Sep
08
Semi-Urgent: When Your Decision Not To Self-Promote Turns You Into A Big Fat Jackass
First off, the semi urgent part. I’m contractually obligated to tell you that the Self Promotion for Nice People and Wimps and Whatever starts on Wednesday. If you’re planning to get in on it, you might want to get on with it.
We all have conflicting needs. Maybe you want a stable marriage but you also want to run away with your Spanish teacher. Maybe you like your children but you think you might be happier if you just took them to the pawn shop and traded them for Mario Kart on the Wii. Maybe your coke habit conflicts with your mortgage payments.
My conflict is this: I like to be right and I like to be honest.
I can’t tell you how much of a pain in the ass this is for me. And right now, while I would like to say nothing, I’ve tried to make a habit of being as embarrassingly honest as possible on this blog. (You’ve seen me in thigh highs and topless, for God’s sake.) So I have to say something.
Because of the whole filthy marketing whore thing, I worry A LOT about promotion. I’ll tell my clients to pimp themselves out not until the cows come home, but until the cows are actually long dead. I try to craft hundreds of sneaky and ingenious ways for them to get their name and their product out there at every available opportunity. But myself? Uh, no. See this post as an example of my astonishingly poor self-promotion skills.
(Yeah, I’m the one teaching a course on self-promotion. And yeah, there’s nothing wrong with that. Because I know how to do it, I just don’t like self-promoting to YOU GUYS. You guys are my friends and I get weird going all BUY RIGHT NOW, ONLY THREE SPOTS LEFT on my friends. Strangers, fine. Y’all? Nuh-uh.)
My partner-in-crime has no such compunction. She’s been pimping this course — in her gentle, Havinator way — until it begs for mercy. She’s been out there, telling people what’s going on, helping them, guiding them, answering their questions, soliciting their concerns, the whole nine yards. What have I been doing?
Thinking, “I don’t want people to think I’m trying to SELL to them!”
Uh, right. Because this is a fucking charity?
Anyway, Havi has been getting a bunch of questions and freak-outs, and she decided that instead of staying up for 72 hours straight and answering them all, she’d write a blog post addressing common fears and objections. (If I know Havi at all, she answered the emails, too.) When she told me this, here’s what I said:
Naomi, to herself: Don’t do it, dude. You’re promoting too much. They’ll all grow to hate you!
Naomi, to the Havinator: God, I really, really love melted cheese.
Anyone else and I’d be all “Slap up a set of fuzzy dice and PIMP that bitch!” But my good friend? I’m telling her to shut the hell up and cross her fingers. Nice, huh?
Because here I am, sitting in my totally self-absorbed haze, thinking “people don’t want to hear about this. Leave them alone and go back to handing out free advice peppered with swear words”. (In her case, it’s free advice peppered with crazy yoga speak.)
The Havinator, on the other hand, is sitting there saying, “People have questions. They have objections. They are concerned that they might have to commit to something scary. They need me to be gentle and guide them and help them.”
Yeah, Havi’s a lot nicer than me. I never promised you I’d be nice.
Anyway, today she gets this email, reprinted with no permission whatsoever:
“i totally am signing up b/c your blog post about my probably objections answered my objections. =)
a) i will probably listen to the recordings, not call in and
b) i did think “oh i know this stuff already but haven’t implemented it” and
c) i did think “oh but i don’t know really what i want to do yet.”
Guess what! I was totally wrong. Havi was totally right. Shocker.
So here’s a twofold piece of advice to those of you planning to, you know, run a functional business:
People will have objections. You have to learn to gracefully, persuasively, and professionally deal with them. Please go read and copy everything Havi does in this blog post. Steal this shit. Slam it away in your swipe file. (Unless you’re a “habits educator” as well. In which case, I wish you the best of luck as you have a formidable opponent who comes with her own duck.) But seriously, awesomely done.
Even if you think you are over fear, you’re not. If you’re letting your fear get in the way of doing what you feel is right, just stop it. It’s stupid and it’s costing you money. I don’t know how much it’s cost me, but I feel like a right moron right now.
I’m stealing it all.
Even the duck.
Bring it on!
(Great post, Naomi.) :-p
I can only say this: you’re brave.
Oh, and also that you’re not a moron. :)
- Jen
What she said. : )
As long as you change your behavior now that you learned your lesson and whatnot. Cause this blog will not be more interesting if we get this post reprinted every time you have this crisis.
Learn from it or I will shame you from afar and do that thing with my fingers. You know, the tsk tsk hand gesture.
You have the high heels, you have the miniskirt, you HAVE the corner. Now work it! We like you in heels and the mini with the feather boa adding that dash of class we adore.
It’s always *way* harder to get out there and shake your own moneymaker.
Do I know EXACTLY how you feel? I do.
ah ha ha I just reread the comments and realize that the nice Jen did not say, as I thought she did, “and also you’re a moron.”
Really pretty much everyone is nicer than me.
I have to agree with Sonia, it’s always harder to self promote, but telling other people seems very easy. I go through that a lot. But you’re noticing it, so its ok :)
I’m so with you Naomi. In my last business I couldn’t “sell” – I could market, educate and inform, but I had the hardest time selling to people.
This time around I’m going for a bit more aggressiveness but still figuring out how to sell to my friends-of-the-blog. Which reminds me of Kelly’s post over at Maximum Customer Experience (http://maximumcustomerexperience.com/2008/09/08/how-you-can-save-your-small-business/) – is my idea powerful enough that friends will want to buy it? Or will they just support me emotionally?
I am currently working on a logo design for a good friend of mine because I had the guts to email her and ask her if she needed a website design to go with her brand new business. That action was directly motivated by a post of yours.
I am interested in what you have to say even if you are trying to sell something to me, so promote away!
You have such good manners, Naomi.
Everyone knows when you go for a free lunch (and everyone comes here for free advice, free entertainment, too see your boobs, etc.) you’re going to have to listen to talk of the awesome time share in Florida. Only, in this case it really *does* sound like an awesome course.
It’s an age-old cliché that it’s easier to dish out advice than take it, especially your own. No biggie, Naomi. Because if you sucked at self-promotion, none of us would actually be here. You’re self-promoting in a different way is all; with honesty, great writing, and sexy socks. You’re pimping yourself by just being yourself. What the hell’s wrong with that? I don’t see you in a shelter anymore, so you’re doing something right. At some point, successful people reach a time when self-promotion the way they tell people to self-promote is a moot point. Other people promote for them, and all they have to do is keep adding great content.
I think I’m like you– well except I can’t make myself swear on my blog or go topless:) I am CONSTANTLY thinking about what is right, what if it pisses off my readers? I have had this thinking for the ten years I’ve been online. I’m heading over to Havi’s blog…wondering if I can convert myself…
Self-promotion is a big obstacle of mine. I love to talk, so you’d think it would be easier, but it makes me self-conscious. Even online.
The past couple of weeks, I have been working on this and trying to develop a stronger sense of confidence. My belief in my work is unfailing. In myself….a little less so. :-/
Naomi, I appreciate your candor. I appreciate that you are willing to talk honestly about your weaknesses, as well as your strengths. I think that’s a big part of what makes you a good blogger. You are human. Your humanity shines through.
Off to work on my self-promo skills…..
Damn. That was awesome.
Wow, Naomi! Every time I read one of your posts, I feel like someone has just dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. But in a good way.
I hate self promotion. It’s way too scary. And even though I usually keep plugging along with my various promotional schemes, I have an ongoing fantasy that someday I will get to the place in my business, where I’m good enough or famous enough or SOMETHING so that I will never, ever have to do that again. And that secret wish can also paralyze me with disappointment when once again, it doesn’t happen.
Thanks for your searing, emotional honesty. And thanks for the kick in the butt about the fear. I’m going to drag myself out of fantasyland now and practice being not a moron….
I didn’t even totally understand this and I’m *still* laughing.
You had no trouble with your SEO School book. You gotta ask yourself what’s the difference?