Jan
21
The Internet Is Dead, or How Stupid People Get Attention
It’s been trending for a long time now, but I think we’ve officially reached the tipping point. What used to be just fairly common has now become a global sweeping phenomenon.
Once upon a time, ladies of good breeding wore corsets. Then nobody wore corsets anymore.
Once upon a time, house dresses were all the rage. Then nobody wore dresses anymore.
Once upon a time, bell bottoms were the shit. Then nobody wore bell bottoms anymore.
Behold, The Binary Declaration
It appears you can’t be considered a “thought leader” if you haven’t personally declared something popular, trusted and traditional to be totally dead. This is dead. That is dead. Nobody uses that anymore. Everybody’s using this now. (If you can use a Valley Girl voice when making your proclamations, that’s good. If you can keep your face totally deadpan, like this is the most serious statement ever made, even better.)
Be wary of any declaration that says “this is dead.” Be equally wary of the person making the declaration.
MySpace is dead. Everybody is on Facebook now.
Facebook is dead. Everybody is on Twitter now.
Twitter is dead. Everybody knows it’s all spammers.
Blogs are dead. Nobody reads them.
Static sites are dead. Nobody trusts a site without a blog.
Newsletters are dead. Everybody reads blogs now.
Interruption advertising is dead. Everybody uses permission marketing.
RSS is dead. Everybody does their reading on Twitter.
Email is dead. Everyone has too much email.
Duh.
When Google Wave came out, it was pretty trendy to walk around at conferences saying nobody was ever going to use email the old way again. Really? Nobody? Not even my mom? This is eerily similar to the 60s declaration that we’d all be flying to work by now.
I don’t use the Yellow Pages anymore. I don’t even own a copy. Then, the other day, I was planning my business cards for SXSW. I want letterpress ones, which are a little hard to come by. I checked Google. I checked local online directories. I checked with my friends. (It would appear that my local printing companies haven’t brushed up on their SEO School lately.)
Then I sucked it up and went next door to borrow the phone book.
Is advertising in the phone book a good idea? Hell if I know. Depends on what you do and who you do it for. Is interruption advertising a good idea? Depends. Are you advertising cuddly blankies on HBO or are you advertising half price pizza a third of the way through a hockey game? Jesus. Does anybody actually think this is one size fits all? (“Once size fits all” is dead too, by the way.)
There is no binary. There is no black and white. There are no standard answers.
“Experts” really like to make big, bold statements.
Big, bold statements get the links and the soundbites and the frantic conference tweets. “The internet is dead.” says @ittybiz (via @wannabe @copycat @sycophant @shamelessfangirl) #lamecon They get traffic and comments and big, bold ego strokes. They get book deals and media appearances and publications.
How Stupid People Get Attention
Producing content that people actually want to read and buy and share is hard. Stupid and lazy people deal with that difficulty by making sensationalist proclamations, the content creation equivalent of running around wearing nothing but a garter belt.
Sure, they get links — the kind of links that are rooted in the core belief of “holy shit, I can’t believe he said that!” Sure, we click on the links — who doesn’t want to see a grown man running through the streets of Manhattan in his wife’s underwear?
It’s a lot more difficult to create content that people want to read and buy and share on its own merits. It’s harder to get on TV when you’re being well-reasoned and thoughtful. It’s harder to get a book deal by simply being brilliant.
But do you want to be known as the guy in pink panties or the guy who changed the way we think?
Ahhhh. Beautiful. Well-done. Thank you!
I heard wearing pink panties was dead. It’s all about going commando these days.
I was going to say, “Pink panties,” but I have the feeling that somehow that’s the wrong answer. I’m not sure why, because if you saw me in pink panties, I guarantee it would change something in you. Like your eyes, from an un-exploded state to state of total explodedness.
My favorite one is “blogging is dead.” Man, they keep dragging old beast out every few years, don’t they? Let them. More clients for me.
I have you know my pink panties have changed the way a LOT of folks think, for a start they think “OMG it burns! My eyes! Why!?”
Ahem.
It seems a lot of folks are just doing really clumsy link bait, look at me, attention-seeking content. And that’s fine, but a very short term way to build awareness.
I’ll take ‘the woman who changed the way we think.’ You’ve offered up a great example of that right here.
I think people also make those statements to corral everyone so they won’t be missing out. Like, they’re too busy on Twitter for Facebook, and say “Facebook is dead” so that they won’t be missing a party on Facebook.
I remember a classmate in 9th grade telling her friend, “You’re going back to camp? No one goes to camp any more.” You know she was missing camp.
No one likes to think the thing they’re not doing is still the thing to do.
You’re going down a very dangerous road, hun.
Once you start thinking, you start making people extremely uncomfortable.
“What’s she talking about? Everybody knows X, Y & Z. I don’t get it and I wish she would shut up.”
Heh.
Welcome to my life.
One more thing: if the panties are pink from washing the red jeans in hot water, does that count?
Child of the ’70s yes I am.
Finally! Someone had the guts to say it out loud:
Declaring things dead, is dead.
;)
I want to be known as the person who wore both boxer-briefs and thongs. Sometimes even together. Underneath my Canada Goose parka, of course.
By the way, isn’t “thought leader” dead? Crap. I must be ahead of the times.
Gah! I love how you can just give us a meta-view of what happens every day on the web and with so-called bold experts. I am always amazed at your ability to walk around a topic, then nail it down to the core. And wrap it up with a pretty pink bow.
Or in this case, panties. :)
Great article! – I can tell you about one thing that is definitely dead though. Many years ago I bought a book called “The Yellow Pages of the Internet” where you could get instructions on how to view pictures and get different info on the internet, what protocol to use, what url to type in, etc. The content of the book and the idea of it was dead on arrival. Now I consider the purchase of that book – $25? – an investment into a collectors’ item. Such a thing will never be revived, will it?
It’s interesting that you started your post with a reference to “tipping point” – that’s another expert-like phrase that gets used, you know?
I don’t dispute your main point, though.
Oddly enough, I semi-inadvertently did something similar to this last night when I offered an explanation why “something” might have lost its mojo (but it’s certainly still breathing, eating breakfast, and running to work). I got a relatively large number of comments on that post, which was nice to see.
Mr. Pink Panties (above) had something to do with that, so thanks to MM!
At the same time, though, some things really ARE dead. But maybe it’s smarter to ignore that.
I hereby declare the death of absolutism!
And the world gives thanks that most shopping outlets don’t make pink panties to fit me.
Loved it.
Declaring things dead is so dead. /deadpan
In all seriousness, though, I often wonder whether these people who only post linkbait sensationalist stuff do it from a lack of trust in their own writing skills/voice to carry a real message, or a lack of trust in the internet public to be able to consume it.
Either way, they eventually drive _away_ their readers, leading to an enforcement of their beliefs. And the cycle continues… :(
What’s a phone book…
Well, I must say I’m disappointed, everything’s dead….
I’ll never use the interweb again….
That’s great!
Excellent blog. Thank you for it!
I must admit I sting every time someone chooses the word “Stupid.” That said, I clicked, and read this, and I’m with you on the all-or-nothing thinking.
I teach knitting, and there are holy wars in some corners, about what is the “right” way to knit. I figure if you make fabric you like, you did it right. Who cares how you hold the yarn?
I was not quite ready to think today, but you changed my direction.
@LynnH: I do too! Teach knitting, that is — love your description of the “holy wars” and I know exactly what you mean by that. My version is, “Unless it’s going in the state fair, you only have to please yourself, or the person who is getting the gift.” Who’da thunk there were two of us on here? Cheers!
“This is eerily similar to the 60s declaration that we’d all be flying to work by now.”
O.M.G. a flying car reference! Like, no one uses flying car references anymore! Like that is – so Not Cool!
I’d like to change how people think while wearing pink panties. Either I’m wearing them or they are. Whichever. Seriously, you have an excellent point. I especially love when people preface their own declaration with, “What I’m about to say is going to shock you.” Well, not when you warn me first, Bucko. By that time, my response is usually, “Oh.” I’ve felt this way about TV for some time. The brilliant stuff gets canned for the “This is gonna shock you!” TV that never really shocks us.
Is this like “No one goes there anymore. It’s too crowded”?
Brilliant article, BUT… you do know that I clicked on it because it said: “The internet is dead.” So there is a place for sensationalism and saying controversial things, tongue-in-cheek or not. It’s just that ONCE you get the people’s attention, you better have something groundbreaking to say. A gimmick with something solid behind it can be magic. A gimmick that stands all by itself in its underwear will piss people off and make them wiser for future interactions.
Leaving comments is dead. No one reads comments.
Really great post. It reminds me to avoid anyone that speaks in absolutes on the popularity of anything.
I read today that CDs were dead. Really? I get a CD mailed to me every month from a speaking program I am a part of. If they are dead, then who told the CD makers?
I don’t think anything good dies, it just loses the focus of the media and sometimes that is when it gets good. When the media stops paying attention and all the trend followers have found somewhere else to hang out, then some things get better, cheaper, and less crowded.
Or even the person who made you think. Lots of people seeking inspriation and answers don’t necessarily look to “thought leaders” for a change. I, personally, look to them to challenge my own view point and opinions. To provoke a reaction and help me apply new ideas to my current thoughts. By just attention-seeking-link-pluggers just pointing to worthless stories through sensationlist style promotion then all that will occur is the loss of their own credibility when someone genuinely brilliant challenges it.
let’s hold on to the sensationalist twits so that we can prove somebody does have the knowledge.
Good post.
“But do you want to be known as the guy in pink panties or the guy who changed the way we think?”
Id like to be the guy who pulled off the pink panties for attention then used that popularity to change the way people think… about fitness. You CAN have it all ya’ know. You just have to want it bad enough.
Brilliant post.
“But do you want to be known as … or as …”
You think I’m going to call that false dichotomy, right? Nah, too easy. I’m going to point out that both choices still start with wanting to be known at all.
Pirates of the Caribbean nailed this one, when the Commodore said to Jack, “You are the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.” And Jack’s spot-on response, “Ahh, but you have heard of me.”
If you want to be known for anything you have to first get that book deal and TV appearance. Once you’ve got people’s attention, then you can try to hold it long enough to say something smart.
Michael Martine would say it’s all about nailing the headline. Which I’m sure you already know, since that’s a pretty calculated headline right up at the top of this page.
Once you’ve got people’s attention, then you can try to hold it long enough to say something smart.
You’re preaching to the choir, darling. Although I would argue that one might encounter more success if one were to plan the keeping of attention before the getting of attention. Many once promising bloggers are falling down because they read a bunch of Copyblogger articles on how to write a great headline, then didn’t know what the hell to do with all the people once they arrived.
And false dichotomy? Without question. I said they could choose to be The Panties Guy or The Change Guy. I didn’t even include The Guy Who Pees In Birdhouses, The Guy Who Chews Table Legs, or The Guy With The Mohawk Who Went To School For Actuarial Science. And those are just the obvious ones.
Yes, it’s a false dichotomy used to make a point. Like an attention grabbing headline used to make a point. Or a ridiculous assertion used, satirically, to make a point. I don’t think anyone ever accused A Modest Proposal of being objective journalism.
The trick, as other commentors have wisely said, is to back your shit up. If you’re going to make a ludicrous argument simply to get eyeballs, you’d better follow up with something good. I bet Jonathan Swift’s traffic went through the roof that day.
Wait, you need good headlines and strong content? Next you’re going to tell me I need to have products for sale and ask people to buy them. How many things am I expected to be good at at one time?
Stopp.
You guys are making my head hurt.
Oh by the way, Table Leg Guy and Mohawk Guy sound like people I’ve known. But The Guy Who Pees In Birdhouses? What the hell? I can’t decide which is more disturbing, that you actually know that guy, or that that’s the first example you came up with off the top of your head.
Is it just me, or do you love talking to yourself on a consistent basis?
Nope. Definitely not me.
Oh thank you, Naomi! All the deadness makes it very intimidating for newbies like me to want to make a stab at this thing, but you make it all seem possible.
Actually, Dead is dead. Since 1991. At least if we’re talking about the Norwegian black metal singer… And he NEVER wore pink panties. Well, I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure anyway…
Leaving off topic: Great post, and so true. Delivering quality has always in history been harder than to just flash your nipples on Super Bowl…
Making comments is so dead.
I dunno about pink panties, there’s a guy in Times Square who wears nothing but tighty whities, a cowboy hat, boots, and a guitar.
Of course, given those choices I would rather be the person who changed the way others think. But sometimes I wonder if a little bit of sensationalism on the side wouldn’t help. After all, attention is still a valuable commodity.
Naomi, interesting read as usual! A member of my family recently went out on his own as a letterpress printer if you’re still looking. He could certainly use some help on the marketing front, so I’m sure some sort of barter situation would be possible. No pressure, just thought I’d put it out there.
OK, seriously though, I am wearing the bellbottoms to SXSW.
One word:
Brilliant.
;-)
very well said, thanks:)
Brilliant post. In addition to the attention-getting (media and otherwise) benefits of proclaiming something dead, it’s generally lower-risk, easier, and cooler to denounce something than to support it. If you say a movie’s crap, for instance, you are immune from criticism for that viewpoint — you can always claim to see beyond what its supporters see, whereas if you rave about it, you can be attacked for your bad taste. I also saw a similar principle at work in the corporate world. It is safer to be against innovation than for it because there is no risk of failure.
This is a perfectly timed post for me. Thanks, Naomi!
I’ve been starting to work on a new wardrobe for 2010. I’ve had the same style for like 10 years now and the style I’m suddenly in love with is apparently “looong dead” in my city.
Dead doesn’t mean uncool. After all, Zombies are cool. Vampires (non-sparkly types) are cool. Even fossils are freaking cool. :)
Time to bring this style back from the f-king grave!
I find that it’s the “thought leaders” who are doing the least amount of thinking. Listen to the little guy – he’s the one putting in the hours.
See you at SXSW!
Very well written, great job, great post.
So I guess that means you won’t be at SXSW this year?
My vote is with Naomi – the gal who invariably makes us STOP and THINK. We are all getting too darn lazy to even think for ourselves – that god for Naomi who shakes us out of our lethargy.
Think? People ACTUALLY think? Holy shit! I never thought about such a concept after listening to the news, reading newspapers, watching most network and cable TV. Hmmm! Maybe that’s why I gave up on all that stuff years ago. Great post, great thoughts, Gal. I got rid of my last pair of pink panties years ago – now, I just ponder (in my jeans) how the human race has survived this long and how much longer we have before we join the dinosaurs. I only hope there are enough of us who read what thinkers write and write our own thoughtful blogs, tweets, etc. to maybe help some of the species survive. With that said, I just want you all to know I just had yogurt for breakfast and I’m going in to brush my teeth now! I’m sure this information will change your day and your life – HAHahaha! Keep ‘em coming, Naomi!
Naomi,
had to drop in on this one. I remember 20 years ago when the factory where I worked would scrap 80 meg drives. After cleaning them of the old data the experts said you’ll never use all the space on that drive.
VHS or Beta?
DVD or Blue Ray?
CD’s or ipods?
Check out http://www.zakon.org/robert/internet/timeline/
Can not wait to write on air!!!
Hey Naomi,
Thanks for reminding us about what is termed behind-the-scenes, which are the actual issues (well, sometimes).
Time and again, the late (great?) Peter Drucker reminded us that maybe, just maybe, the “ivory tower intellectuals” don’t always hold the answers to the numerous challenges faced by institutions and organizations in our society.
According to Drucker, these corporate head honchos sometimes have no idea what the actual reality is. Smoking a cigar, wearing an expensive Brooks Brothers, three piece suit, enjoying a three martini lunch, and “good times” with your leggy secretary on the top floor ain’t gonna cut it.
Thus, people who we once considered “thought leaders” enjoyed mass appeal before they stole our money,took us to the cleaners, while laughing all the way to the bank. They wielded enormous power and influence and were totally oblivious about what was taking place on the shop floor.
Sometimes, those who are paid lousy wages and treated poorly by management and owners are the ones who work closely with customers and know how to get the job done. Such employees may have bright ideas, but who cares about them? Top management ain’t bothered about their input or customer feedback: maybe they are too busy getting a tan on the beaches of Bermuda or Hawaii to give a dang.
Great post, BUT…Did you find a letterpress printer????
Try wedding invitations in search…letterpress is used for small runs. It’s pricey, but awesome.
I’ve got 3 resources in Portland, if you’re still looking.
Being a thought leader is overrated anyway. Seems to me that real thought leaders don’t have time to blog about being a though leader and instead are actually doing something worth talking about.
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE. Great content is always good fodder.
To answer your question about the (dead) yellow pages…We own a cleaning business. A client called and when my husband asked how she heard of us, she started with Google Local, found our website, then checked if we were in the yellow pages as, to her, only legitimate businesses spent money on the yellow pages. That one account paid for our basic ad.
BTW – I am SO sick of self-proclaimed gurus. The best (worst?) one I saw declared that this recession has ruined the retirements of 20 something’s. Really? This genius can see 40 years into the future? Hmm. I wonder if they’ll be flying to work by then? :)
People have been predicting the imminent death of the internet for years. It isn’t going to go away. It routes around the damage people want to cause it. Protocols have even been extended to using Pidgons, & that’s without considering how much flash one could carry for bandwidth enhancement (There’s an RFC someplace in that sentence, that was science damnit!). So while it was likely for a buggy whip maker to go out of business, it’s also foreseeable that they will want to keep moving about on wheeled devices for about as long as there is flat land and gravity. The internet is more like flat land, and what things survive on it depends more on utility and use in the end than trendiness alone.
I’d point out that corset-ish clothing is making modern product & marketing comebacks, so you can’t really know what type of wheels you’re riding on until you give them a spin.
Which leads to the second point, buggy whip makers went out of business, wheelmakers did not.
Ideas come from solving problems more than they do as bolts of genius, so looking for the latter gets a bit more futile than the former.
People who use Linux flock around “distros” with this sort of trendy ‘let’s try this thing out’ attitudes about doing it. Their opinions evolve with their experiences, which vary.
I think businesses get in trouble with this the most from not creating, or being aware of the perceptions they’re creating. When people talk about being agile in business, they’re talking about how they’re clueless, or want to avoid being clueless about what others want from them.
Everything we hear and see we should not believe readily. It is a fact that most of us are gullible and we trust more of out instincts than making an analysis. It is up to us to allow ourselves to be fooled or to emancipate from our foolishness. :-)
Your timing couldn’t be any more perfect. I was at a bookstore today standing in front of the Marketing section–which now has 3 or 4 shelves filled with New Media marketing (yes, I know… books are dead).
I thumbed through a few of the books and I was struck with an overwhelming sense of disgust. The VAST majority of the books were either filled with things that were little more than common sense OR were books with these big, bold proclamations and nothing of substance to back up the titles (or headlines).
Thanks for this… it was a little affirmation at a time when I needed it.
For the first time, you make me feel being stupid is actually a smart thing, and I can stand by it. As I start my own blog recently on information use and management, (yes, everybody can get them, who cares?) good content is certainly the key.
Thank you.
Letterpress = etsy. It’s the internet, baby. You’ll find tons of very artsy letterpress designers peddling their wares. And I remember when they declared letterpress and hot metal dead. Geesh.
Whenever I hear the words ’such and such is dead’ my ears pick up for it usually means that something big is happening!
It’s the same when people say ‘it’s different this time’, like ‘the world economy is different this time therefore my shares will continue to grow forever…’
Loved this. Writing good content is my goal and whenever I hear people badmouthing the internet or blogging or whatever, it’s usually because of those “stupid people” you mention. It’s good to know there are still plenty of people out there who aren’t just trying to get attention.
I like to hope that hype dies and truth gets glamorous enough to be the most attention grabbing option.
Naked, untarnished, raw – truth already has great accessories.
Brilliant read Naomi.
Namaste,
Tina
I keep my phone book in the closet in case I need it as a booster seat when kids come to visit. Now I’m glad I do just in case I need a letterpress printer…
Seriously though, anybody who says everybody all the time is asking for trouble…
Comments on this thread have been closed.
Do you believe everything you read?
I am currently reading it on my Blackberry and will scan it once I get home. I love your site and marketing strategy.
haha..i have another one myself…the internet is dead…