What Should I Tweet About? It Might Not Be What You Think

by Naomi Dunford

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

I got a link the other day to a massive resource list of social media tips. (80? I think it was 80.) I will not find it and link to it because I think it was not just stupid, but damaging.

The advice — from social media “experts”, God help us — fell in two categories.

1. Approximately 64 versions of “contribute to the conversation”.

I think we all know what I think about that.

2. “Give really useful tips.”

This got me thinking… if every expert in Christendom is saying this, perhaps there’s something to it.

But, see, personally? I HATE useful tips. HATEHATEHATE. I am on Twitter to waste time and screw around with my peeps. Twitter is not my study group, it’s my water cooler. And if you came up to me out of the blue at the water cooler and gave me a bullet point on how to optimize my email subject lines, I would first ignore you, then avoid you, then punch you in the nose.

How To Get Into A Guru’s Pants

by Johnny Truant

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

This is a post from IttyBiz columnist, Johnny B. Truant.

Let’s try a fun little mental experiment.

Think of your favorite people to follow: The big guys and girls, the ones you look to as mentors and the ones who are where you’d like to be. To put a finer point on it, I’m talking about the people who have successful businesses, who are making a lot of money, who are in the public eye (at least as far as your industry is concerned), who have a big fan base, etc.

Know who I’m talking about? Okay good. Now for today’s lesson.

Those people put their pants on one leg at a time.

Thanks for your attention. You can leave your comments below, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.

Make Them Love You. THEN Ask For Money

by Naomi Dunford

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

One of the questions I get a lot, especially after the Money Calls incident, goes a little something like this:

“I need to make [very high dollar figure] by [date that is alarmingly close to now]. I have [no blog /small blog/ no list/ small list]. I can’t imagine how to even start doing it. Can you help?”

I love this question. The answer is surprisingly simple.

Let’s put in some fake numbers and play it out. Let’s say you need $20,000 and you need it 29 days from today.

The reason most people fail when given a task like this one – and when I say “fail”, I mean a level of fail that is so bad, they may as well have not bothered because they probably managed to LOSE money in the process – is because they try to start making money today.

Happy Birthday to the Reason IttyBiz Exists

by Naomi Dunford

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Naomi is most likely back from her adventures in Ireland now, but we’ve reached the culmination of our countdown and wouldn’t dream of keeping you in the dark about the top post. And so, we present for your reading pleasure and general edification, Post #1 in the Unofficial List of The Top 15 Best / Favorite / Most Popular IttyBiz Posts, which proves that the IttyBiz readers are (a) suckers for adorable pictures of Jack, and (b) as fond of this particular post as we are.

Originally published September 4, 2008

Dearest baby Jack,

On Labour Day, 2000, I was going to school for something I hated and gearing up to divorce your brother’s Daddy.

On Labour Day, 2001, I was living in a homeless shelter and pregnant with a baby boy you’ll never get to meet, although you can trust me that he was pretty awesome while he was here.

On Labour Day, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005, I was getting ready to go back to work after the long weekend. It was a different job each year — all temp — and I hated each with varying degrees of intensity.

But on Labour Day, 2006, you came, and everything was different.

There’s a Bryan Adams song that you will one day hear on oldies radio and cringe, and it says, “Everything I do, I do it for you.” I personally think our pal Bryan is a bit of a poser, but I know how he feels on this one.

Everybody says that when they have a child, it changed their lives forever. This is obviously true, but it’s kind of a dumb thing to say if you ask me. I mean, do you think all these parents were pacing the halls at two in the morning before they had kids? Like, for fun? Because if we’re honest, you and other people in your demographic are a bit of a pain in the ass, frankly. So yeah, kids change lives.

But in your case, you unknowingly changed a lot more lives than just mine.

Between the bedrest and the panic attacks and the dental surgery without anaesthetic and the abject poverty, being pregnant with you was not what it said on the tin.

All Customers Are Liars

by Naomi Dunford

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Naomi is most likely back from her adventures in Ireland now, but because we’re so close revealing the #1 post, our countdown rolls on! Here we present for your reading pleasure and general edification Post #2 in the Unofficial List of The Top 15 Best / Favorite / Most Popular IttyBiz Posts.

Originally published February 20, 2009

Every time you scold your children in public for doing something they get away with at home, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you order a diet Coke simply because there are people around, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you wear control top pantyhose, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you think before answering an interview question, you are manipulating the truth.

Every time you clean your dorm room before your mother comes, you are manipulating the truth.

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