When Your Blogging Friends Are Liars
Go get yourself a nice, stiff drink, because I’m going to tell you a secret, and you’re not going to like it.
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Are you ready? Good. Deep breath now.
Bloggers lie.
Remember when you were a little kid and you had to sell chocolate bars to fund your school trip? Remember the people who rallied behind you, saying they would help you until the ends of the earth? Remember when crunch time came and you couldn’t find them for love or money, and they didn’t buy one damn bar?
These people are all grown up, and they have home business blogs.
Yesterday, I talked about all the things I would have done differently in the Taking Back The Season debacle. There was one factor I was going to include but didn’t because I thought it deserved more air time.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… The Bullshitters.
When I started the charity campaign, everybody and their mother said they’d help. People were telling me they wouldn’t even go into a mall over the course of the holiday season. They were going to buy, buy, buy from my Amazon link. Their clicking fingers would be bruised from all the shopping.
If I believed everything people told me, I would’ve been promising my charity a new HQ on Fifth Avenue. Instead, as you know, I made 39 bucks. Little bit different.
Yes, I know. Some people forgot. Some lost their jobs. Some converted to Judaism. Some people had totally and utterly legitimate reasons for not supporting when they said they would.
On the other hand, there were many others had no intentions of supporting the project in the first place. They said nice things because they didn’t like confrontation, or because they’ve been conditioned to be “nice”, or because they knew I’d never know. As far as the end result goes, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I believed the hype and thought this would be the most ass kicking campaign ever.
The same thing happens with Digg and Stumble. Every now and again, I used to send out an email to a few close supporters, asking for some Digg or Stumble love for a specific post. Some people responded, some people didn’t, but my personal favourites are the ones who send an email back saying they Dugg when they didn’t.
People, if you can brand your way out of a wet paper bag, your Digg username should be very, very obvious. In many cases, your online “friends” already know your username. When you Digg something, they’ll know. And when you don’t Digg something, they’ll know that too. People can tell, y’all.
It happens with links, it happens with guest posting opportunities, it happens with ad sponsors, it happens with potential clients. People say they’ll do something and they don’t. It happens in every facet of life, but for some reason, people think bloggers are different.
Guess what. They’re not.
One of the things people like the most about blogging is that it’s a community. One big happy family, you know? All hugfests, all the time, or so it would seem.
Yes, it’s a community. And like any community, you’re bound to run into some liars.
My father, who joined the Mormon church despite being loudly vocal in his atheism, said it best:
“90% of the people on Earth are assholes. 50% of the people attending Mormon churches are assholes. Still more assholes than there should be, but better than average.”
Bloggers, like the members of the Mormon church, are better than average. That doesn’t mean they’re perfect, and it doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot of pricks.
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Dugg!
Okay, not really.
How’s that old saying go? Oh yeah: ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.
Thanks for digging my post yesterday, Naomi :-)
I saw your name!
Well, now. I have to say, Naomi, that I agree. Wholeheartedly.
As most people are aware, I’m pretty active (read: all over the goddamned place) in the blogosphere of my niche (which is as wide as Canada). I make a lot of acquaintances, network contacts and friends.
And boy oh boy, have I ever been burned by bullshitters since being in the blogosphere. Bloggers have the shortest attention spans I’ve ever seen and their word usually isn’t very solid.
That said, I know some very great bloggers. Hell. I am one. And these people, I like very much. I have a nice list of “okay, these guys can be trusted.” Unfortunately, I had to go through a long list of “watch your ass, James” and get burned about 2 billion times.
When you get a blogger that keeps his word, hang onto him. Because he’s (or she’s) a dying breed, looks like.
Thanks for callin’ this one like it is, hon.
Naomi - I love your quote about the Mormon church.
Thanks for a pretty thought provoking post today. It sucks to be fooled by a liar, but take comfort in this - eventually, what goes around comes around. And I’ll tell you what, you have a whole hell of a lot of friends out here to support you. Just tell us where these buggers live…
Probably for every one liar out there, we are fortunate to have 10 or 20 people like you, or all of the guys above who have already commented.
So like I said, tell us where they live… :)
@ Brett - Yeah, I’ll agree. These guys are on my “trusted” list. Even Anthony ;)
@ James - Anthony tells it like it is, no BS. I like that.
@ Brett - Anthony argues with me. Like, as in straightforward, firm, direct, no bullshit, “You’re wrong, James.” That’s a sneaky tactic. Throws me off guard. Seriously. Never trust someone with sneaky tactics like that. ;)
@ James - yeah, I noticed that over at MwP one time. I appreciate that sometimes. I have a good friend who has said to me more than once or twice, “dude, you really eff’d that up” and he’s been damned serious about it. That can be a good thing sometimes.
You gotta watch out for sneaky tactics. Especially from sorceress alchemists… :)
Naomi and all,
The key to finding a blogger who keeps his/her word is to find a blogger who doesn’t think this is all there is. I really find that the people I interact with online who blog as a part of their REAL life (like, in addition to) are vastly different than the people who blog because it is (or they hope it will be) their life (like, that’s all there is). If life is MMO and chasing the next cyber-buck, then who cares if you step on someone’s head?
If, on the other hand, you have a profession that lets you come up for air among living persons periodically, or have had such a career in the past, then you are more likely to understand that behind keyboards and screens are PEOPLE, just like the ones you have relationships with in person, who should command the same kind of respect. People are not expendable resources just because they are seemingly in endless supply on the Internet. The ones with the mighty pens are in fact not in endless supply, and word of mouth can travel here, if only you and James would like to name names… ;)
It’s no requirement (as Naomi proves), but age sometimes helps too. As young’uns grow up with fewer face-to-face encounters, remembering what the eyes or voice of someone you’ve screwed over are like becomes more distant. (Harry? Can you get me my cane? If James is “here” you can’t be too far away…)
Until later,
Kelly
@ Kelly - I think you pretty much nailed it right there.
@ Kelly - Shhhh, if you call him, then he’ll come and I’ll have to behave. Ssshhh shhhh…
I have to say that I think age does have something to do with proper respect and honoring one’s word. Or experience - some young people have experienced quite a bit of maturing events in life. Some. Not most.
As for naming names… hm. What’s in it for me?
Oh, and yes. Everything else you said is absolutely correct. Yes. I was still hung up on worrying my fun was over. Very smart woman, Kelly.
Tx. I hope you don’t mean about the cane.
;)
This one isnt my fault. Really. I only found this blog a few weeks ago. (James, looky here, not my fault. First time for everything…)
Seriously though, I mostly agree with you. But I’d say the liar stats are higher than your quote. Maybe not on this blog, but in general, lotta bloggers I stumble upon are liars. Maybe not half, but close to it. Maybe they don’t outright lie; maybe they just don’t tell the whole truth. Most people, in general, I don’t think are genuine. Why should giving them a blog make it any different?
I think bloggers especially feel pressured to feel important, to be liked. I personally don’t give a rat’s ass, but a whole mass of bloggers seem like their next breath depends on their blog visitors’ approval. Seo, page rank, link love, link bait, hanging with the A-list. Kinda feels like junior high all over again. So why wouldn’t these people lie about digging you or buying from your amazon link? The cool kids rarely grow up well, do they?
/end rant
Ooh, Amy, I so agree with the junior high analogy. I think of that all the time. Too true.
*a God-like voice booms from the Heavens* Too late, James, your fun is over. This is your Voice of Reason speaking…
@Kelly: You rang? *hands her the cane* You might need to use this on James if he gets out of hand. Sorry, I don’t lend out the bullwhip.
@Amy: *whispers* Blame Fukko, that always works.
Thank God Harry’s here. All hail The Voice Of Reason.
I think a lot of bloggers are flakes, which is a kind of liar but they (uh, we) don’t think of ourselves that way. Maybe it’s the Mary Poppins pie crust promise thing–easily made, easily broken.
Ha ha, your dad sounds like mine although there’s no chance he’d ever join a Mormon church, I’m pretty sure. Yep, people are fickle. I think the internet makes it even worse since most of the time people are not accountable. I agree with what Kelly says too.
Hey Naomi, what a great way to get your readers talking :)
Seriously though, I guess this is something that happens when your blog grows over a certain size — I haven’t seen much of bullshitting yet — and I still trust everyone. Then again, that’s how I behave in my real life as well - naïve me.
Hmm… Maybe I should go and Digg something now ;)
The one thing that confuses me most is… why would anyone even want to lie about digging? It’s not like it’s a big undertaking to actually do it, all you need to do is click on a goddamn link… or have I misunderstood somehow?
Oh and I remember being stuck with a pile of magazines full of crappy jokes and messy drawings by kids in our school when all the people who REALLY WANTED TO HELP me get my school trip fund going suddenly disappeared… My poor grandmother ended up with about a dozen of them, bless her. :D
I whole heartedly agree. And families and friend are really bad, at least mine are. Promising to read and subscribe, but they don’t. I really, really try to not make promises I can’t keep. And when it is something like Digging or Stumbling, I just do it right then so as not to forget or let it slip away. But that is always why I take my expectations and knock them way down. People’s best intentions just don’t always come through.
The hell with Girl Scout Cookies.
I Dugg it. Really, I did. I mean, I do…
@Michael: I agree. People don’t usually mean to lie. They just have too high expectations regarding what they can achieve in their limited time.
So, they say things like “yeah, I’ll digg you tonight…”, or even worse, “I dugg your post” when they actually mean “I will digg your post”. And then when they forget the promise, the promise becomes a lie…
I guess that happens to all of us every now and then. But this is a good reminder to try to not overpromise.
[...] over at IttyBiz has inspired me now two days in a row. Today, it’s When Your Blogging Friends Are Liars. Now, I don’t really have any blogging friends to speak of. Perhaps a couple here and [...]
Question: Is this still going on? (I mean the Amazon thing for your charity, not the bloggers being liars) And, if it is can you post a link to it? Oh and another question… can one buy ANYTHING from Amazon as long as we start through your link, and have the money go to your charity?
I swear I didn’t know about IttyBiz at that time, or I would have bought my coursebooks through you since I generally have to buy them anyways. I’m starting a new quarter in a couple of weeks, and if I need books I have no problem ordering them through your Amazon link! (I don’t know if I need the books yet though, so don’t hate me if I don’t!)
Oh another question… does this only work for products that are being sold directly by Amazon? Like, if I were to buy a used book or a product from another seller but through Amazon, would you still get any profits from it?
I agree with the point of your post though. Bloggers, and those who read blogs, lie. 70+ people said they would buy my Sushi Day shirts. Only 7 people have bought them, 4 of which were family and close friends who I know for a fact didn’t participate in the poll!
The way Amazon Affiliates works in general, if you come in through the affiliate link, anything you buy within X amount of time is credited to that link’s account. If you click on someone else’s affiliate link in the mean time, though, it wipes out the previous link.
Not sure about the other sellers.
Hi Allison, thanks for the question.
The promo is not still going on, but only because the administration would be a nightmare. I’ll probably do this again next year, although I’ll follow more of my own rules. :-)
Ditto to what Sonia said, and yes, it does apply to other sellers. If you can buy it through the Amazon.com shopping cart (including downloads and gift certificates), it counts towards affiliate income.
Awesome shirts, by the way. Do you ship to Canada?
I see. Well, now that I’m here, I suppose I’ll know when it happens! I won’t be buying textbooks then though, that will be over with by then.
Thanks! Uh, I do ship to Canada, but right now I can’t get Google Checkout to accept orders from Canada… so email me if you want a shirt and we’ll work something out!
Sorry I’m late Naomi,
But I had to comment since I so agree with you. Unfortunately we are all just humans and we all fuck up one way or another. One thing however I would never do is to say I’ve done something when i haven’t. This just screams bad karma and would have to come round eventually. Why would one be so stupid?
On the other hand, people get carried away by energy and excitement. They say they will going to do something with the best of their intentions. I know I have. And then totally forget about it.
But lies. Nobody should ever lie as you will be found out!
Update about the shirts: Google Checkout is stuuuupid. So, email me at sushiday [at] gmail [dot] com if you want a shirt, and I can give you a U.S. address to use as your “shipping address” for Google Checkout, and then you can email me the address you actually want me to ship to.
[...] OK, the Canadian content regulation is a lie - bloggers do lie every now and then. [...]
i would like to die becaucethey foolled me idot.how dare they are to do like this to me?always all the people around me fools i feel sooo sad.