What You Should Be Doing Instead Of Clicking Refresh On Your Google Reader
Good holy Lord, I am busy. I have about 93 posts in the pipeline, 91 of which I swore on the life of my cat to someone or other that I would write. (Note: If I ever promise you this, I am lying. I SO don’t have a cat.) I’m going to hammer out a few in one shot cause I’m lazy like that.
1. I have a secret. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t broadcast it all over the internet. (Whoops.)
I hate ebooks.
I recognize that ebooks are a vital communication tool and I plan to write a few home business ebooks myself. (Speaking of which… my KINGDOM for a graphic designer. Help? Anyone? Must be cheap, fun, and not take yourself too seriously. Email me. Please.)
But I digress. I don’t like the way ebooks look on my screen and I don’t like that I can’t take them in the bath without dropping four hundred bucks on a Kindle and I don’t like that they don’t smell like books. But I found one I liked, and I have to share that with you because y’all, it doesn’t happen often.
The lovely and brilliant Nick Cernis of Put Things Off wrote an ebook called Tadoodlist. It’s really fucking good. I’m going to link to it here and I want you to pay attention to the fact that it is NOT AN AFFILIATE LINK, even though there is an affiliate program available. I am giving you the NONAFFILIATE link because that’s how good it is. So good I’m not even going to skim.
His copy is wildly entertaining. W-I-L-D-L-Y. When he’s not being entertaining — and sometimes when he is — he also talks about better productivity. This works very well for me because this new-fangled productivity bullshit is really, really not my thing. (See pending blog rant # 92, available Friday in select theatres. Maybe.)
A selection of essay titles from the first section alone:
Zen Kitten in a Box
Aliens with Nostrils
Parrots in Space
Bionic Worms
Einstein Shaving
The Productivians
Web 2.0 No!
This book is only appropriate for people with good senses of humor (the people who somehow continue reading this blog qualify) and above average vocabularies. Nick took that Internet Writing 101 lesson about how you should write at a 9th grade level and beat it down with a Dickens first edition. (The first edition of the book itself. The serial versions wouldn’t have done much damage, would they?)
If you have a brain in your head, this is what you will do:
A.) Buy the book.
B.) Read, learn, put into practice.
C.) Get in touch with Nick. He’s nice and accessible.
D.) Become friends with him now. Why? Because if he’s not a bestselling author in five years I’ll give you your money back myself. It never hurts to be close friends with a bestselling author.
E.) Print this page so you can reference it later when I am proven correct.
2. Ritu, the charming gentleman partially responsible for getting How We Killed Social Media onto the Digg front page (thanks, dude), has a new project in the works. Ghost Blogging is a place where blog owners and potential guestwriters/ghostwriters go to meet up and have anonymous sex connect. As a blogger, this is handy information to have, and I’ll tell you why.
You think that you can get guest bloggers whenever you want, and that might be true, if you’re Dooce. I run a fairly popular blog and I have had the grand total of 2 people take me up on offers of guest slots. They say they want to and then they run away. Would I like a week off? Why, yes I would. This is why I am interested in Ritu’s new blog speed dating thing. It’s still beta-ish, but it’s a cool concept.
3. Now for something you don’t have to pay for. I discovered a new blog. Not like, new to me. New new. Shiny new. Still smells kinda like paint new. The blog is Rogue Ink and the writer’s name is Tei. If you like IttyBiz, you’ll love Rogue Ink. She talks a little about blogging and a little about writing and a little about lumberjacks.
Go read The Blog Do-Over and give her some support because you know the first month of blogging sucks rocks and wouldn’t you have liked it if someone like you stopped by to say hi?
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I too hate eBooks. I know, I shouldn’t. I sell a few on my Preschool site. But, I don’t enjoy reading eBooks. I can’t relax while I read an eBook. And, oh how I love to relax when I read. Frankly, I think reading & relaxing go hand-and-hand.
I will keep your secret if you keep mine. :)
Shana
Shana, I wouldn’t breathe a word of it if they tortured me. If they pulled out my hairs, one by one. (Well, that’s not a good one since I don’t have hair. But you get the idea.)
Thanks for coming!!! Yay!
Ok, I bought the e-book. Because I figure if Naomi likes it I had better like it or else I am not cool like her.
(ok seriously, any guy who dedicates a book and says thanks for the giggles is right up my alley).
PS…Naomi? Thanks for all the giggles.
Ooh, jinx-finch! (Any schoolgirls out there saying things at the same time and calling out jinx-finch?)
I’d just noticed Tei from her smart comments on this blog, and am pleased that my instincts line up with a pro’s.
Ditto on Nick — almost two weeks ago, I read, I visited, I made nice, I put the ebook (which I must print before I can read — ugh!) into my paypal cart (at its original price, mind you!), and am STILL waiting for this particularly vague identity to verify my bank account so the focus stays where it should. Can’t wait to read it, he’s a clever one.
Cool recommendations, found on a blog that makes its recommenders themselves look cool, (but not in that trendy obnoxious way.)
@ Alisha — Rock on, honey. I’m so glad you dig it too. The giggles, they are good.
@ GirlPie — We used to say “jinx”. We also used to say “pediddle” or, by some variations, “pedayo” when we saw cars with only one headlight. This was accompanied by either a.) punching the top of the car, or b.) telling your companions they had to remove an item of clothing since you saw the car first. If b.), your companions insist they have never heard of the game being played that way, even if — especially if — they did the same thing to you the day before.
::shakes fist::
My blog has topped 100 visits because of you! Damn you to hell!
You awesome, awesome wench, you.
P.S. Zen Kitten in a Box would be a great name for a band. I’m going to go suggest this to some high schoolers I know, and if they become famous, this will be all your fault.
P.P.S. Don’t you love postscripts that are longer than the message? Me too.
@ Tei – Haha. Now you’re going to have to start writing “Content is king” all over your blog and using numbers in your post titles because YOU’RE A REAL BLOGGER NOW! Na na na na NAAAA na.
Oh-hoh, you’re going to be sorry for that one. It’s going up on the blog. Along with a whole bunch of nice stuff about you.
Don’t be fooled into thinking I LIKE you or anything. This is just making sure we’re squared in terms of favors, you dig?
Seriously, go tune in tomorrow morning. There’s going to be a big banner at the bottom of the post, and it’s going to say Well Played, Naomi.
P.S. Smells like PAINT?
::humph:: My blog smells like sunshine and butterfly dust. And jasmine flowers and the top of my goddaughter’s head.
You know what else smells like that? My bullshit.
OK, got the ebook because anyone who thinks ‘pencils are better’ understands my world.
Popped by Tei’s blog and I will be back to comment…I promise. I just have to go pick up my damn pencil and get back to work. :)
Thanks for all the great links Naomi.
“It’s really fucking good.” If I wasn’t a mild-mannered gutless Englishman with a penchant for tea and crumpets, that line would be going on my testimonials page before elevenses.
Naomi: heartfelt thanks for the glowing recommendation. I’m thrilled to itty bitty bits.
Tei: I’ve just been over and had a good fumble through the pages of Rogue Ink. I laughed. I subscribed. Bonus points for using the words You awesome, awesome wench, you. in a comment without coming across as callous, cold-hearted bitch. I wish I was smart enough to pull that off.
Alisha, Karen, GirlPie: Thanks. You folks are awesome. Naomi attracts cool like a penguin in a wind tunnel.
Off to check out Ghost Blogging now. If Tim Ferriss can outsource everything and fuck off to Thailand to play martial tic-tac-toe and chill out in Audi R8s then why can’t we?
I hate ebooks even more than you. So much so that in spite of the fact that I trust your recommendation, I will NOT buy this – won’t even go look at it.
Nick: if it ever gets to be a real flesh and blood (tree flesh and ink blood) book, I’ll buy it.
Thanks, Tony. I considered releasing it as a paper book too, but was put off by the expense, low-grade print quality, and general kerfuffle needed to do the self-published-on-paper dance.
I’m hoping to find a way around the above that will see the next book into print. If anyone knows of a trusted provider they’ve tested and used, do drop me a note.
I too hate e-Books, they have their place thought. I don’t mind them for technical stuff or shorter type stuff. I just cant get into reading a whole novel on a computer or spending the money on a device so that I can spend money on buying books in a format I don’t care for! The Kindle is cool though, I’d like it for reading newspapers I bet. Alas no chance for us Canadian as time soon!
Anyway I bet you could find a graphic designer in out Meet-Up group! We’re in London, like you and meet first Wednesday of every month (http://blogldn.com/ for info). I know we have some graphics people in the group and everyone is cool!
Thanks for the tip on GhostBlogging! That link may come in handy some day.
We found Tei first.
Or rather, she found us. Then she found you through us. So I think that means that both you and Tei have to thank the Pen Men for matching you up in blogger love heaven.
:)
Hey Naomi, thanks for the kind words. I definitely need to stop being such a money pincher and buy Nick’s ebook. I have heard about it all over the web and need to get my ass off the couch and buy it. Wait! I can actually sit on my ass and buy it…wohooooo… a lazy man’s dream come true.
Anyways, thanks for the plug on ghostblogging. It’s still in its early phase and with so many things going on it’s going to take a little while to make it “pro-ish”. But we will get there. Also if anyone is up for a blogging date, give it a try. I am married but my wife isn’t a blogger so what the hell.
P.S. I am glad your post made it to the front page on DIGG. I still feel like a dumbass for linking it to the homepage…DUH!
@ Naomi : Sorry for the second comment but sometimes you just got to do it when it might benefit yourself ;-)
If you want a couple days off go ahead and give the new site a try. I posted a job posting and so far had 5 response to it. Try it out. What you don’t want to pay? Fine! Shoot me an email if you are interested, it’s on me :-)
@James: Oh-hoh, but you did not come by and become my wicked adversary, did you? No, no, you just came by to be kind and encouraging and generally charming.
This is why we womenfolk always wind up with the bad boys. Naomi is a bad boy. She has a motorcycle and a leather jacket and everything. You Men with Pens are the nice guys, and you never call me anymore. I haven’t seen you in AGES.
@Nick: Thankee muchly, all I’m looking to do, at the end of the day, is make people laugh, so that’s great. I’m playing on your site too now . . . and I shall be there ALL DAY. Because I don’t have a job or anything. Ho-hoh, no. I have a blog now.
I am going to to check it out, even though I too am not a e-book fan.
lol @ “if your Dooce”. Made me smile.
All right – I’ll take it on. I’ll guest post for you, Naomi.
I’ve even got a title in mind: “When Bad Ideas Seem Like Good Ideas”.
When do I start? :)
I don’t like reading ebooks in a digital format either. So I print them out. Since I don’t have a lot of time to sit down and read, the plan has been to read a little bit at a time while I’m on the treadmill.
I have Aaron Wall’s SEO book in a huge 3 ring binder. His book is about a 10 pounder, as in if I finish it (I haven’t been in 2 weeks) I will have lost 10 lbs.
Your comments about eBooks, which might as well be called mehBooks, could apply equally well to documents in PDF format. Ever try to cosy up to one of those jewels? They’re excellent for document portability, moderately good for searching, and sleazy for reading, let alone, writing little notes in the edges, sticking reminder tabs where you’ve been, and all of that. At least Foxit makes it easier to use the damn things, but I still don’t like it.
Wonder if electronic ink will improve this paradigm?
I love bill for “mehBooks” and Nick for elevenses + kerfuffle. Bought Nick’s book, for $14 how wrong could I go?
P.S. I would do a guest post for you any time. It would let me use the word “fuckwit,” which I hardly ever get to do on my blog.