What To Do When You Hate Your Job
In The E-Myth Revisited — a book which everyone with a small business is expected to say they have read, devoured, and worshiped, even if they thought the running parable was incredibly lame — Michael Gerber talks about owning a business versus owning a job. For those of you who haven’t read it, and have subsequently had your “I’m A Credible Small Businessperson” bumper sticker revoked, I’ll recap.
The very, very, very short version:
If you run a business that won’t make any money if you don’t show up and work, you don’t own a business, you own a job.
Yes, it’s a job that you chose. Yes, it’s a job you can do while watching Ellen and eating stale Doritos from the bag. Yes, it’s a job you do where you don’t have the same boss every day. But it’s a job.
Now, a lot of people think that owning a job is stupid. They think it’s not entrepreneurial. They think it’s not serious. They think it’s a recipe for failure. Other people think that they don’t want to be the next Michael Dell, they just want to make some money while staying home with their kids. Generally, I’m in group 2, but sometimes that changes and I think my job is totally fucking retarded.
Here’s the thing about jobs, though. Sometimes they suck.
I left high school at 16. Tomorrow I will be 27. I’ve had a lot of jobs, most of which I’ve hated. I won’t go into eyeball numbing detail, but the takeaway point here is that I have entitlement issues, problems with authority, and what some believe to be a mental illness. I am essentially unemployable, so I don’t go out to work anymore. Instead, I stay here and work in my own little job that I made for myself.
I repeat: Here’s the thing about jobs, though. Sometimes they suck.
Sometimes you hate your clients and sometimes you think what you do for a living is stupid. If you’re a writer, you think that you quite simply do not have it in you to string two more words together. If you’re a marketer, you have days when you know you are taking someone’s money to get people to their website, even though you know those people will just leave again because the product sucks and you feel awful about it.
If you’re in any business, there are times when you’re horribly, horribly bored and wonder if this — whatever this is for you — is what you’re doomed to do every day for the rest of your life. (At least in a day job there’s a hope you might get promoted or transferred to another department. At home you are the other department.)
“Thank you, Naomi,” you say. “That was incredibly depressing. What’s your big advice?”
Wait and watch.
Enter rambling analogy.
You know those times when some huge decision has to be made, and we call it coming to a crossroads? It’s an apt metaphor, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.
When we think of a crossroads, we think of a Y shape… you are going along your merry way and then for whatever reason you can’t stay on your road anymore. You have a choice. You can go in one direction that is different from the one you’re going now, or you can go in another direction that is also different than the one you’re going now.
The whole story is that we come to many, many crossroads in our life but we don’t notice them or make a big deal of them because most of them aren’t Y shaped. They’re kind of… F shaped. Or E shaped. You can keep going the way you’re going, or you can turn and go off in a new direction. The chances to do this come up a lot, but you don’t usually notice them because there’s nothing wrong with the path that you’re on — you’re not forced to leave it — and it therefore doesn’t occur to you to get off the path. Kind of like a bunch of Es in a row, on and on and on, until you hit a Y.
When you find yourself hating your job, here’s your 2-step plan.
1. Watch for Es.
Slow down, or stop if you have to. Ain’t no point in barrelling head-first down a path you might soon be getting off anyway. Look around you. Look at the little paths you’ve been encountering, analyze their terrain, see if it’s better or worse or basically the same as the one you’re on.
2. Wait.
Something will happen. Sometimes it will be a little thing and sometimes it will be a big thing. Sometimes it will be a bunch of little things. Sometimes it will be a combination. But mark my words, something’s gonna happen. It’s a law of the universe — shit keeps going on, even if you’re not involved.
When your something happens, take it as new data, and make your decision from there. You may decide that yes, you really do hate your job and you’re going back to school to become a speech language pathologist. You may decide that you won’t. (More likely the latter… speech language pathologist is fairly specific and good God, do you know how much school it takes to do that job?)
Here’s my something:
While I’m pretty happy with my job and my income, being pregnant makes me feel incredibly sorry for myself. I was already wondering if this was all there was… if constantly canvassing for the next gig and the gig after that and the gig after that was going to be my life until I retired or I sold a bestselling novel and could retire to my den eating bonbons and wearing a pink fluffy boa. Then I got the flu, which is world renowned for making you feel like shit about yourself and your life.
Monday morning, when Jamie and Jack were both solidly in the throes of illness, I had to go to the pharmacy. Normally I would walk but because of the aforementioned sickness, I decided to take the bus. I threw on the nearest and least disgusting clothes I could find (hint: they didn’t belong to me), and got ready to get on the bus.
If you ever want to see how the other half lives, get on the downtown bus at 8 o’clock on a Monday morning.
Everyone looked so DEPRESSED. They, like the rest of the Western hemisphere, were all sick as well, but they didn’t have the luxury of leaving the house looking like a slob. They were on their way to their miserable jobs feeling like shit and knowing they couldn’t take a sick day or they might get fired. The total misery of the people on that bus cannot be understated. I looked around and went, “MAN, I’m glad I’m not them.”
Anyway, I went to the pharmacy and did my crap and came home to three emails from complete strangers. Here are excerpts:
“In Yahoo, I entered “What to do when you feel like a failure” and found your post “What to do when you feel like a raging failure.” I can hardly believe it, but I found some energy to keep going.”
“I’ve been reading your blog for about an hour now and just love it. I like to tell folks when they’ve improved my day, and that’s what I’m doing right now. So thanks, and enjoy the Goldfish.”
“I’m asking you because you’re honest and abrupt and swear with abandon. You’re bodacious and reading your posts makes me feel like a rockstar…all confident and flagrant and whatnot… Thanks, whether you get to this or not…your blog was a blessing today.”
It could have gone the other way. I could have come home to hate mail — I certainly have in the past — and come to an entirely different conclusion. It really doesn’t matter either way. But if you hate your job and don’t know whether to keep going, just wait. The universe will tell you, either way.
Naomi -
Just keep rocking. Your posts cut to the chase in a way most people’s don’t, and your advice gets people to think about what the f*ck they’re doing rather than just churning along.
Some days suck … but you’re making a difference for other people. And that should make you smile. Or at least laugh, (maniacally, of course).
For now, I have the dubious pleasure of living in both of those worlds, which makes it really easy to dump all my hate on the 9-5 job and enjoy the blog consulting. But serving two masters, as someone once said, is a pain in the ass. Until I have more money saved, this will continue to be my life. After that, I’m sure I will find something to hate about blog consulting.
But I betcha I’ll mostly love it.
Naomi,
I have run across a few E’s recently that I am exploring, and things have been happening that make me want to go further down some of those paths.
Life is about choices, and opportunities. Life is certainly too short to spend it in a state of constant depression.
Thanks for the words - you made me smile! :)
Oh dear.
I read the word “bodacious” in this post and got thoroughly terrified that it didn’t mean what I thought it meant when I wrote it to you.
So I Googled it, and I totally swear I was referring to “bold” + “audacious” = bodacious (little b) and NOT one of the most famed bulls in professional bull riding history (big B). I swear! ;-)
Hope today was golden for you…
Good god woman. how do you read my mind like that? Thanks for posting this. I am feeling pretty shitty today and am questioning why I blog, and if anyone is even reading.
Thanks for making me laugh.
I just had an “E” moment not five minutes before reading this blog post. I told my boss about two weeks ago that I was planning on moving to another state but that I wasn’t sure when. I just made the decision yesterday that it was going to be at the end of April. Today, she asks me if it was alright if she started training someone for my job since I was leaving soon anyway. Now mind you I hadn’t given her an exact date. Just a “sometime in the future”. I could have been a coincidence but I’m pretty sure it was a cosmic kick in the butt.
As always Naomi, thanks for the great post and the continued motivation and just for being cool like that. :)
In a different context, an “E” moment would mean a totally different thing. But then again, maybe not. Heh.
Thanks Naomi.
Here’s my summary of Michael Gerber: You should all be management consultants (like me); if you have made yourself a job - that is, are working at what you love and are getting paid for it - you’re a loser: instead you should be like me - a management consultant (and big time w****r). I do think there are some useful things in the E-Myth (basically: work smarter not harder). But as for that patronising parable - the best I can say is that it is unlikely to be an accurate reflection of building a business with all its unpredictability.
I really like you advice to wait - this piece of advice isn’t common and yet I think it can be very important for me. But I can be a bit impulsive at times.
Well I hate my day job (especially today) and your blog makes me feel like a rockstar, too. You’re absolutely right, shit is always happening, and something is bound to happen to me sooner or later.
Thank you for writing such an awesome and encouraging blog.
Naomi, you are bodacious in the way your personality comes through these posts. I Googled the word too, and got this link. Heh.
I think that girl on the left is my sister.
Anyway, I had a bunch of crap jobs too, and some I liked just fine. Then I owned a job, and now I own three. And I love it. Even on those days where I just can’t think of a reason to explain to the 9,000th person how to set up a Tickler File. Or what a Context is. Because some days I meet folks like you, and Clay, and Dave, and James. And the rest of the regular commenters too (don’t want anyone to feel left out).
Rock on.
This post resonates with me as it kind of describes one of my central issues from the past two years. I’m taking the E as we speak (and had already worked it out long before I read your post). We’ll see how it goes.
Once again you’ve managed to say just what I needed to hear. If you get really bored, you could add a sideline in Psychic Hotline Consulting.
Hey people! You know when you write a TOTALLY AWESOME comment on a blog and it disappears into the internet? You know how much that sucks? It somehow sucks EVEN MORE when it happens on your own damn blog. Ugh. Moving on.
@ Dave — Your names slay me. Totally awesome, as usual.
@ MM — Indeed. Day jobs are excellent for directing the wrath. I have a feeling you’re going to be mostly in the I-love-my-job camp. You’re right though, there are days when you look around and ask, “Who’s brilliant idea was it to get involved in this?” Love the E moment idea. Certainly puts a different spin on it. :-)
@ Brett — We will be awaiting updates!
@ Crystal — I totally knew what you meant. I did not know about the bull, which is possibly even cooler. Thanks for the email.
@ Sandra — Blogging’s funny like that, isn’t it? Some days you’re on top of the world and others it feels like the most futile exercise in human history.
@ Arwen - I love cosmic kicks in the butt. I haven’t read The Celestine Prophesy in a trazillion years but I seem to remember it talking about the total lack of coincidences in the world. Then again, maybe it was the Bible. Where are you moving?
@ Evan - Love the summary. Perfectly put. I’ve been known to be a tad on the impulsive side myself. ;)
@ Tanya - You’re sweet. Kick your boss in the head for me, ok?
@ Stephen - LOVED the link. Awesome. When it comes to the 9,001st person, you have my full permission to say “Because I FUCKING SAID SO!”
@ Mark - Our fingers are crossed for you!!
@ Mary Anne - I’m glad I could help. Sometimes it’s just one of those days. Amalah.com does that for me. I’m always like, “See? AMY gets it!” Hang in, hon.
Hah, thanks for that. Sometimes I need a little levity.
“Because I f’ing said so!” Brilliant! I actually got an e-mail last week in response to a post that said, in essence, “What makes you an expert on productivity?” Can you believe it? I replied, “I have 350 days worth of blog posts that prove it, you ignorant slut” (my apologies to Chevy Chase).
I thought about apologizing to my readers in case she shows up somewhere with @Stephensucks.com, but you already did that post. My wife certainly believes that I have entitlement issues, problems with authority, and what some believe to be a mental illness too.
In fact, one of my favorite moments (that I will cherish forever, S*****, you ignorant slut) is this little exchange: “Stephen you make me so angry. You are constantly correcting me and counter-dicting what I say.”
My response? “No, I don’t. And I think you mean ‘contradicting’, don’t you?”
Ha ha ha. Pure comedy gold!
@Stephen: I JUST got the whole “@Stephen” & context thing. I’m glad we’re down, because if I actually had a productivity alliance, we’d be from rival gangs or something and — given that I’m new to this game — I’d end up dead in a ditch somewhere in the blogosphere with a cap in my ass. Thanks for rolling me into your posse. P.S. You should introduce me to your sister.
@Naomi: Now that you’re bodacious, let’s get you informed on the topic. Here are some definitions from Urban Dictionary:
1.) Prodominately used during the 80’s and early 90’s, bodacious is a combination of the words bold and audacious. To be bodacious is to be impressive, awesome, brave in action, remarkable, prodigious. “Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened.”
2.) Large, impressive, awesome, remarkable, prodigious. “You cooked up a bodacious pot of stew!”
3.) Extremely good looking. “She is one bodacious babe.”
4.) This retro word from the psychadelic era suggests a combination of fun, flare, originality and style. Lets get the word back into circulation!
I vote for #4.
@ Naomi - updates will come! I’ll just “keep on keepin’ on” as Dave says (now I have the image of Joe Dirt in my head, I’ll have to watch that movie this weekend…)
Slow steady progress with a clear vision. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and I’m not even trying to build Rome. Just a small house in the countryside, on a hill, with a view of Rome’s bedroom communities. :)
Naomi,
From one at-home business owner to another, this is a really great post. While starting your own business is often stressful, with the occasional 14 hour work days and sleepless nights, it still beats the alternative. I’ve thought “MAN, I’m glad I’m not them” many times…
The E-Myth Revisited helped me get my business (Select Tech Professional Services, an IT consulting and Standard Operating Procedure development company) off the ground. I’ve recommended it to countless people since then. We’re even doing an Executive Book Study of this book for aspiring small business owners starting next week.
To all the “thems” out there who hate their jobs, don’t give up! Just slow down and look for the E’s in the road. Strike up conversations with everyone because there’s no telling who they might know. Network a little every day. Don’t be afraid to ask for favors - most entrepreneurs are happy to help others succeed in any way they can. At some point your E will come along and there’ll be nothing left but to take the plunge.
Again, thanks for the great post. Always an inspiration…
There’s something to which we can all relate!
The worst is having a great job and a terrible boss. That’s when decision-making gets real hard. Try to shift to another department as opposed to quitting. If that fails, finding a new job with a respectful boss is more important. Great bosses make a boring job fun. One should not be in an abusive or disrespectful relationship in their private or professional lives.
Nice.
@ Jaden - I’ve been there a few times, and then recently I read something about workplace happiness, as pertains to a good job and a bad boss.
If one were to assign a dollar figure needed to displace boss-related unhappiness at work, for the ‘average’ person, that figure would be about $40,000 per year.
So, any bosses out there reading this - be nice. It pays off…
This is a great post; thanks for sharing.
Michael Gerber’s book has always struck me as annoyingly patronizing, but with a good message. If you can get past the tone (”you should all be like me”) then there are some real insights.
I have struggled for years with building a business instead of building a nice job for myself. It is very easy to lose yourself in working *in* your business as opposed to working *on* your business.
Of course, even a job you build for yourself is better than the job that all those 8am downtown commuters have to go to. Keep that in mind.
And by the way… Happy Birthday!
Hi Naomi,
I’ll be moving to the great state of Michigan come May 1, 2008. My knees are knocking but its what I gotta do.
@Kyle Claypool
You are certainly right about the need to get yourself out there and network. I’ve found that the more you help yourself, the “luckier” you become.
[…] IttyBiz » What To Do When You Hate Your Job […]
Happy birthday, girl!
I hate my day job like I hate Republicans (although I like my paycheck & my health insurance), and in the course of coming up with new shit to do, my life looks not so much like an E as that Russian letter that sounds like zh and looks like a squished spider.
The hatred keeps me moving and keeps me from giving up in exhaustion, so I’ve got that going for me. And the squished Russian spider is going to lead somewhere cool, although I’m not quite sure what yet. I keep moving. Not forward, exactly, but sort of sideways in 8 directions.
And when the urge to whine becomes overwhelming, I try to remember that I have a nice little house and plenty to eat and a gorgeous child and a sexy husband and tulips coming up in the garden, so fuck everything else, it will all work out.
xoxo
[…] What To Do When You Hate Your Job - Itty Biz (skin head young woman that somehow got pregnant and opted out of the career life in the […]
As a freelancer, I’m happy not to have required reading.:-)
I’m glad I found your blog. I’ve had these moments lately during a time of being under the weather and unable to work. Luckily, my “job” isn’t as horrible as the one I left. I don’t have to get 25 people’s permission to get sick.
I used to do to train commute. Every day for years. Now I rarely take a train, but when I do it makes me happy I work at home.
Feel better soon.
@ Naomi,
This is all sooo true ! Sometimes, all you have to do is slow down and start asking yourself questions about your life/job, and a gigantic kick in the butt will come help you move on… Anyway, it works with me :)
Oh, and I wish you a very happy (late) birthday from a fellow pisces :D (mine is tomorrow)
I missed your birthday. Happy late birthday!! I hope it was awesome and pukeless!
My job sucked. well actually it didn’t suck, I just hated it.
Luckily I created a situation (with passive income) where I could quit if I had to and I did. what a relief!!!
I have to admit you do have a knack of pushing the right buttons. A lot of business comes down to working like crazy in the preparation phase then waiting for what seems like an eternity for stuff to happen without killing all your loved ones. Great post.
God that’s a great post Naomi! I just came across your blog via Stumbleupon over the weekend, and revisited it this morning to find this. It rings so true for me right now - I’ve been pretty much feeling depressed and like shit for months in my current job, and I came to my crossroads recently and made the decision to leave. I’m feeling like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders, and I can move on to new and (hopefully) better things.
I do know that I’m not the only one who gets to feeling like this about their job, but it’s still good to read something that really lets you know that you’re not alone. Thanks!
[…] at IttyBiz wrote a (not surprisingly) great post last week about how to make the jump toward starting a business when you hate your current job. […]
The world does indeed move in mysterious ways. It is amazing what comes our way when we only try to keep seeing those E’s and what not.
I often use the tree analogy. Life is like a tree, it roots us to the ground and while we tend to sway in the wind we grow while exploring different directions. Sometimes we get stuck and at other times it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
In the end we build a massive foundation of life and all that it’s worth.
[…] by contemporary clutter especially by those who have no idea of what it means to wait and Naomi of Itty Biz writes about waiting and analyzing the Y’s and E’s in the road (read the post […]
[…] are many roads we can choose in life. Naomi at IttyBiz wrote some time back about watching for the E’s and how the universe will give you a […]
Hey Naomi,
Maybe we are kindred spirits. My name is Ellen, I sign it E, and when I think of Y, well, I’m on a bed.
I have also done everything from scrubbing toilets to…taking pictures! *said brightly with stars in her eyes*
I like your blog. I like the way you swear. And when I think of you I now will envision: Y’s, E’s, and Doritos.
Seriously now, you are insightful and funny. Funny is hard to get these days. E
Oh, forgot to mention I found you on Brett Legree’s blog. Thanks Brett.
Ellen - you are welcome! That’s the neat thing about how this works, I found you because of Naomi’s blog indirectly, via Men with Pens… :)
(and not only does your blog still rock with great words and pictures, your new theme really rocks - it looks GREAT!)
Brett,
No, please, you are the king of Rockness. *blushes because doesn’t know how to take this kindness* Anyway, I’m glad I found Naomi. And I can’t wait to see your new blog. E
Ellen,
Well thank you in turn for your kindness. Naomi is awesome (hear that Naomi, you are *awesome*) and I’m glad I found her too or I would probably not be blogging… and I wouldn’t have met all of the cool people I have met :) we are working hard right now to get the bugs out (mostly my stubborn refusal to read the instructions, no doubt!)
@ Ellen — You are also awesome. I’m glad you found me too.
@ Brett — I would tell you that you’re awesome, but I may have already said that. We are all one big awesome family of rockness and awesomeness.
@ Naomi - you may have done that, at some point. If I am awesome, it is because I am standing on the shoulders of giants of rockness and awesomeness (such as yourself - I promise I’ll wear soft shoes…)