Yay! Course! We did a course! A not-very-expensive course that’s super crazy fun. I love it.

So, after much ado — OK, a little bit of ado — here’s what’s going on. I have three consults this afternoon and absolutely zero time to write sexy sales copy, so I’ll just tell it like it is.

The Low-Down on Marketing 101

Lesson One: Figuring Out What Makes You AWESOME

Your USP is what makes you different and better and awesome. It’s also what makes all the people with the money pick YOU instead of your dirty, filthy competition.

Tragically, your potential buyers don’t already know that your competition lists puppy kicking and candy stealing as primary recreational pursuits. If they knew that they’d all be paying you already, but they don’t, so you have to give them another reason. Your USP is that reason.

Lesson Two: Who’s Supposed To BUY This Stuff Anyway?

Once you figure out exactly what it is about you that kicks ass, you need to find the perfect person to buy it. (Obviously, by “person”, we mean people. Lots and lots and lots of people.) Finding the perfect people — your big fat raving fans — is pretty easy when you know what to look for. Most people just don’t know what to look for.

They say stuff like, “Um. I’m a web designer. I’m looking for people who need websites.” Or, “I make baby clothes. I’m looking for parents.” Nope. Your target demographic is a much more complex and intimate beast than that, and we’re gonna help you find it.

Lesson Three: What Do I SAY To These People?

Imagine figuring out exactly what makes your business the best thing since bread — sliced or otherwise — and finding a crapload of people who are shivering with excitement about the prospect of sending you money. Now imagine exactly the right words you’ll say to make them give you not only their Visas, but their panties as well.

Not easy, huh? Yeah, that’s where a lot of otherwise stellar IttyBiz’s fall down. This is the day you’re going to learn exactly what to say to all these nice people who want to buy your stuff.

Lesson Four: Sneaky, Sneaky Tricks

This is the money call. This is where you learn a bunch of ass-kickingly awesome ways to get people to come on over and start spending money.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are LOTS of ways to get people to come on over and start spending money. You’ve probably heard of most of them. But there’s that nagging issue of, um, finance. If you’re one of the 9,997 people reading this blog without a trust fund, the money thing is, you know, a thing. This is the class where you learn sneaky, sneaky, cheap, cheap, cheap tricks to get the people in the door.

Frequently Asked Questions

What’s the format?

Audio, baby. Each class follows a sort of structure that goes like this: half an hour of lesson-y stuff, followed by two IttyBiz case studies — one product based and one service based. Then the shooting the shit and asking of questions which, let’s face it, was probably the funnest part. We talk about poledancing a lot in those. Apparently poledancing paraphernalia is big biz.

What does this whole shindig cost me?

One hundred and ninety seven American greenbacks. Or $197 if you want to be literal about it.

But what if I don’t want to do the homework?

I won’t tell. But you should probably do ten Hail Mary’s anyway, just in case.

If you want in, send me $197 by clicking the button below and you’re in.