No idea. But let me know if you come up with anything.

Moving on. Last night, I spilled a glass of mulled wine on my husband’s laptop, the only computer in this house. I was going to type up a great post today but I have lost most of the functionality of my keyboard. Therefore, here’s what I was going to post on Saturday. You get it today because it’s shorter and requires less typing.

Oh, THE HALF PRICE SALE ENDS TODAY, by the way. If you want cheap IttyBiz stuff, act now or forever hold your peace. Click here for details and ordering.

So. A long overdue list of things I think are awesome:

The No-Burnout Guide To Doubling Your Sales — Think you need more traffic? More buyers? Read this and find out just how wrong you are.

Create, Connect and Consume — This is a crazily on-point article by Charlie Gilkey and it nails personalities like mine to a T. Charlie and I were talking on the phone last night about productivity. (Yes, we’re nerds. Well, him more than me, but still.) We were talking about Getting Things Done and the productivity hackers who get all turned on by the idea of Inbox Zero or Email Zen or whatever the latest how-to-deal-with-email-in-8.3-minutes-per-day system is. He made a statement that absolutely blew my mind.

“Whenever you send an email, it’s like you’re building a little mini product.”

He’s not talking about any email, he’s talking about mine. Most email for me is a creative act. And like you wouldn’t set out to write a novel or a song or a screenplay in thirty minute chunks between meetings, sometimes you can’t write emails that way either.

Whatever. I’m not saying it right. Go read it — it’s awesome. (UPDATE: Sure enough, he already wrote about the email is a product thing, and a damn site better than I just did. Go read that too.)

Why You Need Luxury Loo Roll — “You can tell if a company values its customers by the quality of its toilet paper. That rough stuff you have to fold 16 times before grating across your rump like twisted metal on a block of 30-year old parmesan speaks as much about the company’s disregard for your custom as it does for their undeclared war on your bottom.

Good customer service trickles from the shiny sales people and free coffee right down to the bathroom floor, suspicious puddles and all. And, while many will be tempted to cut costs by downgrading or neglecting to replenish such minutiae as toilet paper in these troubled times, my hope is that the following exposé on loo roll horrors will deter you, lest we all have to carry a monstrous arse rash in addition to our other varied troubles.”

When Sex Refuses To Sell — The inspiration for the title of this post, and something that has been needed to be said for a long time now. Traffic for traffic’s sake is WORTHLESS. Getting more traffic to your website or blog is not what you want. Getting more GOOD traffic is what you want, and you ain’t gonna get that putting salacious headlines about client sex up there. Whoops. My bad.

Oh yeah. And the sale ends today.