Hello, my lovelies. You’re here because you heard about the Quit Mooning Around and Start Your Ittybiz Already Sale. We’re selling Marketing 101 and Summer Camp in one big lump of delicious business candy, and then we’re taking Summer Camp off the market forever.

Yeah, seriously. It’s now or never. If you know you want to start a business that doesn’t suck but you don’t have any idea what kind of business or where to start or even what you’re good at, you’re going to want to snap this up today.

Why Are You Taking Away Summer Camp?

Good question. The last time I tried to take a product off the market, I got accused of some really ugly things, which was unflattering, to say the least. People were not happy.

So you better believe I have a good reason for taking Summer Camp off the market.

I do have a good reason. And it’s this.

It’s time for you to start your business already.

Yeah, it’s time because Summer Camp and Marketing 101 are on sale together for a ridiculously discounted price and they’ll show you exactly what to do so you don’t freak out or turn into an asshole.

Yeah, it’s time because you’ve been thinking about starting a business for years and you really want to do something you like for a living so you can sleep soundly at night and wake up psyched in the morning.

And it’s definitely time because your boss is a jerk and you’re tired of him threatening to fire you if you don’t stay late even though you’re going to miss your kid’s birthday and you haven’t been paid for overtime in months.

It’s time because of that, yes. But it’s also time because it’s time.

There are over 20,000 regular Ittybiz readers, and only a tiny fraction of them actually have a seriously functional ittybiz. Those guys are busy improving their current conversion rate and launching products and bumping up their prices with some of the other stuff we sell in the store.

(If you’re one of those people, you should stop reading immediately and go get on the list for Marketing for Nice People so you can get bigger. Thanks for coming by, you’re awesome.)

The rest of you fall into one of these categories:

• You don’t have a business.
• You’re in thinking phases of starting a business.
• You’ve just started a business but you’re not getting any real customers or clients yet.
• You have a business and you want to change it – or scrap it and start a new one.

If you’re one of these people, it’s officially time to stop mooning around and get your ittybiz. Like, now.

What’s Summer Camp?

Summer Camp is like, you know, summer camp. Which means even if you don’t have any idea how to play the game, you get to play. It means you get to learn how to overcome your fears (except instead of teaching you how to stop freaking out about cannonballing off the big rope into the lake, we’ll teach you how to stop freaking out about grown-up things like money). It means you get to learn about your talents and your skills and why other people think they’re valuable.

You know, summer camp. Except they probably didn’t let you smoke at your summer camp. And you can totally smoke at this one. Heck, it’s all-audio format. You can have sex during this summer camp if you feel like it. Or even while you listen to this tasty sample right here:

(This is a sample of part one of Day Three — each day has four parts. We’re talking about talent, how Charlie Gilkey gets his rocks off, how business is like hockey, how the whole “4 out of 5 businesses fail in the first five years” is a dirty, filthy lie, and the only real reason a business can fail. Oh, and don’t skip the intro and the outro. You’ll understand when you hear it.)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Day One: Ideas, Ideas and More Ideas

When I was studying fiction writing, I heard a story that changed the way I looked at ideas. I wish I could remember who said this, but there was a man who said, “If I could promise you I have an idea for a novel that could sell millions of copies, how much would it be worth to you?”

The answer?

Nothing. I vow to you that you have more ideas in your brain than you could ever write down, let alone plan or, God forbid, implement. Ideas are everywhere. If anything, we’ve got too many great ideas, which is why we don’t know which one to act on. What you’ll learn on Day One is how to find an idea that’s going to work great for you.

Day Two: Clearing Out the Freaking Out

Everybody has fear. It’s normal. One of my favorite authors, Po Bronson, said “The absence of fear is not course. The absence of fear is mental illness.”

The thing is that fear isn’t stopping you from starting your ittybiz. Freaking out about your fears is what’s stopping you from starting your ittybiz. On Day Two, you’ll learn how to clear away all that stuff that’s making you freak out. When you’re done, you’ll know which fears are good and healthy and reasonable and which ones are just in your way. You’ll have solid, practical ways to look your fear in the eye and get on with your life.

Including the part of your life that includes a shiny new business that makes lots of money. Cool, huh?

Day Three: Talent Show!

Knowing what we’re naturally great at is a priceless tool when you’re trying to figure out what kind of business is going to make you ridiculously happy. On the other hand, mooning around waiting for your natural talent to come up and smack you in the face is death to your ittybiz ambitions.

Why? Because we’re not exactly objective when it comes to our skills, abilities, and talents. Sure, we know we’re good at math or writing or solving problems. But normal human beings aren’t very good at objectively figuring out how to use those skills in the best way.

By the end of Day Three, you’ll not only know exactly have a list of skills and talents you’re rock-solid confident about, you’ll have brand-new ways to use those skills specifically for making your business more awesome.

Day Four: Rainy Day

We call it Rainy Day because this is Summer Camp and camp isn’t camp without at least one day that’s raining. We’re big on puns. We’re also big on money and security, which is why Day Four is all about how to deal with those issues.

You’ll learn to deal with money on two levels: high-concept improve-your-relationship-with-money stuff, and brass-tacks-concrete-here’s-how-much-money-you-need stuff. You’ll learn how to deal with the fact that we’re all lunatics when it comes to money and how much money you actually need saved up before you start your ittybiz. (Hint: it’s not three months, six months, or a year.)

By the time you’re done, you’ll know how to save money, how to know whether you should borrow money for your business (or whether you really, really shouldn’t) and how to SPEND MONEY so you don’t miss out on unmissable opportunities.

Day Five: What’s Next for YOU

By this point, you know what kind of business you want to start, what your skills are, and how to not freak out about money or any of the other business related fears. That’s all well and good, but until we actually start getting clients and making money, you still don’t have an ittybiz.

You need solid steps with next actions so that you can get moving. Day Five is all about concrete plans and how to build your dream one brick at a time.

You’ll learn to construct an action plan and start putting it into action so your dream business stops being in your head and starts being a reality. Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Summer Camp is pretty much everything you need to get started with a new business. But once you’ve gotten your first couple of customers and you’re feeling comfortable in this solid foundation Summer Camp helped you set up, you’re going to want to get bigger.

You’re going to want more clients and customers. More ideas for services you could offer. Ways to get more money rolling in without burning yourself out.

Which is where Marketing 101 comes in.

What’s Marketing 101?

Marketing 101 is when we get serious about marketing your ittybiz. If Summer Camp is the foundation of your business – and it is, because that’s how we made it – Marketing 101 is your beautiful first floor packed with clients and money and freedom. You’ll learn how to figure out your target market, find people to buy your stuff, and what you need to say to them to get them to buy it.

It’s also in audio format, so you can listen to it when it’s convenient for you to deal with people handing you money. You know, whenever that might be.

There’s also homework. Just like in your real classes that end in 101. You don’t have to do the homework, which is why Marketing 101 is better than business school – but if you do the homework, you’ll make money. <strong>Which is also why Marketing 101 is better than business school.</strong>

That, and the fact that you got it for free when you got Summer Camp. I can list reasons why it’s awesome all day, people. Why don’t we just break it down?

Lesson One: Figuring Out What Makes You AWESOME

Your USP is what makes you different and better and awesome. It’s also what makes all the people with the money pick YOU instead of your dirty, filthy competition.

Tragically, your potential buyers don’t already know that your competition lists puppy kicking and candy stealing as primary recreational pursuits. If they knew that they’d all be paying you already, but they don’t, so you have to give them another reason. Your USP is that reason.

Lesson Two: Who’s Supposed To BUY This Stuff Anyway?

Once you figure out exactly what it is about you that kicks ass, you need to find the perfect person to buy it. (Obviously, by “person”, we mean people. Lots and lots and lots of people.) Finding the perfect people — your big fat raving fans — is pretty easy when you know what to look for. Most people just don’t know what to look for.

They say stuff like, “Um. I’m a web designer. I’m looking for people who need websites.” Or, “I make baby clothes. I’m looking for parents.” Nope. Your target demographic is a much more complex and intimate beast than that, and we help you find it.

Lesson Three: What Do I SAY To These People?

Imagine figuring out exactly what makes your business the best thing since bread — sliced or otherwise — and finding a crapload of people who are shivering with excitement about the prospect of sending you money. Now imagine exactly the right words you’ll say to make them give you not only their Visas, but their panties as well.

Not easy, huh? Yeah, that’s where a lot of otherwise stellar IttyBiz’s fall down. This is the lesson where you learn exactly what to say to all these nice people who want to buy your stuff.

Lesson Four: Sneaky, Sneaky Tricks

This is the money call. This is where you learn a bunch of ass-kickingly awesome ways to get people to come on over and start spending money.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are LOTS of ways to get people to come on over and start spending money. You’ve probably heard of most of them. But there’s that nagging issue of, um, finance. If you’re one of the 19,997 people reading this blog without a trust fund, the money thing is, you know, a thing. This is the class where you learn sneaky, sneaky, cheap, cheap, cheap tricks to get the people in the door.

(There’s also a bonus call, Networking for Wallflowers, which is pretty cool too but totally has nothing to do with the curriculum. It’s just there because it’s fun.

But I’m Not Ready!

Most people think they’re not ready. You probably are ready and you’re just freaked out and uncertain, but if you’re really not, if this is really a bad time for you to start an ittybiz, but you know that one day you really will want one, that is cool with me. Don’t stress yourself out. We are not in the business of freaking people out just for fun.

But it doesn’t change the fact that you should scroll down and hit the buy button lickety-split, and here’s why.

By the time you’re ready, Summer Camp is going to be gone.

You basically have three options:

1. Buy it now, get Marketing 101 for free, build a killer ittybiz, quit your day job, and retire to Maui.

1. Buy it now, put it on a shelf, and come back to it when you’re ready to quit your day job and retire to Maui.

1. Don’t buy it now, try to come back to it when you’re ready to quit your day job, and send my ninjas a dozen emails asking for it, and then my ninjas will cry because they want to help you, but they can’t because it’s gone and it’s never coming back.

Plus you’re getting Summer Camp bundled with Marketing 101. Which means you’re not just moving from having no business to having a brilliant business idea, a workable model and an action plan.

You’re going from having no business to having a business that’s successful enough that you can quit the day job, work from home, and do something you really, truly like doing.

It’s basically like going to business school without coughing up $30,000. If business school were pants-optional and had more references to poledancing.

What does it cost?

We’re going two-for-one on Awesome Businesses today. Which means you get both Summer Camp and Marketing 101 (including Marketing School) for just $197.

Just click the button, get everything you need to create a business, and go out there and do it already.

This grey button is for if you want to pay the whole thing right now. Yes. The grey one. Right below this text. THAT is the button you want. I am aware that I could make that button bigger! and! prettier! and! bigger! but I am a little short on time.

Grey button = sending IttyBiz money right now.

Payment Plans for the Poor and Disenfranchised!

Alternatively, the lovely people on Twitter have asked for payment plans that are easy and anonymous and don’t involve emailing the ninjas. Because of this, I’ve created a couple. If you choose one of the payment plan options, you’ll get the product today, but you won’t get an email from our payment processor because you won’t be buying through our payment processor. When you buy, PayPal will show you a button that says “return to merchant” or “complete your purchase” or something. FOLLOW THIS LINK and it will redirect you to the page on IttyBiz with all the information.

(If this totally confuses you, just try your best and email the ninjas if you get lost. It’s cool. They may sound scary but I assure you they’re pussycats underneath their ninja costumes.)

Option one:

This button is for 2 payments of $98.50, 2 weeks apart. You’ll pay $98.50 today and another $98.50 in two weeks, automagically. You don’t have to do anything. PayPal will take your money from you while you sleep.

Option two:

This one is for three payments of $67, a month apart. You’ll pay $67 now, $67 in a month, and $67 one month after that. Again, this is automagic. Again, you don’t have to do anything. And, like death and taxes, PayPal will take your money from you while you sleep. And yes, I love “automagic”. It’s my blog and I can do what I want.

P.S. If you’ve ever read a sales page of mine, you know that I understand Marketing Law decrees I should say something really important here, but I already said everything important. You want a business. I think you should have one. Summer Camp and Marketing 101 will make getting one really freakin’ easy. What else can I tell you?

Oh, I know. We talk about poledancing a lot. I’m not even sure why. But I’m pretty sure it counts as important. So there you go. Poledancing references and a business of your very own. What more could you want?