Apr
29
This Is Not A Good Way To Make Money
Every now and again I get an email from someone who saw me do something really stupid and wonders what the deeper meaning is. Like, “Did you deliberately misspell ‘cannon’?” or “Is there some big marketing reason why you don’t have the price on your sales page?”
No. I’m just lazy and don’t check my work.
(The exception to this is when I don’t capitalize the first letter of my email subject lines. That’s actually been proven to dramatically increase open rates because it seems more casual and less salesy. No, I’m not joking. Adding happy faces and starting with “Re:” also help a lot. Just sayin’.)
Anyway, what I’m about to do is a VERY BAD IDEA if you are trying to make money. At the moment I’m not trying to make money, so I don’t care. I am about to talk about three different things that have three different calls to action. DO NOT DO THIS! EVER! I am only doing it because I am lazy and under a time crunch.
Having said that, we’ll move on.
(Oh, and by the way? I would read all the way through to the end of this. There is awesome there.)
STUFF! WE HAVE STUFF!
There are three very short term offers that have made their way into my consciousness lately. This is inconvenient because I have been throwing up for 24 hours and I have to fly to SOBCon tomorrow and I have the time for this like I have the time to track down clean underwear. (Did I say that out loud?) But I really, really think you might want to check at least one of these things out, so I’m doing some stuff that I will call Mini Reviews Except Not Really Reviews At All Because Who In Hell Is Actually Under The Misguided Impression That I’m Objective.
How To Start and Run A Business When Have Weird Needs And Priorities And Aren’t Cut Out For Doing It The Normal Way
Lee Stranahan (hottest thing since toast, I tell you) and our hometown hero Johnny Truant were talking and realized that they were both the weirdest motherfuckers any of us have ever met. Then they decided to create a homestudy thingie where you can pick the virtual brains of a bunch of other weirdos including myself, Sonia Simone, Chris Guillebeau, the dude who made 37 Signals, Marie Forleo and more. (Speaking of weirdos, I have it on good authority that in her really expensive year long mastermind retreat thing, Marie teaches pole dancing. As part of the business course. I am not making this shit up, people.)
Who it’s for:
People who are feeling really fucking alone
People who are not cut out for the type of business outlined in [insert random small business book from the shelves of Barnes and Noble here]
People who have zero resources and are wondering what in hell to do because they hate the idea of sitting in a cube forevah but feel they don’t have the shit they need to jump ship.
People with long commutes or those who like to knit. This is a lot of audio.
People who want inspiration.
People with active imaginations and those prone to flights of fancy. (In my opinion, the best way to use this product is to put the audio on and go about your business paying only 80% attention while daydreaming with the remaining 20% of your brain. 80% listens to Chris Guillebeau, 20% considers how to apply that cool gun thing from John Morrow to your own business.)
Important: Who it’s NOT for:
People who don’t like audio. This is 24 hours of audio. That is totally fucking INSANE.
The literal minded. This course has punk rock in the title, so it’s not exactly going to have a 43 point checklist.
My mom. (She hates Johnny.)
What the details are:
Because Johnny has read Dave’s and my book How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook — and because he was born from my entrepreneurial womb — Johnny is launching the **** out of this course. $97 today and tomorrow. $397 after that. He is NOT SCREWING AROUND with this. If you want the best minds in the biz to upload their brains to your hard drive, get in now. If you don’t like it and feel like they screwed you, you can always get your money back. Hell, if they don’t give it to you, you can always email me and I’ll give them shit in front of 30,000 people.
How to create residual income products that make money and aren’t lame
And speaking of Dave, he who launches the **** out of things, he has a few new things out that judging by my inbox, many of you have already bought. (Good for you, clever people.) First up is how to make and sell products.
Dave is the one who helps ME make MY products, and I am rich and famous on the internet. That should be testimonial enough. If not, I will give it a list like I gave Johnny’s.
Who it’s for:
People who need very clear, simple instructions
People who dig lists, checklists, exercises and so on.
People who like PDFs — this course is almost all written
People who are ready to MOVE. Dave does not pull punches and he doesn’t fluff.
Who it’s NOT for:
People who already know exactly what they’re going to sell
People who don’t learn well by reading
What the details are:
Dave set up an IttyBiz only page with a special price just for you guys. It’s good till the end of Friday. Both this and the list product we’re about to talk about are available by clicking here.
How to build and keep a list of buyers
This requires no explanation. You know if you need it or not.
Who it’s for:
People who think having a list is important. (I am a part of this group.)
Who it’s not for:
People who don’t think having a list is important. (I am not a part of this group.)
(Normally for a product like this one I’d say people who already have a great list shouldn’t buy but I have over 20,000 people’s email addresses and I still learned a shit ton from this product. So I’m not saying that here.)
Both the list and product classes are available by clicking here. These classes are not screwing around. If you have How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook, you know what I’m talking about here.
That’s great, Naomi. Now I’m totally confused.
I ignore more than 99% of the product review requests I get, even from my friends. Most of the stuff either isn’t up to snuff or is just not right for you guys. I would never, ever recommend crap to you, or even stuff that’s mostly good but just not totally appropriate for you. So here’s a little non-flowchart flowchart to tell you what to do.
1. You’re just starting out, you want to work mostly online, and you have a little room on your credit card.
Sign up for all three. Seriously.
2. You really don’t like what you’re doing anymore but you need the balls to do the thing you KNOW you should be doing.
Sign up for Johnny’s.
3. You have products but nobody’s buying them.
Sign up for Dave’s list building one.
4. You know exactly what you want to do, you just aren’t totally sure how the hell you’re going to convince anyone to pay you sums of money.
Sign up for both of Dave’s.
5. You learn best by stories and are down with doing a lot of the work on your own.
Sign up for Johnny’s.
6. You work almost exclusively offline, or you are a service biz with no plans to expand, or you are not ready for serious biz time yet.
Don’t sign up for either, but send me ten bucks as a reward for being honest and not trying to sell you something you don’t need.
Did you read the whole way through?
Good. Now you get to the fun part. If you decide to sign up for any of these courses, you get a Very Special IttyBiz Goodie. (We are all about the goodies.) I don’t care whose link you signed up with, I don’t care if you already bought three days ago, I plumb don’t care. We’re just giving away the goods.
We’ve put together The Best Of The SpeakEasy, a six-lesson combo of the classes the SpeakEasy members liked the best.
This is not available for sale. Not here or anywhere else. Not now. Not ever. (And the SpeakEasy is permanently closed. Just saying.) I don’t care whose link you signed up with, I don’t care if you already bought three days ago, I plumb don’t care. We’re just giving away the goods.
So, yeah. If you decide to buy the classes, we’ll give you the awesome. Just forward your receipt to the ninjas and we’ll hook you up within the week.
Remember, Johnny’s shit is here and Dave’s shit is here.
That is all.
Don’t know what email addy to use?
You have to send it to ninjas at ittybiz dot com.
Amusingly enough, I was just listening to the first module of Lee and Johnny’s course whilst knitting.
That was the line that made me laugh outright, having just downloaded all the files I noticed how long they are, chock full of good stuff, I’m sure.
I don’t knit, but I do I have an hour’s commute to London everyday which should do it.
Let me say this.
This.
But let me say some other stuff.
Some other stuff.
Ok, enough with that, it’s time to be sensible.
I have listened to the first hour of JBT and LS’s goal setting stuff on audio.
Honestly, I was nervous because even though I really like and respect both those guys and they’re both funny as fuck, I wasn’t sure what they knew about goal setting.
I didn’t want to feel compelled to call Truant up afterward and tell him to go and get a real job because it was bollocks.
I was genuinely impressed. I hear some real crap on goals and the like from people who should either know better, or who just shouldn’t be talking about such things because reading one book on goal setting does not an expert make.
It was very cool stuff and I SWEAR (come check if you don’t believe me) it in now on my iPhone to listen to at the gym some more because I suspect I can learn some new angles.
As for the HTLT*OOYEB, well that is just the dogs as we say in dear old Blighty. That’s a good thing btw.
Ooh, I got lucky… I totally forgot that I might screw up on the goals thing and incur the wrath of Brownson. Glad to hear we passed muster, albeit accidentally.
I’m always up for a hook up.
Sent.
Re: “sign up for all three”: Am I totally fucking retarded, or are there only two things?
Also, I can’t believe your mom hates me.
Dave has two things up for sale.
My mum would disapprove of you but my dad would love you.
Johnny,
I don’t hate you really… I’m somebody’s MOM, for heaven’s sake! The fact that I’ve survived you-know-who growing up should stand me in good stead. She only says these things coz she wants to know if I actually read IttyBiz (which I actually do). Love, Mom xxx
That’s okay. Even JOHNNY’S mom has serious misgivings about Johnny’s persona sometimes. Besides, she told me about the time you accidentally liked me when you thought one of my posts was hers. :)
Funny thing is i already bought these mama jamas. In fact, they’re the last 3 things I bought. THIS WEEK.
Must mean I’m doing something right, eh?
Now I’m truly going to rule the world. Well, at least share it with all the other smart folks that take you up on this awesomeness.
your non-flowchart flowchart thingy rocks.
also, why does your mom hate johnny?
have already signed up for QTR so am no going to go see what dave is doing. thank you!
I’m going to make a pitch for Dave’s thing.
I’m a member of Dave’s More Buyer’s Mastermind – and it’s really great. I’ve launched 4 products this year because of it.
In that sense, I think Dave’s course is a great companion to ours – we are covering the ‘what’ and Dave is covering the ‘how’. If that makes any ‘sense’. Man, ‘air quotes’ suck.
As someone who owns both, I totally agree. I’m going to be digging back into Dave’s stuff with a new focus from Lee/Johnny’s stuff.
I bought Dave’s stuff yesterday. Haven’t got very far into it, but I’m loving what I’ve read so far. Already got some new ideas! Well worth it.
Hailey Rene
I’m just impressed that I learned a new trick about sending emails with non-capital first letters in the subject line.
…and yes, that was marketing blasphemy to have 3 (or 2 as Johnny pointed out) offers in different directions, but don’t think anyone is going to hold it against you.
-Joshua Black
The Underdog Millionaire
Naomi, I second your mother.
i am going to go buy everyone’s stuff right now…truth be told, i just want to know you guys because you sound cool and for a smart, sophiticated and sexy mom of two boys, i love being around people who are happy swearing!
Thanks, Naomi. I dig free stuff. I feel all warm and fuzzy.
Given my current situation (no job, very little available credit, medical bills for a $22k surgery arriving in the mail ANY DAY NOW), buying any one of these is probably a really bad idea, financially.
So I bought all three.
LET THE MADNESS CONTINUE.
This is by far the most awesome thing I’ve read today.
…and now I’m going to go back to sitting in the dark, using as little A/C as possible, and listening to my shiny new MP3s. :)
Ok, I have a serious question that I’m not sure will get any answers, but I’m going to ask anyway.
I do feel alone. And I know Johnny’s class would probably be perfect for me. My blog is just starting and I need some help. I honestly don’t have the money to purchase any of these courses–but I’d so be there if I could.
So what do you do when you just really don’t have the money for all of these courses?
Once I start bringing some money in–I’m so totally there :)
What I did was encumber the credit cards (dumb) and sell stuff I didn’t need any more (smart).
There’s a ton of fantastic free stuff out there, Kari. This blog, my blog, a ton of other great blogs… even Question the Rules will have a public blog soon. I’d read all I could and interact with folks. You’ll learn plenty without spending a cent!
@Johnny: I’m definitely working on reading as much as I can. :) Maybe I can write a course about sifting through all the free information out there and deciding which is best for the reader? :) Thought of that as soon as I hit ‘submit’ :)
I promise though… once I have some money I can invest in courses, I’ve got a list of a few that I want–so I’m going to follow the blogs of the people who offer them :)
@Catherine: Can’t do the credit cards–they’re already maxed (part of the reason I’m working on all this to begin with) and I don’t really have that much else to sell–but great idea! :) My husband just sold his mountain bike yesterday–I just need to buckle down, stop worrying about buying all the courses out there, and work on creating material I can sell :)
“I just need to buckle down, stop worrying about buying all the courses out there, and work on creating material I can sell :)”
Sounds like the best solution overall. Put some of that aside into a fund for courses as a reward when you do sell stuff. Good luck with it!
Ok, so sorry to be the lame one with the sort of practical question True Greatness likes to shit on. I’ve gone over everything and it all sounds really, awesome, but of course that’s the point right? If it didn’t sound awesome it wouldn’t sell. And being that this is targeted at people like me, who just don’t have alot of money let alone a few hundred to blow on courses that may or may not deliver, it makes me a little antsy. I don’t want to buy something that turns out to not be the right thing for me after all which just means I’ve compounded my money issues by adding frustration to the mix. Ya feel me?
So I bought both of Dave’s workshops. I am undecided on Question the Rules. Why? Dave offers a refund if it doesn’t work out. It’s a safety net I’ve never used, but it’s one that makes me feel warm and fuzzy and justified when I’m spending money I don’t have. When a pricey program that sounds fan-f-cking-tastic is available but there’s no sign of some sort of guarantee that I will get something out of it… it makes me jittery.
Chances are Question The Rules is fantastic. Yet I like having that guarantee of Dave’s, not because I plan to use it, but because it tells me that the otherside understands that what works for some, may not work for others. The warm, fuzzy feeling. The one that can access my abused credit card numbers alot easier. Ya feel me?
Was going to take Dave up on his special offer that you said ws good thru the end of Friday but here in Pacific time zone at 9:53pm the offer is already over and gone.
Dave must be on East Coast huh?
He didn’t need my money anyways….He Sells The **** Out Of His Stuff :)
Is it just me? Naomi, all your URGENT emails take almost a whole day to get to me! Is there a delay across the US-Canada border? I feel very second class.
(The exception to this is when I don’t capitalize the first letter of my email subject lines. That’s actually been proven to dramatically increase open rates because it seems more casual and less salesy. No, I’m not joking. Adding happy faces and starting with “Re:” also help a lot. Just sayin’.)
Are you joking?! I’d hate getting your e-mails then. :/
Damn you guys! Here I was trying to focus on finding time to get involved in Third Tribe and now I have more to listen to. Honestly though, I am psyched about this….I recently had an epiphany about my work and life online, and that I’ve been stagnating myself because I’ve been trying to conform. I don’t conform in my offline life so why am I trying to do it in my online life?? Can’t wait to start listening!
Hmmm, curiosity got the better of me.
I’m heading over to Johnny first, then Dave….yes, I did click on your link (you love it).
Jamie “make money online or, well, or nothing” Pixon
Thank you for breaking down the “Who is it for” and “Who is it NOT for” — it’s super helpful!
Can someone periodically remind me to pull my finger out of my arse and read IttyBiz more often…
Farquing awesome deals guys
Naomi, I love that you tell us upfront who the product is good for or not. I can’t pay attention to audio,
I’m a visual person, so I will have to wait until a written version of “How To Start and Run A Business When Have Weird Needs And Priorities And Aren’t Cut Out For Doing It The Normal Way” is launched. I hope it happens soon!