Search Engine Marketing Thursday

First of all, if any of you got a bounce back message from my email, sorry dudes. It looks like all my @ittybiz email was staying on the GoDaddy server and there were over 1000 emails just sitting there, hanging out. It’s fixed now.

Readers’ top search terms:

“dangerous chemicals that start with j”
“website to amuse dumb people”
From Practical Archivist - A website that gives tips on restoring old photos.

“droppings identification”
“permanent kick me sign”
From Earnest Parenting, a website about, uh, Earnest Parenting.

“hot little Russian sweets”
From Remarkable Communication, a website about Communication and Marketing (the “remarkable” part is there because she’s sucking up to Seth Godin.)

“I’ve never heard of Led Zeppelin”
From Hirlpoo, a personal website that has nothing to do with Led Zeppelin.

“I plan to gaslight my husband”
From Entrepremusings, the blog that complements BabbleSoft, a baby software company. (Baby as in that’s what the software’s about. Not like the size of the company.)

IttyBiz top search terms:

“identifying who is the slut in your office”
That’s an easy one. Check the copy room. She’ll be the one fellating your boss.

“when my husband comes home topless”
Step One: Turn on your computer.
Step Two: Check it out in Google.

“what are the steps required for becoming a rockstar?”
See steps one and two, above.

“funniest penis spam”
Did I tell you the one about the guy and the gun?

“box wine i want to see how much wines is left”
Well, I can tell you how not to do it.

“want can weed do to you” - I’m pretty sure this guy meant “what can weed do to you”, although he may have answered his own question just by trying to ask it.

And a few that defy commentary:

“entrepreneurship mental illness ideas projects”
“feel mom’s pantyhose ass”
“naomi in a thong”
“Why alcoholics like me”

This, dear readers, is why SEO is so important to your home business. So that when you want to rank #1 in Google for “Itty Shit”, you can. (Thanks, Jon, for pointing that out. You really made my day.)

Got good search terms? Come! Share! You too can have your moronic would-be readers featured, forever in infamy.

***

Overwhelmed? Freaking out? Borderline hysterical? Click here to get your own micro-business marketing plan. It’s not scary, I promise.

Reader Comments

  1. The only weird one I’ve gotten so far is “female version of joshua”.

    Joshua Clanton on January 10th, 2008
  2. You gotta wonder whether these people ever found what they were looking for…

    Naomi Dunford on January 10th, 2008
  3. “want can weed do to you” - Classic stuff.

    esvl on January 10th, 2008
  4. I love looking at my search terms (and other people’s). I did a post about this a few weeks ago…one of my favorites is “how to make a bed spread out of raccoons”. I mean, I do have some tutorials on my blog, but nothing that rustic!

    colleen on January 10th, 2008
  5. Dammit, Naomi will you STOP writing such good stuff!!!

    I cannot spend all effing day reading IttyBiz.com - I have work to do!!!

    Anthony Lawrence on January 10th, 2008
  6. I think this is my new favorite post. “entrepreneurship mental illness ideas projects” could so be your new tag line.

    Sonia Simone on January 10th, 2008
  7. My favorite one is “nicest website”. Yes yes, Google loves us, lol. Other ones I like are “sci-fi famous creatures top 10″ and “rock bands that wear make up”.

    some other Naomi on January 10th, 2008
  8. thanks for the mention! Some other recent search terms to find my blog were “boobs” and “gallons of breast milk” Since my company Babble Soft makes software that helps keep up with breastmilk and in some countries breasts are referred to as boobs, I guess that’s OK.

    I still can’t figure out how “I plan to gaslight my husband” would lead someone to my blog but there you have it!

    Oh and yeah, we still are a baby (small, but cute) company too.

    Aruni on January 10th, 2008
  9. You’re welcome Naomi! :)

    Writing For Plastic Bags” (24 hits from google yesterday with that one… 18 different IP addresses… weird I know.)

    Jon - FreelanceFolder on January 14th, 2008
  10. Jon! Classic! Where do you find these people? (I guess “where do they find you?” is a more accurate question.)

    Naomi Dunford on January 15th, 2008

Post a Comment