The Art and Science of No-Bullsh*t Business Cards
Business cards suck. There are about a thousand people in the world who have good cards and sadly, they all sell things I can’t afford to buy. Thinking of getting new cards printed for your home business? Here’s what not to do.
1. Don’t be too similar.
Have you ever been the unfortunate recipient of a real estate agent’s business card? Apparently, there is a rule in the house selling industry – if you don’t have tacky, laminated business cards with a bad headshot taken circa 1982, you can’t actually get your real estate license. If you take an average card and remove all industry specific information, you’ll still know it’s for real estate because it’s still shockingly ugly.
Round your corners. (Note: this is an especially good idea since the first thing to get ratty on a card is the corners. Ratty card = going in the garbage). Use strong color. Don’t limit yourself to 12-point Times New Roman or Georgia or Garamond. Use a picture of your dog instead of your own ugly mug. Whatever. Just differentiate yourself a bit.
2. Don’t be too different.
Having said that, there are those who suggest that making big changes to the standard business card format will get you noticed. This is true.
It is also true that the purpose of a business card is to encourage people to retain your contact information. Therefore, if you make it so they can’t keep it, store it, and refer back to it, you’re out of luck. Yes, many people store contact information in some sort of electronic format and yes, they might do that with your funky card. They also might be raging Luddites who hate Blackberry’s with the venom of Satan. Make it easy for them.
If you want to play around with cards that are oversized or weirdly shaped, go ahead, but make those into something that is not a business card. Make them your brochures, or mini-portfolios, or coupons. Your business cards should look like business cards. You have to give people something they can stick in their Rolodex. Yes, people still use them. Lots of people.
3. Don’t be too vague.
Can someone please tell me what a “computer consultant” does for a living? How about a “product specialist”? Anyone? If the average 17-year-old can’t look at your card and know immediately and exactly what you do for a living, your business card is bad. I don’t care how unique you are. I don’t care how innovative you are. If I don’t get it, you don’t get the sale.
Sometimes lame companies create lame titles which are hard to get around. Since you’re self-employed, you get to make up your own title. Either make your title very clear, or so wildly creative that people can’t help but ask what you’re talking about. The latter is a risky tactic since it only works when you’re handing your card out in person.
If your title is “President” or some such nonsense, you’d better be damn sure your business name or tagline make it crystal clear what service or product you provide. Otherwise, people think you’re just another cocky, title-happy business owner with far too much time on your hands.
4. Don’t be too specific.
Do not list every product or service you sell. Use a few specific words to describe what you do. If you cannot describe what you offer concisely, what you offer is probably crap.
5. Don’t give too much contact information.
Nobody needs to know how to get you through IM. Give one or two solid ways to get in contact with you (phone and email are probably fine) and leave it at that. Don’t waste prime real estate listing your number at the cottage and the coffee shop and your mother’s house. No-one cares.
6. Don’t give too little contact information.
Some people suggest only giving one method of contact so that you control how people get ahold of you. This is good if you want to be seen as a control freak or a snob. Some people hate the phone. Some people hate email. Some people (like me) hate Contact Us forms. Don’t make it hard for people.
7. Don’t use buzzwords.
There are two reasons not to use buzzwords. One, what’s buzzy now will not be buzzy soon. You’ll look hopelessly out of date and have to buy new cards. Two, 99% of the world has no idea what you’re talking about. The 1% who do know don’t need what you’re offering because they probably offer it themselves. The rest of us don’t want to call you because we don’t know what you do and that makes us feel dumb. If you make me feel dumb, I’m not going to call you.
BONUS: Don’t be lame.
Do not print your own business cards on perforated paper. Do not print your own business cards using an inkjet printer. Do not print your own business cards on lousy cardstock. Do not print your own business cards at all. They’re twenty bucks, people. Take yourself seriously, for crying out loud.
P.S. This post, while shockingly useful and relevant, is also an entry for YoungGoGetter’s business card contest in conjunction with Orange32. It’s fairly awesome and you should check it out.
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P.P.P.S Are you seriously still reading this? You may as well come and check out the comments, then.
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