Feb
03
Updates! We Have Updates! And Gossip!
I have many things to say. You may take comfort in knowing that they are all small things.
An update on my ass
So, this one time? At a funeral? I slipped and fell down the funeral home steps?
Yeah, it turns out I broke my tailbone or something.
This is only making the list so lots of people can come in the comments and say “sorry about your ass”. I have to get my joy from somewhere, and there’s an outside chance of a Guinness Book of World Records win.
An update on the sale
249 of you lovely people (not including the emails Jamie got) have commented on the Choose Your Own Adventure sale post. Happy anniversary to me, indeed.
If you commented on that post or sent Jamie an email, you should have received an email from me saying, “Dude! Thanks! We’ll get back to you ASAP!”
ASAP is taking longer than we anticipated, largely because y’all are some very creative people. I’m impressed. But it’s still taking us a while to get through your requests.
Stuff is coming, we promise. We’re responding to everybody, even you. If you haven’t heard from us, it’s just because we haven’t got there yet. Although that shouldn’t stop you from compulsively clicking refresh on your inbox or spam folder.
(A quick note to a couple of you, and you know who you are: Please make sure your inbox isn’t full. We can’t send you email if your email client sends us back an automated message saying, “Na na na na NA na”. Also, remember that we’re going to be emailing whatever email address you provided in the comments field. If you don’t know how to type or you don’t check that email address anymore, we are fresh outta options.)
And another one, just for good measure.
A lot of people loved the idea of Marketing School and SEO School for $50 or Marketing School, SEO School and How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook for $97. If, having considered the delectability of this offer, you decide you want that sale, you can have it whether you commented or not by clicking here:
The existence of that link does not negate any other offers. It’s just a little faster, and I’d rather not have 143 people email Jamie next month saying they changed their mind and they didn’t think they had any money but now they do and they feel like an ass for not commenting in the first place but pretty please can they have it?
That’s why we’ve stayed married for six years. Because we’re nice to each other.
And on to gossip, part one of four
Word is, Jen Louden’s retreat in your pajamas thing is awfully darn popular. One might want to get in on that if one were that way inclined, since the price is going up on the 5th. Also, apparently there’s a Valentine’s special where two people can get in for cheap. I am told you don’t have to be sleeping together to take advantage of this offer.
Still gossiping.
The lovely, wand-waving Megan Morris is upping her price on the Idea Catalyst Kit prontissimo. You can spend fifty bucks more later if you really want to, or you can buy it now. I still don’t make any money from telling you this, and I still think it’s the best thing since sliced cheese. Or the cat’s pajamas. Or the cat, wearing sliced cheese as pajamas.
OK, nothing is that cool. But if you send her a picture of your cat in that outfit, I bet she’ll comp you a copy.
Yup, still gossiping. Yowza.
The handsome Dr. Charlie and his sweet tree-hugging compadre Pam Slim are doing a real retreat, one that is not in your pajamas. Those of you in Canada or the northern United States may be interested to note that it is in PHOENIX. As in, Arizona.
Sure. Take your time. Let that sink in for a minute.
When Charlie told me about this retreat, I’m like, dude, it’s perfect for IttyBiz people. But not a whole lot of IttyBiz people have fifteen hundred smackeroos just laying around. (If you do, in fact, have fifteen hundred smackaroos lying around, Coach has a really cute pink tote in their Poppy line that I would die for. Please contact the ninjas for my mailing address.)
This is when he alerted me to the fact that I can’t read, and that they have payment plans. Good ones.
So if you feel like going to Arizona and getting in the good books of Charlie and Pam, you might want to spend your birthday money on this one. I have a feeling it’s going to rock. Go check it out. Aren’t they cute?
Gossip, part four of four.
Brad and Jen might be getting back together. I read it in a magazine at the grocery store.
(See, that right there? That totally wasn’t true. That was me covering for the fact that I begged Jamie to bring me gossip magazines in my sick bed. Or my broken ass bed, as is more accurate.)
how you can be so frigging awesome while in pain is beyond me – but i guess it’s just part of your talent/charm –or drug induced stupor? (like i love how you knew some of us who blew it re emailing on your anniv. would beg/whine to get in on the deals!)here’s hoping you mend SOON!! and mucho thanks for everything….you r the bomb!
Oh my goodness! I hadn’t heard about your backside until today. I’m so sorry!
I did this once too. In my case I fell down some stairs. Hard. It was not pretty – it hurt for weeks. Not only that, it still hurts years later if I sit on hard chairs without a cushion. Also since that time, I don’t sleep as well.
I never went to the doctor or anything. And now I kind of regret it. So if you haven’t already, you might want to go. Just saying.
And thanks for being totally awesome even while you are in pain. Nancy’s right – that’s unbelievable.
You have my sympathy… (“Sorry about your ass!”)
I broke my tailbone giving birth the first time. Still hurts now and then.
I am sorry about your sorry assbone. What’s funnier, assbone, or coxis? Coxis doesn’t look funny, but it sounds funny. Dirty funny.
Does anything good ever happen in a funeral home?
I think it might have been your body’s way of saying, “WTF was I thinking with that sale? Me want Star Magazine. Me go beddy bye now.”
I apologize if I’ve made your body sound less articulate than it is. That’s how mine talks.
Are you trying to make us laugh so hard we fall off our chairs and re-injure ourselves?!
Now I’m trying to figure out how articulate my backside is compared to everyone else’s.
Oh boy! I see it’s not coxis, but coccyx. That both sounds AND looks dirty. Excellent.
Hi Naomi,
Sorry to hear about your arse. Tail bones (coccyx) can take a while to heal, but I don’t think it will slow you down too much or will it?
Sorry about your ass! Thanks for the rockin call today.
Hi Naomi,
“Sorry about your ass.” Are you trying to put the fun back in funeral or the sore into sorry? Ass I was saying, I don’t want you to be the butt of jokes.
Sorry about your ass!
*laughing hysterically in background*
Ooooh–I hope your tailbone isn’t really fractured! I broke mine when I was in the 7th grade and have been the source of real amusement for gyn’s ever since. “Well, I guess you can’t splint that! Har, Har!” Actually the only residual problem through the years is that (it heals crooked of course) sitting in one position for more than an hour (read any movie) my rear tends to become numb. That’s right–my butt falls asleep. You would think there would be a short story there…
I broke my ass by slipping at the top of a marble staircase and sliding down the whole thing, one bump at a time. Let me just say, OW.
Also? Having to walk into a military medical clinic (hello, Navy brat) and tell the sweet, young (i.e., 18, just like me!) ensign doing intake that I need to have my coccyx x-rayed? One of the more humiliating moments of my life.
All of which is to say: Oh, I hear you. I’m so sorry! I hope they’ve given you the good drugs.
I remember when I was a kid, I hurt my tailbone and I had trouble tieing my shoes. I had to kind of spiral down into a sitting position. It wasn’t fun…
Oh and I hope you get better too!
Naomi, So sorry about your ass! How many of those do you need for the Guinness record? ‘Cause I could totally go tell all my friends who don’t know about this blog to come post “Sorry about your ass.” Just wanna help, you know.
Not to change the subject, but that sale link you posted is a better deal than what I asked for in my post! (BTW, you rock). How long do we have to take advantage of that before it goes away? I have to transfer money around to various places to get it into my PayPal account.
Anyway, hope your ass feels better soon. I was going to make a raunchy joke here, but decided to take the high road instead, ’cause my fingers started blushing when I went to type it.
Shit! I’m going to a funeral tomorrow, what the hell am I gonna do?
I don’t want to break my ass but I fear that I may trip and fall on my ass because I’ll be thinking about it the whole damn time…
I guess I could strap some charmin to my ass to protect it…
Damn it… my ass already hurts just thinking about it.
Great.
So, putting your ass in a sling isn’t just a metaphor?
Wow, this post has released a wake of broken butts! I know funerals can be a pain in the–sigh…
Sorry about your ass.
Sorry to hear about your ass, that must be a total pain in the b…
A friend of mine did herself an injury one time and ended up with an abscessed tailbone. And an open wound after treatment. Which is to say, *another* hole in her ass. Needless to say, the asshole jokes flew thick and fast for some time.
That is all. :)
“Sorry about your ass!”
Wasn’t that the line that was left on the cutting room floor after editing “Deliverance”?
BTW, thanks a bazillion for the sale. I’m jumping on that ASAP. Naomi and Jamie (and all you little ninjas), you rock!
I’d like to point out that since you are both Canadian and Faux British, I’m “sorry about your arse”. And the pain therein. I’ve never actually broken my ass literally, so you’re one up on me there.
You are one of the few people I know that can generate a hilarious blog post out of attending a funeral. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
You know, it amazes me how many people I know on the internet who’ve broken their asses. Hope yours mends soon.
Ouchies! I hope you recover quickly, that does not sound fun at all in any way shape or form, even if it does mention your ass.
How do you heal when you can’t sit on your bum though? Luckily, you’re very smart and in good hands so you should be able to find a way to rest up without hurting yourself too much. Big hugs!
Sorry about your ass.
My hubby’s is still sensitive from a surgery he had on the very end of his tailbone 13 years ago. Hot scar though. ;)
Sorry about your coccyx.
(I’ve been waiting to use that word in a real sentence ever since I learned it at the age of 12, so, thanks for that. COCCYX! Ahhhh.)
Don’t forget that donuts are great for ass injuries. Not only the pillow kind that you sit on, but the eatable kind also do a great job of padding for future protection — or so I hear.
Eep! I am definitely sorry about your ass!
When I was wee and stupid in elementary school, we had a small slide on the playground that we would go down on our feet. We called it “surfing”. It was all sorts of fun until the day I slid down on my feet, but then my feet kept going up and I landed on my ass from several feet in the air. I couldn’t sleep without a pillow under me for weeks. And even later in life, if I happen to sit down on something hard just the wrong way, it will send this horrible stab of nauseating pain up through me. Ugh. Injuring your tailbone is no joke! There is some pretty hardcore suckage there.
I’m sorry about your ass. Hope it heals up quickly! Phew, that would’ve been a little awkward to say in real life.
(Omg though, at the funeral? You poor thing.)
Sorry about your ass! I gotta ask, what was the reaction like? I mean, people are at a funeral, so Funniest Home Video hysterical laughter is probably out of the question. I’m putting in a guess of ‘disapproving stare’.
Think of it this way: It would have been worse if you were a pallbearer.
You WEREN’T a pallbearer, were you? Eee.
Best of wishes to your ass. Also? Look up the song “My Neighbor’s Ass” by Tim Minchin. Utterly. Hilarious.
You didn’t say what you were thinking about when you fell down on your ass. Dare I guess that it was about the idea of me learning marketing? That just might be funny enough to cause most people to fall over. OK, I thought not, but a girl can’t help but wish she is actually thought about by someone who’s awesome and funny, and generous. And has lots of followers.
Loved the awesomeness of the sale. IttyBiz rocks, IttyBiz rocks, IttyBiz rocks, or should that be Naomi and Jamie? Either way, I’m studying now with the little ninjas and their ideas are sneaking into my mind while I sleep…
Sorry about your tail bone and I hope you feel better soon. Keep some Motrin handy, you’ll really need it once you start sitting down without your doughnut cushion. I’ve broken mine twice now. Second time was just as bad as the first. Unfortunately, now my tail bone is sensitive to changes in the barometric pressure. In your pained condition, feel free to take that comment and make all the bad jokes you want about it. They’ll make you feel a whole lot better.
Thanks for reminding me about the sale. I’ve been focusing on deadlines, so sometimes it takes a few shots before I catch things.
Get well soon!
ooohhhhh! Poor you! So sorry to hear about your bent coccyx. Your dilemma reminded me of something that used to happen in college (a long, long time ago). I went to college in Rochester, NY. Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) was nicknamed “Brick City” because it was made of well … y’all figure it out! I don’t know whose brilliant idea it was to build a campus made out of bricks. It gets cold in Rochester. Freezing cold … and freezing cold wet stuff on bricks; not good. Well, the guys that lived in the fraternities bordering “the quarter mile” would sit outside their houses so they could watch everyone wiping out on the frozen bricks….and people wiping out on the frozen bricks happened a lot … but the sight of it never got old. Ya gotta remember, this was in the days before the internet, before PCs … heck it was before cable! Yes, in the dark ages we had such simple ways of having fun …
Hope you’re back on your feet and off your ass soon Naomi!
So very sorry about your ass. I just found your site a week ago and I’m loving it so far.
Sending my profound sympathies to your ass.
Sorry about your ass!!
I just wanted to tell you that I love you. These ebooks are amazing.
Just had to come back and say that Marketing School rocks! I’ve made more progress in a couple of hours with it than with anything else I’ve tried. And it happens to be much preferable to doing laundry, or dishes, or shoveling snow from the driveway. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.
Oh yes and “Sorry about your ass!” I forgot to say that with my last comment.
Darn – unfortunately my cat is at my parents house 150 miles away.
Otherwise you can bet your broken ass I’d be down to the garage for a jumbo pack of Kraft cheese slices and an evening of cat dressing fun.
Maybe you could put some cheese slices on your ass?
Wait. Nevermind.
Ouch. Sorry about your ass.
I don’t mind the delay on “Choose Your Own Adventure”. Gives one of my clients more time to pay up so the Paypal account will have something in it.
Heal well, Naomi. I hear chocolate is good for broken asses. Maybe bacon chocolate would help?
Poor ass. Poor, poor ass…
Hi Naomi,
I know you’re really busy and I don’t mean to be a pest, but I sent my payment over for the e-book + consulting deal and haven’t heard back from anyone yet.
I’m sure my purchase just got lost in the shuffle, but I’ve sent two follow-up e-mails and still haven’t gotten the e-book.
If you could send out an update on when that stuff would be available, I’d really appreciate it.
Thanks!
Trea’
Dude, I totally had a dream about you the other night.
Not *THAT* kind of dream. Ew, not about a girl.
*ANYWAY* you totally rocked, and were all, like, elfin and cool and I was at your house and everything, and you were about to run a workshop and…
Well, in the dream your ass was fine.
So, well, apparently it wasn’t a premonition dream.
Unless it was a premonition dream about your ass getting *better*.
And you getting elfin.
And me coming to your *house*.
Oh, god, now I sound like a stalker.
Never mind.
Naomi, sorry to hear about your accident. I hope you’re ok now. Don’t go breaking your tailbone – it’s no joke!
Uh, you’re gonna want to wring my neck for asking this, but is it too late to send my Choose Your Own Adventure sale?
As one of thy brethren who actually HAS broken his tailbone (compression fracture, 5th lumbar) I can say — with conviction — SORRY ‘BOUT YOUR ASS.
It’ll feel better in time, and we’ll always laugh when we think about this post, so it’s a win-win.
;)
Sending a totally unpervy hug to your sore bottom half. Goodness – poor woman! Hope you’re on the mend.
AND AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR AWESOME SALE!!!THANK YOOOOO!
Oh and I bought Megan’s fabulous Ideas Cataylst BEFORE the letter giving notice to reposses my flat came through my post box! Hmph! Either way though I’m not moaning but it IS totally awesome and yesterday the question of how my ‘hero’/mentor etc would act if they were in my place – really helped me to reach out and find the support that I needed. By that I mean I connected with this idea so strongly that it had me trying out something that I have been totally resisting to exploring up until then – and it worked. Acupressure for SUPER stress? Eat your friggin heart out!
Thanks ladies!
Anyway hope you are doing and certainly no more falling on one’s bottom!
Phew thank God – Jen and Brad. Was worried for a second there.
Oh and YEAH SORRY ABOUT YOUR ASS!
X
from a fellow ass breaker… that totally sucks! Mine was an unfortunate meeting of pavement and ass (damn rollerblades!) Anyway… hope your ass is all better soon! This is my first post to your blog and I’m doing so cuz I love, love, love your marketing stuff! I got the Marketing School, SEO School and How To Launch The **** Out Of Your Ebook. I’ve bought other stuffy marketing e-books and never worked with them. I finished the Marketing School already and even did all the assignments! I love your work… it makes all this marketing stuff (dare I say) fun! Thanks Naomi!