(Editor’s note: This is a guest post from my friend and fellow home business owner, Susan Emmens of Vox Fortis Communications. She’s a marketing and writer type like me. She’s very good, although I wouldn’t say that to her face. To her face, I call her Suzie. Try it. Watch what happens. It’s funny. Seriously, though, Susan knows her stuff. Read. Learn.)

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It seems like there’s constant hilarity around Search Engine Optimization. From the people that never leave their basement, intent on cracking Google’s algorithms, to those that are just thinking about starting a website, the questions never end.

And really, for good reason. The Internet is one of the most dynamic mediums ever…and who can argue that with blogs like this one? Go on, I dare you. (Actually I do dare you, because it’s fun to get Naomi riled.)

It seems like I get a lot of the same questions over and over at my little company. I’m a weird hybrid of an analytical and marketing mind (ok, I’ll say it: numbers nerd) but also big into writing and creative look and feel. They fight often, but the area that it’s proved to be helpful is in explaining SEO to people that don’t really know what it is. They just know they’re supposed to have it, and read one factor out of the tons that make up your ranking, and they Won’t. Let. It. Go. Kind of like a rabid dog with a steak. But without the dog. Or, um, the steak.

Examples of people who don’t get it:

Client A: Write me 500 articles with 87% keyword density. I need them in 48 hours so I can plaster my site and watch the search traffic roll in.

Um, no. This isn’t a great plan. First, the writing will suck. I’m sorry, it will. And hey, maybe you don’t care, but that precious traffic you’re practically selling your firstborn for will care and leave. That’s the first problem.

The second issue is throwing a ton of articles up there at the same time and then just sitting. SEO is work, baby. If you’re going to procure 500 articles (which I just warned you will suck with that kind of turnaround…just sayin’) refresh your site with them sporadically. Do one a day and you’ll have enough to post for about a year and a half.

Client B: I need inbound links! Can you go buy me 300 of them? Better yet, go find random sites and post like crazy! Get me links, fool!

Yeah, ok…no. There’s smart link placement, and then there’s blazing through and dropping links like a pigeon crapping on New York City pedestrians. 300 useless links from non-relevant topic sites that don’t get traffic of their own anyway is a perfect example of working smart versus working hard. Don’t waste your time. You’re better off getting linked from three strong sites that are directly related to yours, with people who care and will click to hang out at your virtual pad. Less is more when quality’s more important than quantity. (Yes, I just worked two cliches into one sentence.)

Client C: I don’t want to redo my site. It’s all pretty pictures, and the text will make it look bad.

Here’s where Creative Me sympathizes. I’m a sucker for slick sites, and I sigh heavily when I know it has to be changed because it isn’t doing squat for the organic traffic the person wants. It’s painful too, because they spent money on that site, and you’re having to tell them that all-image/all-Flash sites aren’t made for what they’re really wanting: organic traffic from God Google.

On the other hand, those of us that write will have plenty to do for this client. Ease them into it. For a lot of people, a website’s purpose is to make their business look cool, and let’s face it, sometimes SEO ain’t sexy. If you can work with a good designer to do a mock-up that still keeps the look and feel they love about their site, but incorporates your stellar copy, the client may see it’s not quite that scary.

There are a multitude more, but these are the main ones I run into. Feel free to share your regulars, of course, because sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Look, when it comes to SEO, it can be intimidating. I only know the parts I need to, and frankly, the rest of it makes me break out into a rash. Your clients just see this huge bandwagon with “SEO” emblazoned on the side that’s full of cool, trendy people looking down their noses, and they want to hop on but don’t know the secret password. You don’t have to toss ‘em on the bandwagon, but at least give ‘em a pair of shades so they start to blend in, and introduce them to SEOmoz, particularly this document.

Speaking of organic popularity, subscribe to this blog. Naomi’s the woman, and you know that or you wouldn’t be here. (Which doesn’t address the fact you’re reading me right now, but….whatever. You’ll take what she gives you and you’ll like it.)

And while we’re talking about search engine and backlinking, feel free to mosey on over my way.

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Overwhelmed? Freaking out? Borderline hysterical? Click here to get your own micro-business marketing plan. It’s not scary, I promise.