy over Ron Paul any day of the week.
I did a photo shoot with Ron Jeremy at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas a couple of years ago. And no, porn was *not* involved. It was part of the Surreal Life and something Vanilla Ice was doing for Spike TV. They needed a bunch of bikers with hot looking motorcycles, and the club I was in at the time got chosen.
So much for my 15 minutes of fame.
As for the vote – I’d have to go with Jeremy. He’s a sleeze, but at least he’s honest about it.
Jeremy > Paul
This makes me an anomoly as a digger but still.
By the by Naomi, I… uhhh… tested… yeah tested your ‘Digg This’ link. It works.
Ron Paul is the least sleezy person you will find in politics period, I recommend going to my website to find out more, you’ll be refreshed by his lack of commonality with the average candidate!
I don’t know who you are, no offense.
My vote goes to Ron Jeremy, but I’m canadian, so I guess that doesn’t count (or does it?) :)
Does that make me the only proud american to have no clue who Ron Paul is? Of course he wasn’t on the cover of the newspaper or in the primaries – so I feel vindicated.
But I do know who ron jeremey is – what does that say about our day and age?
@ Shane – Your priorities are very well prioritized.
Ron Jeremy would win of course! Because he could “stuff the ballot box”… (Sorry, someone had to say it.)
Oh, Michael, you didn’t.
@Shane: Dude, the only reason I know who Ron Paul is, is because I’m addicted to The Colbert Report and the Daily Show. Where else would any self-respecting American get their news?
I would vote for Ron Paul in a heartbeat were it not for the fact that he refuses to acknowledge that he bore Brittany Spears love child. I know this is true because Faux News sez so, and they’re the people I’ve outsourced my thinking to until November.
Sorry Naomi, I had to! :)
@ Bill – Will you please be my new dad? My own father leaves a lot to be desired. Can I just rent you? Or lease you? Something?
@ Michael – It’s OK. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
Okay, so here’s my analysis and, mind you, I cheated my way through poli-sci major in college 132 years ago, so I know what I’m talking about.
Everyone knows you judge a presidential candidate by two things.
First – How many syllables are in their name (middle included)? The more syllables, the better the president. Franklin Delanor Roosevelt, George Whopper Washington. William Jefferson Clinton. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Lots of syllables, rockstar presidents. By this measure, RJ wins.
And, of course, the obvious second test is the weight, as measured in live squid, of their first girl (or boy) friend, minus the square root of the volume of their mother, as measured in cubic liters. Here, I’ll need to do a bit of research and get back to you. Please, nobody do anything until I do…
Ok….for 2.3 seconds I thought it was Ron Jeremy running for president too. Please don’t tell anyone my secret.
@ Jonathan – Thank God someone’s taking this seriously. It’s ok. Take your time. We don’t vote for a while. Oh, right. Unlike Digg thinks, I don’t vote at all. You have my support nonetheless. Do you think I can get a green card in time for the 08 election?
@ Lisa – I won’t breathe a word of it. Except now.
@Jonathan: Good man. We wouldn’t want to make any hasty decisions, now would we?
Thank you, Harry. Two votes for RJ, then. How many do you need to qualify as nominated?
Hedgehog, no doubt.
Why? Cuz he’s a regular guy who’s smarter than the current president. And every red blooded straight American male wants to be him – what other man could be so, well, unattractive and get so much booty? They’d vote for him on the “dude, you ROCK” factor, if nothing else. And well, the ladies all know he has big feet, so there you have it.
LOL
I have no idea who Ron Paul is either although I will in a minute with the ol trusty Google. I don’t know who Ron Jeremy is either. I’m American, but I live in Spain, so that’s my excuse, yeah.