The Magical Powers of Swag – A Primer
One of my favorite things in the world is swag. I mean yes, I like puppies and kittens and baby GIRLS and stuff, but imagine if they came free, gift-wrapped, and in my mailbox and I didn’t even have to ask for them. Even better.
Definition for those who don’t get the lingo:
“In popular culture, the term “swag” usually refers to promotional items or gifts that are given away by companies or organizations. Anecdotal origins of the word include Stuff We All Get, Stolen Without A Gun (police report jargon), and Stuff We Ain’t Got.”
The best way to get people to like you is to give them free shit.
Now for the caveats, and they are legion:
1.) The shit you give must be relevant. If you don’t sell mugs, don’t give me a mug. (Okay, maybe if you sell coffee, but that’s about it.)
2.) The shit you give must be appropriate. If you’re going to send me a t-shirt, don’t send a men’s Extra Large. (Thanks to Shane for reminding me of this one.)
3.) The shit you give must be attractive. If your logo is ugly, don’t slap it on a mouse pad and expect me to put it on my desk. Ain’t gonna happen.
4.) The shit you give must be practical. The most attractive helium balloons in the world will not endear you to me.
5.) The shit you give must not clash with all the shit everyone else gave me. Since you’re probably going to ignore #1, at least don’t ignore # 3.
Most importantly…
#6.) The shit you give must not be shit. Lame swag is far, far worse than no swag at all.
Some other swag tips for the home business owner:
If you can personalize the item, all the better. The dude at Mighty Mugs sells, you got it, mugs. And they are truly mighty. He sent me a free mug. I was able to pick my own photo and personalize a surprising amount of the elements in the mug. When I was too stupid to figure out how to do it, he offered to do it for me. This is a good freebie.
If you can appeal to my senses, this is good. I was in the grocery store yesterday and they were giving away samples of an incredible dark chocolate tarte. This is something I would never have thought of buying. Now it resides happily in my freezer, right beside the raspberries and icing sugar they told me to buy with it. (Interesting note: The woman giving out the samples made sure to tell me that this product was high in both fat and calories, and that I might want to consider not buying it. What the hell? Whole ‘nother blog post there, people.)
Don’t be afraid to drop some cash. Often, a swag campaign replaces a traditional marketing campaign. So cancel your Superbowl ad and use the free cash to spice up your swag. Wrap things nicely. Use better stationery. Make it nice.
Tangible is generally better. Except when it’s not. Really evaluate whether your swag is cool or not. Be honest with yourself. If it’s cool, try to give people something touchable. They’ll keep it. If it’s less cool but you’ve got to come up with something, make it a download. That way people don’t have a constant physical reminder of your lame promotional item.
Put some effort into it. Robert at Flying Solo offered to send me a copy of his book. Robert lives in Australia. He sent me an email asking for my mailing address and mailed it, old school, to my address. He or one of his minions wrapped the package and walked it down to the post office and sent it to me using real, lickable stamps. In our digital age, this is memorable. (Read about being unforgettable here.)
I KNOW YOU’RE SKIMMING, SO READ THIS BIT:
Charlie Pabst has a website called Ignite Living. Is your URL this cool? Probably not. Mine isn’t either, but anyway. He sent me a copy of his free ebook. He did not send me a free copy of his ebook. The book is free to everyone. It’s all free, baby.
Now, here’s the thing about free ebooks. I have read approximately four of them that aren’t wretched. For some reason, every moron who can’t run six words together to make a sentence thinks that a free ebook would be a brilliant promotional opportunity. (Here’s a hint: If any fewer than five independent and unbiased people have told you, without provocation, that you should write a book, put the pen down, Tolstoy.)
Alright. Back to Charlie and his non-shit ebook. This is the best thing I have read in a very, very long time. It is really, really good. (I’m not making any money by saying this. It’s free, for crying out loud.)
It’s a quick read and it’s straight to the point at 31 ebook pages, which we all know equals about 8 real pages. It is simple and concise and manifesto-ish and it will make you feel not quite so alone in the starting-your-own-business world. It’s full of quietly brilliant lines, my favorite of which is:
“It’s okay to suck at something as long as you suck at it on purpose.”
People, go read this book and then tell Charlie how awesome it is. Yes, there are a couple of typos. He still writes better than most of the writers I know. Epic potential.
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Oh god that’s funny… 31 pages equals 8… that’s so true. Add images and you can cut that down to 5, even.
BUT! Our free report at isn’t 8 pages of crap! In fact, we tell you how to hire a writer that isn’t us! (But we’re better, let’s face it. We know you’ll be back.)
Back on topic. I worked at Naya (yes, the bottled water) for years ‘n years. They gave us free clothing every year. We got two t-shirts and two sweatshirts blazed with their logo. We got jackets. We got turtlenecks. We got winter coats, headbands, hats, mitts… one year we even got to choose what we wanted (suede fall bomber coat, thank you very much.) Some of the clothing I have is over 15 years old - and has no holes, hasn’t faded or shrunk and still looks great. It’s even still in style.
Guess what? I still wear it and Naya gets free publicity every time I do. Smart? You betcha.
Suck on purpose — reminds me of the IM I sent my wife, the day after we bought a new vacuum cleaner. This thing SUCKS! I said, to which she replied, Yes, but does it suck in a good way?
Best (or at least, most memorable) swag I ever got was a tiny two cell flashlight, from a company called EMC, which sold mainframe storage. I told them that with that giveaway, they ought to be selling UPS systems. He got a thoughtful look….
I didn’t skim! I swear!
Pepsi used to give good swag too (sounds kind of obscene, doesn’t it?). I still have one of their sweatshirts hanging in my closet, it’s damn near threadbare after twenty years, but still one of my favorites. They also gave out concert tickets to big names (whoever happened they happened to be sponsoring that year) and a bunch of other things that made everyone look forward to the holidays, wondering what the company would come up with next.
@James: Shameless promotion…tsk tsk *whispers “Good job.” and then goes back to looking innocent*
OMG, that was funny. I was reading the shit and then started to skim and then BAM.
Caught me.
i’ve received two really cool pieces of swag: the best piece of swag i ever received was a HUGE beach towel from the last company i worked (i.e.whored) for. (i thought working for no pay was called volunteering, not a job…i was wrong). anyway, this beach towel is gigantic and gets used all the time since i live in the desert. fantastic. the second best one: a deck of cards. we play card games all the time so this was awesome.
worst? a big, plastic water bottle with that big, plastic straw sticking out the top. that thing went right in recycle. not fun to carry and had a hideous design on the outside.
we do koozies. we’re not a beer company, but college kids like our bagz. and what do college kids drink?
BTW, koozies also work well on box wine. just an fyi.
Thanks for the good read. And shit.
I read this e-book a couple of days and usually with free e-books i skim, however i didnt with this one, really well written and enjoyable to read.
Am making a mental note of how to make good free shit!
WHY DOES WORDPRESS NOT TELL ME ABOUT ANYTHING???
I mean, seriously. I have it set up to give me that little “ding” when I get email. The only reason that’s worth having is so that I can find out when I have comments. Last three days? On strike. ARGH!!!
Thank you for all your free shit stories. I love to hear about publicity products. I also like encouraging profanity.
@ Erin - What’s a koozie? Whatever it is, if you’re giving it to college students and it’s beer-related, that qualifies as good free shit. I remember when I was attending my five minutes of college, all the credit card companies gave out baseball caps. I’m going, do I look like the kind of person who wears baseball caps? Not an incentive.
@ Everyone - Naomi 1, Skimmers 0.
I found out about you from Charlie.I shall be stalking you!
koozies are foam insulators that hold your beer (can or bottle) so they stay cold. keeping beers cold is a high priority in college. at least it was for me. up there with finagling free pizza and other alcoholic beverages. and not having class before 10am. in that order.
Well I do give away subscriptions to our web and mobile applications which interestingly help new parents track their baby’s poop. I just can’t bring myself to type the “s” word here but you know what I mean. So I giveaway the gift of keeping up with your baby’s s#%*.
BTW Naomi, I just added your blog to my blogroll. :-)
I have one of the worst pieces of swag ever. A cheese cutting board with 3 knives and a magnetic knife bar to hold them up next to the cheese. Why is this the worst ever? Because it was given away by a company that sells large corporate email solutions. Their target market involves geeky sys admins and CTO’s. Anyone want some cheese with their email? Every time I look at it I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry since it symbolizes why a big pile of stock options recently became 0.
This post really has me thinking because swag might help get over one of my dilemma’s. I need a way of promoting the news site for moms I just launched. Somehow it seemed a little stalker like to start tossing a business card at every mom I see… but if I can come up with something really cool with the business name on it. Most people don’t mind being handed free stuff. Maybe something my daughter could wear or use that would get peoples attention…. hmm… am I a bad mom or a smart mom if I use my daughter as walking advertising?
From Charlie’s e-book:
“It’s written for the person stuck in the cubicle who’s wondering if maybe she’s broken. She’s got a great job yet for some reason all she wants to do is get the hell out and start her own business.”
Hey, that was me! I’m so glad to know I wasn’t/I’m not broken! And only a little over a month as a full-time freelancer, and the success I’m experiencing already is phenomenal. I kinda can’t believe it, but I’ll take it!
Thanks Naomi, for posting that link… and thanks, Charlie, for writing your non-sucky e-book!
i love free swag, it was one of the perks of working at my last shitty job and probably why i waited so long to get fired:)
@ Gia - Please stalk. I’ve always wanted a stalker. That and a pony. You don’t happen to ha… never mind.
@ Erin - Koozies = very good swag for your demo. You rock.
@ Aruni - thank you! You rock. And you don’t have to say the s-word. You get a pass. You work in the baby business.
@ Rose - Listen very carefully. There is no legitimate reason to have children if you can’t use them to shill for you. And I want that cutting board.
@ Tiffany - HI! Thanks for coming. I’m glad you liked the book. Charlie rules. And I’ll repeat, YOU’RE NOT BROKEN.
@ Michael - I have to admit, that’s been a factor for me, too. I worked at a high end pet food company owned by Mars (chocolate, not planet) and the free shit was amazing.
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I have been preaching the church of the Pen, Paper and Postage for several years. I realized on day a while back when I was emailing my wife from across the house that society was in trouble. From the marketing end, creating an emotional response, creates business. When you open up a mailbox full of credit card application’s and drug store FSI’s, seeing an envelope or package generates a smile and a simple question, “Who was this that thought of me?”. In our culture of “life at the speed of now” and where we spent more quality time with a Blackberry then our friends, creating a simple connection with a pen can have tremendous results.